For context : me and my husband were on hard times . Mnl offered us a place to stay , we moved in 10 months ago . Problems came up , passive aggressive behavior raised , bullying started .
I tried to ignore everything . All the bullying and harsh comments. I got called crazy if I stood up for my self so I didn’t for the past few months . I let all the stuff slide and just kept patient.
Well today I blow up . I didn’t scream but I called out the bullying and basically said idc if my in laws don’t like me . I couldn’t take it anymore . I felt like a punching bag and finally grow a spine as some redditers would say .
Anyways my mother n law was my child care , she has always been my childcare and never had an issue with it . Never asked for payment . But now because I couldn’t take the bullying anymore she will no longer be my child care .
I didn’t just randomly blow up btw I was picked on and she was relentless and I just couldn’t anymore .
I found temporary childcare for today sense I had to work . A long time friend was my hero today ! While I was at work my husband and his parents got into it .
Basically I’m a horrible mom ( even tho I’m not ) . I never let me 18 month old out the room so I’m horrible ( even tho I don’t go outside of my room due to passive aggression) or I just take him outside . My 9 year old sneaks snacks in the morning and I’m a bad mom for that . I apparently “make faces “ when all I do is avoid them . So how do they see my face ? So I’m horrible for apparently having a face lmao . So on and so forth .
My husband basically told his parents that they don’t have to see the kids ( 10yrs old and 18 months ) if they can’t fix the issues both between her and I and her and him . His dad responded with “okay fine do it “
And now I’m trying to find an apartment urgently so we can hopefully move within 2-3 weeks into a place we can afford.
Anyways I’m so scared this lady might call cps on me once I move out or even play grand parents rights cards. I’m so scared my kids will be taken away cause this lady is so hell bent on hating me .
She’s been a bully for 11 years , for 11 years I’ve mostly stayed quiet or at minimum for the past 4 . I’ve only blown up really bad once since moving here .
What do I do ? I’m out of childcare , trying to scrabble to find housing and then worried about the what if this gets worse .
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First off, your children will not be taken away. You are a good mom, and going by what MIL thinks is a bad mom, that isn’t enough to get the kids taken.
Reach out to your welfare office and see what can be done in terms of affordable housing. Also see about getting food stamps to help ease the cost. (I’m not implying you need them just saying the help is there if you do)
Look up reactive abuse. That might explain a lot of what’s going on here.
I wouldn’t stress too much about CPS. If she calls, they will have to follow up, but as long as your place isn’t filthy and you have food, you’re fine.
For grandparents’ rights: this is heavily location dependent. But as long as you’re still allowing them to see the kids from time to time (or at least offering), they don’t really have grounds to sue for visitation. I don’t think they can get rights just because they don’t like the terms under which you are allowing visits.
Record every interaction. I’m not sure where you live and what grandparents rights they could claim, but in some states in the USA and other countries I have heard the grandparents being rewarded visitation like one weekend a month unsupervised or something because the parents used them for childcare and the grandparent made a case that they were needed in the child’s life. I am not a lawyer, I am just basing off of other stories I have read. Everywhere is different. Look up if where you live you only need one person to be aware they are being recorded for it to be used. If she tries to go for rights and you have videos of how they are treating you then that will help in your favor.
You and your husband need to stop blowing up at them. From now on you only speak to them if you need to and you work on getting tf out of there. They very well could record you guys yelling at them.