So I’ve got this ex who I spent seven years with. I had pretty bad memory loss when we started dating and at first they looked out for me. Flash forward a couple years and they’re trying to start a cult using skills they learned in therapy, have a god complex, and expect our mutual friends to follow them at the drop of a hat.
We went out separate ways a while ago, and ended our friendship in 2022. I’ve found out I’ve got a lotta habits and tendencies from being with them – I accept abuse without questioning it, I struggle to defend my own stances bc for years it was theirs or bust. I flinch when someone yells, etc etc. I’ve only just started feeling comfy with where I’ve built myself up again.
It’s three years later and I find out they’re chatting with my 14 year old brother. My brother’s the one that followed them, but they’re the one that reached out
Now, me and him aren’t talking for a variety of reasons, but I know he’s in rough shape, and that this person ain’t safe for vulnerable folks. Idk how much they’re talking, I just know they are and it’s burning in my mind because all my brain is screaming is
THIS ISNT SAFE
but idk what to do or even who to approach. I wanna reach out to my ex to be like “hey, can you leave my family alone?” But is that appropriate??
Comments
It’s 100% appropriate for you to ask him to stop messaging your family. It’s also appropriate for you to warn your brother that this man doesn’t have good intentions when speaking with him and it could be unsafe.
Take evidence of this person’s bullshit to your bro first.
Right now your bro likely feels like this person is the only person listening to or caring about bro (that’s how cult freaks work).
So you need to not be seen as unnecessarily and aggressively removing this person from your bro’s life, without a stable platform of understanding for your bro.
You don’t want your bro running harder to their culty arms.
So evidence and a clear sit down with your bro needs to happen first.