A masked robber is approaching you ready to attack. The object directly to your right is the only weapon you have to defend yourself. What is it?

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Will you have a chance at survival with the object or are you completely doomed? Share what your object is and how you will use it.

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  2. Medium_Hope_7407 Avatar

    It’s gun 🤣🤷🏾

  3. ecwx00 Avatar

    a pillow….. 🙁

  4. RoninRaines Avatar

    Uhm…My cat. I mean, she’d likely claw his eyeballs out so I guess she’s an effective weapon.

  5. Playful-Park4095 Avatar

    Coffee mug, roughly half full. I have options.

  6. mpcrang Avatar

    A pillow, but the pillow weighs about 8 pounds. I’d still rather use my hands, but it’s better than a standard pillow I guess

  7. Fermifighter Avatar

    A window? Depending on whether I can wrest it free or break it I’m in very good or very bad shape.

  8. __Quercus__ Avatar

    My overly friendly dog. Attack, Hercules attack! Aaack, the robber is giving him scritches.

  9. ingannilo Avatar

    That would be my three year old son.  We are collectively in trouble.  I’d rather go with fists than swing a toddler at the robber. I’d instruct the child to run away, preferably to his bedroom.  This all does beg the question: why is there a robber in my bedroom? 

  10. Euphoric_Care_2516 Avatar

    A computer mouse. I suppose I could throw it at him and then try to use it as a garrote.

  11. 89reddit89 Avatar

    A laptop…but it has a cord in it, so I guess I could whip the cord or use it to choke them. Or just use the laptop as a blunt weapon.

  12. Street_Ad_3165 Avatar

    A lamp? Could be worse…

  13. ace1oak Avatar

    i hide my gun in this item on my right so…. i might be ok

  14. Key_Ladder8646 Avatar

    How did I look over and see this post while I, a male, was peeing supporting my member with my right hand.😂

  15. -0-O-O-O-0- Avatar

    Does a 35 year old female count? If not it’s a jacket worn by a 35 year old female. Not that useful.

  16. cheshire_kat7 Avatar

    My small poodle. I’m sure he’d give it his best shot, but I’m not optimistic about his chances of success.

  17. Injured_Fox Avatar

    Dozen chef Knives and a giant cake cutter to my right, they not having a good time heh

  18. CocoaReese Avatar

    A Roku remote. I’ll just change the channel to something he likes so I can sneak out while they start binging.

  19. CupcakeLongjumping13 Avatar

    My collection of perfume🤣 (there’s alot)

    It could be interesting 🤔

  20. InsaneVeggie Avatar

    A roll of paper towels

  21. FionaTheFierce Avatar

    down pillow and a nylon wubbie… Maybe suffocation????

  22. zerogravitas365 Avatar

    A corkscrew, but sadly a lever action type which is not very useful as a weapon. More fool me for not using a waiter’s friend.

  23. chumbucket77 Avatar

    This is unfortunate. I am on my couch surrounded by the bane of my existence. The endless throw pillows that take up the entire couch that my gf continually purchases. So looks like Im gonna have a hell of a one sided pillow fight

  24. enpowera Avatar

    A mug of freshly brewed, hot coffee that’s too hot to even dream of drinking without burning my tongue.

    I shall take the lid off and throw it on them, and assuming there are eyeholes in the mask, get their eyes.

  25. Adavanter_MKI Avatar

    Scissors. So… maybe? Going be a gory fight!

  26. version13 Avatar

    A German Shepherd. She’s usually pretty chill but I feel like she would defend me.

  27. singleguy79 Avatar

    Wind and Truth of the Stormlight Archive. Sure it’s a thick book but still.

  28. Rexxington Avatar

    A large piece of broken glass.

  29. palehorse2020 Avatar

    Chevy Silverado

  30. NoBet1791 Avatar

    Throw blanket

  31. Automatic-Plankton10 Avatar

    AND ITS A STEEL CHAIRRRRER

  32. alicesartandmore Avatar

    It’s a toss up between a steak knife and a pair of scissors.

  33. DrunkPhoenix26 Avatar

    My 16-year-old son… we’re doomed

  34. Jaded_Taste6685 Avatar

    A roll of toilet paper (I’m on the toilet at work).

  35. Thugnificent83 Avatar

    The robber is masked, but you didn’t say armed.

    As he’s just a robber and not a killer, we can just fight if he’s unarmed, or he can have what he likes if has a knife or gun.

