My gf punched me last night, but it happened after I slapped her out of fear.
Our relationship has been rocky on and off but last night was the first time we have ever been physically abusive to each other.
My gf is the bigger of the two of us, and I’ve always been a little afraid of her during arguments and I made a bad choice based on the fear.
We only got into the argument because I didn’t want to go out for work this weekend and she was upset because she feels that my family views it as her fault.
We exchanged some nasty words and first she was crying and than she started doing this terrifying laugh crying thing she does when she gets to a certain point.
I can’t explain how it is scary but it’s incredibly uncanny and it sets off all of the warning alarms in my head and I never know how to deal with it.
We got to the point where we were yelling at each other, she stepped towards me and I slapped her.
It wasn’t because I wanted to hit her or any variation I just just scared of her in that moment, I didn’t think she was going to hurt me it was just a visceral fear I don’t know.
Everything went silent for a minute and then she punched me square in the jaw, absolutely no hesitation she just hauled off and hit me like I was a sandbag.
I fell obviously and I’m not ashamed to admit I cried it hurt and was again terrifying, I think she helped me onto the bed after a minute and left the room.
I do know that she came back with a ice pack for me, and she hugged me which I just let happen because what else was I supposed to do, she backhandedly apologized that it hurt but never apologized for hitting me.
We have not talked about it I know we’re both thinking about it but we haven’t said anything about it and to go along with uncanny feeling she decided to still go on and cook me dinner and then breakfast this morning which I always feel a little worried about after arguments just because I’m paranoid she might do something stupid, but she never has and seems very offended that I get paranoid.
I did apologize for slapping her this morning and she again apologized that she hurt me but didn’t apologize for hitting me.
I was on the fence about whether or not this could be considered an emotionally abusive relationship just based on what she demands of me emotionally but the step into physical violence makes me really see how abusive it seems.
I really don’t want to lose her but I can’t do the abuse.
TL;DR: my gf scared me, I slapped her and she punched me in return.
Comments
You dont get to slap someone because you’re spooked. Punching wasn’t appropriate but I see why she would.
Just break up for the love of god.
You aren’t good for each other. Break up.
Get the fuck away from each other.
There is no trust here and there shouldn’t be.
You shouldn’t remain where you feel under physical threat like that. Even if she hadn’t punched you, the fact you felt so much fear that you lashed out physically—that’s enough. Thats more than enough. That’s the end. Continuing after that can only demean you and you’ll build horrific habits.
And that’s before she punched you.
You need to leave. Yesterday.
If you’re scared of her, you two should not be together. If anyone has any reason to fear their partner, they need to run. They need to leave. This is not slap vs punch. Obviously your relationship was unhealthy prior to that night. Neither of you are in the right but it seems she’s been abusive for a while. Don’t stay, it’ll get worse.