I think I might literally be the most extroverted person I’ve ever met. How do extroverts survive in grad school and academia generally? I learn and remember 100 times more if I’m working on a research problem with somebody. Even when I’m not working, I’d rather be watching TV or listening to a podcast with company. (Or just chatting.)
The problem isn’t my department. I like them all, and by any normal standard for academia, we’re thriving socially. We go out to dinner after seminars, go to the gym together, grab coffee… Everyone has been really welcoming and I feel really lucky and valued. And that’s so rare in academia! I’ve hit the jackpot really. But that’s still not enough for me. Honestly, typing it out I feel ungrateful.
Does anyone else feel the same way? How do you cope?
(This is both a request for advice and permission to DM me if you feel like it! I’m in philosophy but honestly very happy to get to know anyone (my best friends are a computer scientist, a medical statistician, and a plant biologist etc.))
Comments
You learn to appreciate alone time.
Extroverts generally do very well, because so much is based on networking. The ability to actually enjoy conferences is like an academic superpower. I’m glad you’re happy.
That said, for the love of everything, please don’t try to talk with people when they’re getting work done. The large majority of people lose an hour or more of time from a two-minute question, because they lose focus. I’ve lost an entire lab’s productivity from having one extrovert in the room (well, until the other students begged me to find them somewhere else to be).
I am also an extrovert. I write with people and start a bunch of collaborative projects and try to create collaborative intellectual spaces, although the end result is I have way too many meetings on my calendar.
Good luck, not a bad problem to have
You’re the glue in interdisciplinary teams. People like me who are happiest telling computers what to do can lean on you to make connections and gather money. It’s a valuable position!
Every department needs one, and I promise all the introverts around are glad that someone else is willing to make the first move socially.
I’m an introverted scientist and I thrive in privacy. I’ve spent my career safely behind the “authorized personnel only” sign. If I were extroverted as you describe, I might’ve been successful in a business venture. I was always at the mercy of government grants and contracts, and there were times when I wanted to start my own lab.
Might you have ADHD?
Some of the things you describe sound like extroversion, but some of the things you describe sound like ADHD. If you have ADHD, then there is a different set of advice, you know?
Make a group—a reading seminar, or something.
My friends and I had a tradition: every Friday night we’d grab beers and talk about science. Sometimes, we would each explain a paper we read that week to each other. Or share new data. All of us were in the same department but studying very different things. It was so helpful! Good luck out there 🫡
Academia is great for extraverts, especially the further you climb in your career. Mentoring students and postdocs, teaching, networking at colleagues, collaborating with others, doing any administrative committee all involves communicating with and working with other people. Sometimes it involves being “on” a lot! It’s definitely not as much of a lone wolf career as many make it out to be!
Seriously consider a teaching-focused institution. I’m very extroverted and even I’m drained after a week of so many people.
Hey I’m a philosophy prof. What are you working on?