  36. Rose_E_Rotten Avatar

    Bottle of water, I guess I could clock him on the head.

  37. ActiveOldster Avatar

    Ha! Two-shot derringer .45ACP hollow points!

  38. Liberate_Cuba Avatar

    Roku tv remote, the little one.

  39. Leomon2020 Avatar

    Good thing I just washed a cast iron skillet. 😂😂😂

  40. AvarethTaika Avatar

    not including my gun cuz someone else already said that, a synthesizer. specifically a Korg Opsix, which while not particularly heavy or strong being basically a raspberry pi in a plastic box, is large enough to use as a shield and potentially beat them with the corners.

  41. plaignard Avatar

    A coco melon water bottle.

  42. Rfitz81 Avatar

    A toddler. I guess I have a flail

  43. math-kat Avatar

    I have a calculator. I think I am getting robbed.

  44. Wardog008 Avatar

    A wall. I guess I’d try to sidestep and shove their head into it?

  45. Ok-Cicada-9985 Avatar

    2013 Honda Odyssey door

  46. Eneicia Avatar

    A chair with a fan and a blanket on it. Yeet the fan at him as a distraction, throw the blanket over him, then bash him with the chair.

  47. FlyingMothy Avatar

    What does the robber have? If they dont have anything I have a chance anyways unless they are strong af. Theres nothing to my right for a few feet and thats where the robber would be coming from anyways.

  48. RoyalPuzzleheaded259 Avatar

    A small blue tooth speaker. I guess I could get one good whack with it.

  49. Objective_Till_1910 Avatar

    Oh lord… a rubber ducky.

  50. ms-meow- Avatar

    A 1/4 full bottle of water

  51. DukeDroese123 Avatar

    A baby monitor. I don’t know how effective it will be as a weapon, but maybe the robber will hear my son screaming and thrashing around and take pity on me and go to the next house.

  52. Praising_God_777 Avatar

    A nice tall cup of ice water.

  53. CtznSoldier4088 Avatar

    A 3/4 full 750ML glass bottle of Dr McGillicuddy’s Intense Raw Vanilla…… Depending on what the robber is attacking me with and skills in hand to hand and CQC I think a good whack across the skull or Jabbing the bottom right to their nose should do the trick

  54. nasnedigonyat Avatar

    Fork you right in the eye robber-pants

    Bc I have a fork

  55. Efficient_Good1393 Avatar

    Had range day today, it’s a bag with a wasr 10, 20in barreld Aero Precision m4e1, and a PSA AKV 9mm. I’m pulling out the WASR.

  56. Billthebanger Avatar

    My wife !!! I pity the fool !

  57. Bluvista Avatar

    I have an empty plate. A fork. And a plastic chair. There is potential.

  58. Weird-Old-Man Avatar

    A toilet paper holder

  59. jmlack Avatar
  60. theglobalnomad Avatar

    It’s my most skittish and pacifist cat, who is currently cuddling me while sick. I’m just getting robbed tonight, I guess.

  61. Mamapalooza Avatar

    It’s my 20-year-old daughter who has anxiety so we’re dead, lol.

  62. theredbeardedhacker Avatar

    A dog hair brush that is designed with extra hooky teeth to really get the loose hair out. Like a grooming brush.

    I like my odds.

  63. knivesoutmtb Avatar

    only thing near me to the right is a benchmade bugout. pretty sharp too

  64. FractionofaFraction Avatar

    Some motherfucker about to be clobbered by a door.

  65. _notfeelingcreative Avatar
  66. asphid_jackal Avatar

    A can of glass cleaner spray. Can I also use the lighter in my pocket? Either way, dude’s about to get an eyeful of streak-free clarity

  67. Fast_Introduction_34 Avatar

    A mouse or a bowl of grapes

  68. Hanksta2 Avatar

    A hot cast iron pan.

  69. OctoDagon Avatar

    I have a tall floor lamp to my right. This is quite fortunate as I am trained in lamp.

  70. OdinsGhost Avatar

    An aluminum baseball bat with 8 lbs of lead in the core. I’m doomscrolling in bed and it’s my “bedtime guest greeter”. It’s for wild animals, but I’ll take my chances with a robber in the dark.

  71. Piscivore_67 Avatar

    My cane, which I have no problem beating a bitch with.

  72. ApatheticFinsFan Avatar

    A coffee table with a marble top. I’ve got a chance.

  73. ereignishorizont666 Avatar

    A down comforter. Not like the robber is getting anything though.

