Hey y’all, I really need some help on getting myself to eat.
I don’t have an eating disorder. There are just several reasons I don’t eat, or forget to eat. But I’m at a point where it’s gotten so bad, that the other day I had to call off of work because I woke up too weak to get out of bed.
I’m not looking to work against my difficulties in eating. Moreso looking to life hack it, until I’m at a better place for it.
Reasons I don’t eat:
- I don’t have time- mainly in the mornings or at work
- I’m stressed- a lot of this lately, as my job has limited my hours to the bare minimum of 30 (before breaks are taken out) in retaliation for calling the police after a customer threatened my life. Also I’m American
- I’m depressed, anxious, or manic
- I’m doing literally anything
I can get myself to eat something if I’m snacking- but not really anything that helps with protein (I hate jerky and slim jims; cheese less cubes/ sticks only help for so long)
I can get myself to eat sugar: candy or cookies, stuff like that. But fast food doesn’t really work.
I do cook and eat dinner every day- and I have pre-made chilling portioned out and frozen, if I need it that day.
I can eat if I’m distracted by a TV show or movie, but anything more than that and I forget about my food all together. This only really helps on a day off or in the evening.
For stress: I’ve had a lot of mental health difficulties, that have made it hard to productively socialize (I’m an extrovert who unknowingly/ unintentionally has made people uncomfortable). I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve actually made my first friend in 24 years. My family caused the mental health issues, so none of them can safely be in my life. And I just got a dog, who makes me really happy. So I’ve got a growing social network, it’s just very limited. But it’s finally there!
Some days though, I just can’t find something I’ll let myself eat. I grew up on PB&J, but sometimes I just can’t do it.
Any thoughts? I’d like to figure out how to life hack this, at least for a little while.
Comments
How do you feel about protein shakes? When I was working full time, we had lunch provided but I’d often work late into the evening and didn’t always want to order take-out so I bought a dozen protein shakes to keep in the fridge.
Protein shakes for the time being, maybe?
I think you need to look into free mental health resources to get yourself more support through therapy. Stress to the point of not eating to this degree is incredibly extreme and concerning.
Outside of that, maybe try to pair eating with specific activities like you do with TV. Like every time you take your dog for a walk you bring along a protein bar, or every time you drink a glass of water you eat a handful of nuts, etc.
You could also try setting alarms on your phone to remind yourself, but you will have to build the discipline to do that.
Also, I’m not a doctor or nutritionist, so keep that in mind, but imo you should prioritize eating anything at all over nothing. So if you can’t get yourself to eat a sandwich but can get yourself to eat a cookie, eat the cookie. Not getting enough calories is really unhealthy long term. You can always add variety, but the volume is a high priority too.
Have easy and nutritious snacks on hand. I keep some at work, too. Yogurts, nuts, granola/protein bars, carrots, hummus, etc.
I struggle with this too. I buy a lot of protein shake things that I can just take out of the fridge and drink. It gives me some protein and helps fill me up. I get uncrustables and carry those around. I look for easy things that are the simplest to assemble when I’m really feeling down.
Drink protein shakes. Sometimes chewing is too much. It’s fast, can be done anywhere. Gets your calories and protein in.
Have you considered using an app for reminders and little dopamine hits?
I used the Finch app when I was going through a rough time. The stress/grief/anxiety/depression just got in the way of doing basic things like eating meals or even washing my face.
If you grew up in the 90s, it’s kind of similar to the Tamagotchi toys… except you set daily goals and mark them off as you go. You get energy points and “rainbow stones” for your bird for the goals you complete. It was really helpful for me.
It’s a cute app. I still use it even though I’m in a better mental space. It’s helpful as a To Do list so I don’t have to store everything in my brain.
Sending you hugs! I hope you’re able to find something that works for you.
r/finch is a sub for users of the app. I think the developers view thar sub so if you need help or have questions, you can get answers there.
