Just looking for some advice really. I have in the last year moved in with my partner (Me, F28, him M39, been together 4 years). He has is own home that he has a mortgage on. When I moved in we agreed that I would pay half the bills, food etc but not the mortgage as if we split I would lose that money and he wouldn’t. I really want to pay my fair share and not freeload, so I am conflicted about whether I should or shouldn’t be contributing towards the mortgage.
In fairness with the shifts we work, I end up buying most of my own food anyway, as we’re rarely together to eat, so the food money I send him is not used for us.
He’s also talked about selling the house, but wants to do up the bathrooms and a few bits first. I don’t know if I am meant to contribute to those costs, as the sale of the house benefits him solely, but the renovations benefit me at the moment. Thoughts on whether I should be contributing to the mortgage and renovations to the house? Fyi I have tried to discuss this with him, but he just says he doesn’t know what’s the “norm” in this situation either. I have also never been in this situation.
TL;DR unsure whether to contribute to boyfriends mortgage, as if we spilt, I don’t benefit.
Comments
Unless he’s adding you to the deed I don’t think you should be contributing to the mortgage until you’re married. Nor to any renovations of the home, if you two break up you would have 0 to show for any of that.
If it’s been 4 years are you guys thinking of marriage? Where does that stand?
There are a number of ways to look at this. First, you should not be paying anything toward the renovations; those are being done to increase the salability of the house, which you have no stake in.
I do believe you should be paying some amount of rent, however. A fair amount might be half of your previous rent. That way neither of you feels taken advantage of. He gets some compensation for your living in his home, and you get a cheaper rent than you would have elsewhere. You can put the difference into a savings account for your own further home purchase.
Your current arrangement seems fine to me.
Actually seems quite favourable to you as you don’t need to pay rent!
And no you should of course not be contributing to any improvements to HIS house that HE owns
Imo it’s fair if you pay him rent. Exact amount is something for you to work out, but should be roughly equivalent to what you would pay if you were living somewhere else with a roommate. Otherwise he is essentially giving you free housing, and yeah he’s building equity on the house but at the same time you’re saving all that money you would pay in rent and he’s not gonna see a dime of it if you split.
He should 100% cover renovations costs since it’s his house.
When you’re married, you’re on the deed, etc it’s a different story. But right now you’re freeloading.