  74. hoard_of_frogs Avatar

    A passenger side car door, so uh, I guess I lock it and we drive away?

  75. Educational_Sail4920 Avatar

    Tv controller. Throws at head, doink

  76. nevadapirate Avatar

    An out the front switchblade sits right next to my mouse pad at my desk. Im gonna get stabby.

  77. FatReverend Avatar

    The option of 4 different swords, I’m gonna be fine.

  78. PsychologySpiritual7 Avatar

    My girlfriend… Who’s holding a kitten. Mind you the kitten has sharp claws…

  79. Up2nogud13 Avatar

    A Ruger P89 9mm and 2 full mags. I’m good.

  80. olivegardengambler Avatar
  81. IWantToBuyAVowel Avatar

    Nice, I have a pair of alignment punches. Someone is losing their eyes, hypothetically of course.

  82. gizmosticles Avatar

    This dudes about to get hit with a dog

  83. Pristine-Copy9467 Avatar

    A toilet paper holder. Dudes dead

  84. Darkwolf-281 Avatar

    I have a few things to my right. A glass of water, nail clippers and file, a pocket knife, and miscellaneous items

  85. USSanon Avatar

    My backpack.

  86. iInciteArguments Avatar

    My computer mouse. If only I was left handed it would’ve been scissors!

  87. Aaxper Avatar

    A small glass of water… I guess broken glass can make a knife? Still very not ideal.

  88. FluffyCowNYI Avatar

    My crested gecko’s enclosure. I’m sure Scarlett wouldn’t mind being yeeted at the intruder. 🤣

  89. ObscureJackal Avatar

    Java for Dummies All in One. Thick enough to be semi effective at least.

  90. LegDayLass Avatar

    Damn I almost always win these because I usually read these while in bed where I have a gun. In the bathroom right now. Guess I’m making do with my standing towel rack.

  91. jaysrule24 Avatar

    A straight bar attachment for a weight machine that I’m pretty sure is older than I am. Of all the potential options, a foot and a half long metal bar with a chain attached to the middle of it is far from the worst way to protect myself.

  92. IandSolitude Avatar

    A box with 10 1L bottles of sulfuric acid

  93. Environmental_Boot85 Avatar

    An empty glass bottle. That could cause some damage to them.

  94. MissSara13 Avatar

    Someone is getting a face full of shih-tzu.

  95. Midian1369 Avatar

    My new deboning knife, I think I have a chance.

  96. MadameCoco7273 Avatar

    Neutrogena face wash. I suppose I could squeeze it into their eyes.

  97. Mary_P914 Avatar
  98. chococheese419 Avatar

    I have a dehumidifier so I could smash it over his head

  99. nawksnai Avatar

    A kettle with boiling hot water in it.

  100. Impressive-Force-912 Avatar

    I have a mattress. 

    I guess I could confuse the robber?

  101. Wildtalents333 Avatar

    That guy’s wife.

  102. DargeBaVarder Avatar

    A massage gun. This will be interesting

  103. Hidden_Dragonette Avatar

    I’m browsing Reddit on the throne, so it’s a shower curtain. Guess I’m trying to net the jerk and make a run for it.

  104. MichaelTheFallen Avatar

    Computer mouse. I’m going for his eyes or balls.

  105. Bullvy Avatar

    My wife’s battery operated boyfriend?!? 😞

  106. Jdms_Mvp Avatar

    macbook air

  107. OverlordWilliam Avatar

    A wooden dining room chair. It’s bludgeoning time, I suppose.

  108. urmomsgotapoint Avatar

    Thurmaflask.
    Used correctly i should be ok

  109. ThatOneGuy308 Avatar

    I don’t think a granola bar is going to cut it, unless the robber has a severe peanut allergy.

  110. lonely_nipple Avatar

    A roll of toilet paper. Lucky me!

  111. bmd25 Avatar

    Fml… a pillow. Guess I’m having a pillow fight.

  112. dwho422 Avatar

    If it’s a single object, it’s a bottle of Pepsi. If it’s just like…. everything in reach to my right, it’s like 300 bottles of Pepsi. I’d rather rely on my combat skills but hitting them with like 300 bottles before they get close may give me a slightly better outcome.

  113. celticgaul28 Avatar

    Glass bottle of coke

  114. MommaAmadora Avatar

    A heavy wooden cutting board…. I would be sad to lose my favorite cutting board, but it is more than enough to kill a man.