I find mukbang and food review videos to be very helpful before and during eating, especially when I have no appetite due to stress. Something about watching someone else eat tells my brain it’s safe to stop running from the sabre tooth tigers. Same when you’re busy, it’s hard to transition from go go go to trying to eat, your body doesn’t want to slow down to digest. Maybe doing relaxation techniques before meals would help.
Can you drink your calories? Like whole milk, or better yet chocolate milk? Just put it in an insulated cup (like it’s coffee) and drink it all day long.
We had this issue with our 17 year old – it was a real struggle to get him to eat, and he was 20 lbs underweight. We basically had to train his body to be hungry again but scheduling time to eat and slowly increasing the amount of calories he was eating at each snack/meal. Eventually he started being more hungry and was able to eat more without the constant reminders.
I always turn to smoothies when I don’t want to eat. I get anxious or stressed thinking I don’t have time. It takes five minutes and I do have that time. Fruits, greens, whole milk, full fat yogurt, protein powder peanut butter. When my stomach is saying “ew, food,” I always do a smoothie
Boost shakes are pretty healthy, but any good protein or meal replacement shake. Not the losing weight ones. But they are expensive.
Do you have smart tech at home, like Google Home or something, can you give yourself alarms and reminders?
Chocolate milk or other higher calorie things can help too.
> I don’t have time- mainly in the mornings or at work
Do you bus or drive to work? Some kinda pre-made grab this and run out the door food could help.
Personally, I like egg cups made in those mini tart shells. Literally just mix eggs and meat or veggies up, put them on sheet pan, pour in, bake. They are easy to shove several in a ziplock baggie for lunch or breakfast and devour on your 90 second boss refuses to give me an actual break piss break.
Investing in some microwaveable quick foods (think pizza pockets) could also help. Is it great, no, but you need some food.
I ate a ton of deli or cheese slice sandwhiches as a kid. I’d suggest those as go tos cause fast to make.
Rotisserie chicken + salsa + wraps + chopped veggies is my go to easy struggle meal, but sounds like a bit more effort rn.
When I’m too heartbroken to eat- smoothies. Usually too upset/unmotivated to make one, so I’ll cave and shell out the $10 to get one out
I understand, I am the exact opposite of a stress eater. What helps me a lot when I’m in this mode is better snacking. Check out recipes for protein balls, there are tons of options to make them both just healthy or to satisfy some of your not-so-great cravings while also packing good stuff that will give you lasting energy, and they are super graze-able and really quick and easy to make (how easy varies by recipe, of course).
Lots of people have suggested protein drinks, which can be super helpful. I also like smoothies to get in more fruit and/or veg along with some good protein from yogurt or milk. If I’m really running low on calories I’ll pop in a scoop of vanilla ice cream for a tasty and fattening treat. My dad used to give me milkshakes when I wasn’t hitting calorie goals, I can always always talk my body into a milkshake.
Also, low-sugar muffins sweetened with fruit and with added hemp hearts pack a nice dose of protein and omegas 3 & 6 into something your brain registers as the junk it will accept. But that’s a whole baking project, so start with the east stuff. I love the protein balls for that.
“Fed is best” applies to adults sometimes, too. Be kind to yourself, try and get into eating a little something more regularly so you have the energy to eat and make food, and it’s okay to distract yourself if that gets you fed. Therapy would be excellent, but you need calories either way.
I’m sorry you are struggling and hope this gives you some new ideas to start with.
When I was trying to lose weight and force myself to est better, I weighed a serving of pasta (often an enriched with protein/fiber kind), tossed in frozen veggies at the end, and if I’d moved around a lot that say tossed on some shredded cheese.
It didn’t always taste great so I’d put on a show I liked and mindlessly much until the bowl was empty.
Set the table and eat dinner with your dog? As in, have a meal when your dog has a meal.
I empathize with struggling to eat and I’m sorry you’re going through that! I recommend snacking and grazing rather than feeling like you need to sit and eat three meals a day. I typically eat one legit meal a day, usually dinner with my husband, and then just snack/graze otherwise.
