So my friend’s sibling is notorious for being late, never responds to texts/calls etc. And everyone in their family just “accepts” them for it… but they are literally a grown adult… kind of gets to a point where it’s obvious they expects everyone to understand that they are on their “own time”. So we are starting to realize not to include them in plans or want to even want to make plans with them. It’s obvious too they ignore texts or have selective texting because they would text other people… and when asked about; “didn’t you get the message” they just completely lie to your face… what’s worse is this person is an ADULT. I feel bad for my friend who keeps trying to reach out to them to make them feel included… but they are grown and way too old to be treated like this.. it’s EXHAUSTING.
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Feel free to include them, but say you won’t wait and follow through. Meet at one place then leave to do whatever. Then stand firm when they get upset. Rinse and repeat.
Other than ADHD type diagnosis, some people’s perception of time is different from normal. 10 minutes feels like 5 to them.
The typical correction to people like this is, if you want them included, you always give them an adjusted time. Dinner at 5:30? Tell them 5.
At some point grow a pair and tell them to grow up or fuck off.
Being late is one thing – but they should at least have the courtesy to phone or text. Start without them
Have you had this conservation with them?
I’m very old school about this because I know perfectly well that if they would get a million dollars to be on time, they’d damn sure be on time.
The fact that they aren’t means that whoever’s waiting on them and/or the activity are simply not important enough for them to prioritize above all the distractions that can make them late.
I would probably tell them that I will not accept them being late again and if they are, I will not be inviting them to future events. No shame, not anger, simple and direct. Whoever doesn’t like it can host their own events and invite all the tardy people they want to invite.