I just went out with a coworker friend (M idk his age I want to say 30s) tonight to grab some food after work to catch up. I’m getting laid off and he’s been giving me advice. I am a female (24), might be relevant. We talked about the job hunt, bad roommates, and other random topics. I was taking the bus back home and he waited with me. The hospitable person in me gave him a side hug as a thanks for waiting with me and he…. Kissed my ear?!
I don’t know if it was by accident.
We’ve met up several times to grab food. He’s usually paid, but I thought that was because he’s the one to ask to meet up, and he still has a job and I don’t.
Edit: I usually eat before we meet up. He likes to dine out so I sit with him. I get a juice or soda and he’ll usually just tell them to not worry about putting it on another bill.
I’ve always asked how much do I owe him, and I never expect for him to pay. He’s never called the meetings a date, and I’ve never got the feeling he was in to me. I’m not into him, I just wanted a friend during this rough time.
I have no idea what to do about this, and I need help.
Comments
He went for like a cheek or maybe head? Kiss and fucked it up. Def intentional though. Was making a not so subtle, subtle move 100%.
Probably overthinking it, chalk it up to error but if it’s more obvious or overt next time then you’ll know, your current data point is a weird side hug ear-lips contact
If he calls for another meal, make it clear you “so appreciate his friendship during this time”. If he leans in again, pull back. No more side hugs or any other bc that would be leading him on.
Honesty is the best policy. Right? Next time be blunt and state that you’re not interested. If the “meetings” stop. Then you have your answer
You thought he didn’t like you but was being helpful anyway?
Maybe sneak in a mention of ‘not wanting to date right now’ at some point
You’ve been letting him pay? And you thought he was just being nice? 😑😬🤣🤣🤣 And now he kissed your ear. Yeah, he’s using these meetups as a backdoor for dating. Either be direct with him about your non-interst or don’t be available to him. I vote for direct if you have any interest in his friendship or work/career advice. But you can’t let it keep going like this.
Start with “hey bro “
Stop leading him on and wasting his time.
Pay your own way, make your lack of interest known.
If you’re attractive and not interested in him, either make it evident or don’t go out anymore.
You’re kinda sending all the wrong signals for someone that not interested. You’re meeting up with a guy constantly that you got no interest for. You’re letting him pay and you’re hugging and kissing ears now. The ear kissing is not accident.
You got to communicate asap that you’re a friend and nothing more and the last time I checked idk maybe things changed now but I’m a bit old fashion… Friends don’t kiss each other ears or pay for drinks or things unless were trying to get something more then “friendship” and there is an expectation to get something more then just been friends perhaps even some fwb action going. It already gotten up to this point where your ears are getting kissed and them ears are wet.
You went on dates. Best to just address it directly with your coworker before they tell everyone you’re their GF.
Show him this post 😂
So you led him on….
Tbh at this point you at least owe him a suckjob – plus you’ll have a great work reference moving forward
Oof are you American? There is nothing wrong with a peck on the cheek. Normal in most societies outside of the conservative, republican USA.
Being platonic friends with the opposite sex doesn’t mean you’re leading them on just bc they want more or are delusional by making normal things fantasy
You’re incredibly naive.
Don’t be naive
Please have an open conversation with him and make sure he is on the same page. It is commendable on your part that you are not using him for money and are willing to be there for him when he calls.