One thing that massively helped me was snack plates. I look at them as DIY lunchables. I know you said you get tired of meat/cheese, but let me start there. My rough math to put something together is protein (salami slices are my fav, but really whatever you have… Sliced lunch meat, chicken/turkey strips, pepperoni, etc etc) + cheese + crackers + fruit + veg (and dip if I’m feeling it) + dessert (a cookie or two, a fun size candy, etc). I can make it ahead of time if I want to and just arrange everything into a Tupperware and pull it out when I’m feeling peckish. Sometimes just having it there and within easy reach when I’m working or watching TV helps because I can snack over some time rather than sit and “eat a meal” at a specific time.
Yogurt is another good option (protein + sweetness) – I particularly like Greek yogurt. Yogurt is also a good base for smoothies if you’re into those.
If you like eggs, boiled eggs are easy to make ahead and just peel and eat when you’re hungry.
I will bulk buy trail mix (or things to diy a trail mix if there’s a nut allergy concern) and portion them out into snack sizes (I have small 4-oz mason jars that I use for this) for easy grab and go.
Set an alarm every for every 3 hours and have nutritious snacks on hand. Make yourself eat a couple hundred calories at each alarm.
Some ideas:
Apple and cheese, banana and nuts/nut butter, protein shake (I like Fairlife), seasoned chicken breast, hummus and carrots, cottage cheese with pineapple, yogurt and berries, deli slices
Other people are giving good advice already. If you want a laugh though, look up the TikTok “dinosaur time” bc I’m strongly considering doing this myself to get my greens in.
Since sugar treats are doable for you, try protein treats. I’m literally eating one right now. The ones I’ve been getting lately are called magic spoon protein treats. They’re like rice Krispy treats kinda. I like the double chocolate ones. Bonus: they’re actually very low in sugar. But yeah, I try to do a protein shake in the morning, and a protein bar or treat sometime throughout the day, and then any other additional snacks I can grab easily. Also I try to keep a selection of snacks in my desk drawer at work, as well as something in my purse. That way I always have food available if the thought crosses my mind and I can just eat before I get distracted.
Girl dinner. Instead of making a sandwich , put the components on a plate and eat them like that.
Get pre cooked chicken, shrimp rings, pre cooked ham etc, anything you don’t have to work for but can eat pretty quickly, hot or cold, with pretty much anything.
But protein bars and keep them on hand.
Buy baby apple sauces packets and snack on those. Easy, no mess.
See if there’s a meal delivery option near you with pre-cooked meals, so all you have to do is heat it up.
Buy food you actually like to eat instead things you don’t.
I’ve been there. Here’s what I would do.
Start looking for a new job. My anxiety was so sky high that it caused vomiting and cut my appetite off. I was living off meal replacement shakes and air. I dropped down to 113lbs. Don’t do this to yourself. No job or circumstance is worth it.
Start scheduling your meals. It will be tough in the beginning but will help you in the long run. Your energy comes from food.
Blood work asap. Talk to your doctor regarding this.
Soup, whole milk, ice cream. I’ve had several bouts of depression and anxiety and I had to force myself to eat. Typically “wet” foods were easier. Pasta packets with seasoning, full sugar soda. Gummy bears. Basically ate like garbage but whatever I could do to get calories down.
To start, switch your snacks to more nutritionally dense foods. Chobani yogurt shakes, protein shakes, bars, quest chips. Don’t worry about what’s healthy from a processed perspective just yet, just start eating.
Once you’re ready, you just need to hack the cooking process until it feels effortless. I have 2-4 meals that are one pot that take 15 minutes and are so mindless I don’t even know I’m cooking. Systems only work if they’re easy.
Don’t push yourself too hard at first, just fill your fridge and pantry with complete snacks that you think are tasty.
Honestly, this might not be compatible with your mental health struggles, but I live in a legal state and I use cannabis to give myself the munchies so I can eat more. A product with less THC and more CBG might give you this effect without getting you too stoned. Obviously doesn’t help during work hours, though.
