so i, (18f), have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (18m) for about 5 months now, he is currently completing a project of his that he has been working on which is his new music album. i am very supportive of him because he has a lot of talent in this field and i always want to show him that i am interested in what he is interested in.
today, we got into a bit of an argument which in the end turned into a constructive and healthy discussion about effort in the relationships and what we both expect, and we discovered that he has been really hyperfixated on his project and has been letting the relationship take a backseat while he works on finishing it up. this is not on purpose as he describes it as being difficult to manage two important aspects of his life at a time.
i do not blame him for this because i know that it is how his brain is wired to work, but we both have agreed that we need to find a way to create some kind of healthy balance between the music, and spending time with one another because it has led him to not realise that there is a lack of affection that he is showing me and it is making me feel neglected. we both really care about one another and want to make it work with each other so a breakup is not an option.
what would your advice be on how we can keep a healthy balance between this hobby and each other?
tldr: advice needed to help me and my boyfriend who struggles to navigate balancing time with hyperfixation and time spent together
Comments
As I told you the last time you posted this:
> so a breakup is not an option.
yes, it is. Breaking up is always (and is often the best) option.
What are you doing to address your neediness and clinginess outside of making your boyfriend feel bad he’s not spending all his time with you? Do you have a job? Go to school? Have hobbies of friends?