  115. KHanson25 Avatar

    Hopefully they won’t beat up a toddler

  116. helpaguyout911 Avatar

    Medium Stanley water cup with a handle.

  117. vandyfan35 Avatar

    Toilet brush.

  118. sand-man89 Avatar

    I have a……. Chair

  119. Big_Bookkeeper1678 Avatar

    My laptop…the cheapest laptop available at Best Buy (I had a gift card). Needed a backup computer for work (leave one at home so I don’t destroy the antique they give me to use.)
    Anyway, it’s plastic, so maybe when it shatters, the plastic shards might give him a cut or something…

  120. Equivalent_Ad8133 Avatar

    A civil war saber, WW2 bayonet, and a crossbow pistol. Unless the robber is carrying a gun, I think I stand an excellent chance of being ok.

  121. fender8421 Avatar

    It’s a lamp. Honestly not bad.

    Just got home from the fighting gym, though, so the robber picked a pretty fun time

  122. Raistlin_DoUrden Avatar

    Well, laaaaa-diiiii-dah! Good ole Roscoe! 😁

  123. Badger1994 Avatar

    Remote control. <power off>.

  124. SnoopyFan6 Avatar

    A box of Kleenex. Guess I can throw them at the robber.

  125. Evil_Sharkey Avatar

    It’s a space heater with a thick cord. I’m using it as a meteor hammer and then strangling him.

  126. Clutch8299 Avatar

    My old ass lazy cat

  127. JayWnr Avatar

    My nightstand is light enough for me to pick up, but heavy enough for me to swing so…

  128. gc3 Avatar

    A rolled up New Yorker, wait, I also have a samurai sword

  129. ILoveAliens75 Avatar

    My car door. I’ll just slam it into him then tell my hubby to drive

  130. shemjaza Avatar

    Hehehe. It’s my ute (Truck for Americans). Mr Armed Robbery is about to learn why the HiLux is one of the most popular vehicles in the world.

  131. Enderwiggen33 Avatar

    Good luck to my wife

  132. Life-Round-1259 Avatar

    Back extension workout machine.

  133. tpaque Avatar

    A big candle stick.

  134. DeadlySoren Avatar

    A massive, heavy, solid wood butchers block. I get one chance, either I scare him off or bet everything on one throw.

  135. MagScaoil Avatar

    A paperback book. Fortunately, I’ve watched all the John Wick movies, so I’m sure I could turn it into a weapon.

  136. Putrid_Department_17 Avatar

    A wall fan. Them blades be surprisingly sharp yo

  137. Biscotti_BT Avatar

    I’m gonna go with a trained attack ferret. It’s going up the leg and attacking. The robber is fucked now because I’m not a small guy and now I’m fucking him up with my hands because his shit is getting eaten by my weapon, My little buddy who I’m gonna call smiley.

  138. Demp223 Avatar

    My daily ccw pistol. Shotgun is another foot past that.

  139. AgentUpright Avatar

    Some poor traveler at the Newark airport. Good luck, Instagram-watching-lady, this robber looks determined.

  140. zombie_pr0cess Avatar

    Aw man, it’s a woman. Guess I’ll die 🤷

  141. rufireproof3d Avatar

    Toilet plunger. Even if he wins the fight, he loses.

  142. BitterPop5602 Avatar
  143. Biscotti_BT Avatar

    My fiancee is picking me, so I guess I’m fucking him up. What is the rough size of this attacker. If they are lean then “somebody gonna get hurt real bad”.

  144. 69hornedscorpio Avatar

    Water bottle- Aquafina

  145. nonsensicalinsanity Avatar
  146. Dry_Barracuda2850 Avatar

    A stuffed sheep my cats suckle on… I guess I’m smothering the robber…

  147. Glittering_Contest78 Avatar

    I have a 64 ounce metal water bottle that full.

    I can beat his brains in.

  148. Somethingisshadysir Avatar

    My retainer. I’m screwed.

  149. Dragosal Avatar

    Nothing to my right within reach. Guess I’m fighting bare handed

  150. ducktheoryrelativity Avatar

    A cup of coffee. I might not be screwed.

  151. CuteLingonberry9704 Avatar

    My Kindle? I could try and smack him with it, but otherwise, kinda screwed here. Now if you’d said my left? My pittie would have something to say to thw robber

  152. RefrigeratorNo7470 Avatar

    Toilet paper🤦🏼‍♂️