Hi I have the same issue sometimes, currently in a similar situation. What helped me was being told “the right food to eat is whatever you can eat”. If you can only bring yourself to eat cookies, get some peanut butter cookies or Oreos and dip them in milk and drink the milk. If you can only eat childhood comfort foods like nuggets or Mac n cheese, get the new brand Goodles that is Mac n cheese with protein, or your choice of nuggets. If you can only stomach a candy bar get a snickers which has some protein in it. Don’t force yourself to try to eat what you think you’re supposed to eat, eat whatever you can stomach.
I’ve been starting every morning with a smoothie that has: strawberries, spinach, pineapple, peanut butter, vanilla yogurt and beat powder. Sounds like a weird combo but it’s sweet and a nice color so it goes down easy
Congrats on the new doggie! Pets are so wonderful. Proud of you internet stranger for growing your social network.
One of the signs of unmanaged ADHD for me was forgetting to eat a lot.
Some people swear by baby food. You don’t have to prep it, some of it tastes good, and there’s little fuss and muss. It gives me the ick, so I just can’t. It may work for you though, just to make sure you’re getting more sustenance in your day.
Batch cooking on the weekend if you have more time and motivation.
My low energy expenditure shake in the morning: powdered peanut butter, frozen blueberries, and almond milk or whatever milk you like. You can adjust and add ingredients to it and play around with it if you like.
Water + propel electrolyte packets – keep a jug of this in your fridge. You can drink on it because even if you don’t feel like eating sometimes, making sure you don’t dehydrate is important(!) for your heart to work properly. Prepare this at night so you can at least have a travel bottle of it to get your day off right.
On the morning routine, if you can wake earlier and look at it as an hour of “me” time like pamper and prep, dedicating it to calmness, distressing and having a tea ritual or something and maybe working up to being able to have a breakfast, that may help.
Easy salad: rotisserie chicken from the grocery, your choice of greens, olive oil, salt and pepper. Sprinkle parmesan if you want.
Yes, eating a balanced diet with adequate protein and fiber is best, but if it’s eating junk or waking up too weak to work, eat junk, or find foods that are easy snacking foods.
For mornings, have things on hand that don’t require effort, or can be eaten while doing something else. I eat yogurt, toast, or a protein bar while my dogs eat. When they eat, I eat.
Maybe try to reframe the purpose for eating? Instead of “I’m too busy to eat” try “eating now will make sure I have energy to accomplish everything I need to do today.”
I wonder what makes you feel that dinner is worth doing “properly” but not other meals. Could you buy pre made meals like frozen lasagna and pizza and make that and portion I out for the week in the fridge? What about setting reminders for yourself? Would you be able to get bloodwork done? Maybe there’s another reason.
This video really helped me. Basically, make and stock different foods in preparation for your different energy levels. On the days you literally can’t make food, pop a frozen meal in the microwave.
I get this way sometimes. I usually have Soylent on hand- quick, easy, drinkable. I also munch on protein bars (Kind banana peanut is my go-to right now). I’ve been eyeing Huel savory mixes for lunch too, but that takes more time than a Soylent.
I struggled with the same issue for a very long time. What helped me the most was:
Figuring out my optimal mealtimes. Through trial and error I realized once I have my first meal I need to eat every 3 hours. Now I know from habit building when I need to eat when I look at the time. Even if I’m not feeling super hungry yet I know I should eat. I used to set alarm reminders but don’t need to anymore.
Removing decision fatigue about food. I have certain meals that I really like eating and hyper fixate on so I literally will just eat those same things everyday for breakfast and lunch. I also sometimes make a big batch of something and eat it for every single meal until it runs out lol
Ordering my groceries. I have a core list of things I order every week and generally make/ have the same thing for breakfast and lunch everyday. This makes it easy to have a system/routine around core meals that requires little to no thinking. Ordering groceries also makes it easy to order snacks and other things so that I always have something on hand without having to think about it. I’ll even order stuff from the premade / hot food section to have a couple quick meals on hand.
I’ve had a habit of reading while eating since I was young so I’ll always go on Reddit or watch TikTok’s or a YouTube video while eating also. I have certain YouTubers I’m subscribed to that I like watching and make 20-30min videos so it’s easy to just open it up and easily find a video to watch while I eat.