Just venting here, I’ll probably delete this. I’m a married woman in my mid-30’s. I dealt with my fair share of unwanted comments/attention as a single woman in my 20’s.
As I’ve gotten older, I have enjoyed feeling more respected by people. I’m usually with my husband in public, especially if it’s at night.
Tonight I decided to go to a corner store by myself, which I never do anymore. I’m about to check out some candy and the (male) cashier says suddenly “Are you ok?” I said “yeah, why?” he said “because you don’t look happy. Smile, it’s okay” or something along those lines.
I felt uncomfortable. I did a small smile and walked away. My heart sank a little. Just the feeling of “so this is still happening”
It made me think… I don’t get those comments when I’m with my husband. My husband doesn’t get those comments when he’s alone.
The thing is, if women walk around looking super open/friendly/happy, we get even weirder comments.. people take it as an invitation. So it feels like you can’t win. It’s unsettling to feel that going about your everyday life is a performance viewed by others.
I would like to know why men do this? Is there any way to prevent it or handle it well? Does it stop once we reach a certain age?
Comments
Sounds perfectly fine to me.
Tell them to get on their hands and knees and bark like a dog (or give them any order that if they carry it out, it would actually make you smile). If they get butthurt, well, there you go, it proves your point. People don’t like taking orders from random strangers.
“I don’t get paid to smile”
I don’t mind someone asking me if I’m ok if they think somethings wrong, but telling me to smile so I look happy for them? Piss off, I’m not here for you
Miss Manners’s suggested response to “Smile” is “Why? Did you say something funny?”