Me 27m and my gf 28f been together seven years at the beginning it was very rocky and we split up a few times, but altogether we’ve been together seven years not to say we haven’t had issues with certain stuff like sex life and us arguing another stupid stuff but the other day I woke up and realised I’ve lost the spark I don’t feel like I’m in a relationship?. I feel like I’m living with my mate and I don’t know what to do. I can’t live without her but on the other hand, there’s nothing there anymore spark wise i still love her but Every time I try and talk to her about us it always end up in us arguing from both sides. I’m not saying It’s all her fault
but my head is a mess im going to stay in a hotel tonight to clear my head
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I’m 29F and my husband is 32M and we’ve been together 7 years and definitely feel like the spark is gone.
I’m in the same situation so not in the position to give advice but I think the best advice I’ve seen (which I’ve not tried) seems to be to start a hobby together or learn a language together, get into a PlayStation game together (I recommend it Takes Two which is a co-op game that both of you can play)
if you only end up arguing all the time, there is no point staying together, find a better girlfriend who matches you better. Let that lady go.
Sometimes love turns into comfort, and comfort is not always passionate, but it can still be deeply valuable.
You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Just be honest with her and yourself when you are ready.
It’s okay to feel lost. What matters is that you are giving yourself space to find clarity instead of forcing a fix.
I feel like it’s normal to feel like you’ve lost the ‘spark’ after many years together. Love can be kind of fickle, which is why respect, friendship, and commitment is so important in long term relationships.
The good news is you can find that spark again! I’d suggest to start dating each other again. Make that time to be present with each other and really talk to each other. Find something fun and exciting that you can do together, like a new hobby or taking a trip together. Do things to try and woo each other again, e.g., compliments, flowers, love notes. Flirt with each other. Sext each other. Make out. All that stuff you did at the start of your relationship but don’t really do any more. You could also find new ways to spice up your relationship.
The grass is greener where you water it. If you love your gf and see a future with her, then you both need to start putting that effort in again. You’ll have to do all that kind of stuff if you started dating someone new, so why now do it now with your current partner?
This is the real love
Ive been in similar wituation. 32M, 26F. Lost the spark, said it out loud, she wanted kids immediately and tought kids will save ur relationship. Of course i said no. I just stopped somehow, and realized i am living my a person who is my partner and it feels like we are just roommates.
I left.
Of course i think about her a lot, since that happened a month ago. But at the end, I know something better is wqiting for me somewhere.
I am happy single now, not looking for anyone.
Is spark just dopamine that stops releasing because it’s no longer a shiny new object? Surely there’s that can be at play as well. Maybe it’s time to get to know each other again. Ask her a feel questions. How is your sex life? What’s good what’s bad how can we improve? The list goes on but I’m sleepy goodnight
Honestly I know I’m going to get down voted but I suggest maybe considering an extra marital affair. It might remind you about what you have at home or it might excite you to try other things
Get the spark back or move on, its very normal BTW after being together so long. The fact you think of her as mates is a bonus because I couldn’t imagine being with my husband if we weren’t best friends. Sex fades away when you’re older, would she look after you if got ill or old? That’s the real answer. Things like sex are good while you’re young but very basic surface level stuff.
You can live without her. It’s that straight forward. If you don’t feel the same, don’t put her, or yourself, of dragging this out because it’s comfortable. That’s much worse in the long run than the initial pain or breaking up and moving on.