I (f29) didn’t expect to feel this way.
It wasn’t the first time I’d slept with someone I was dating, but with Jonah (m30)… it felt different. More intense. More real. We laughed over wine, tangled in each other for hours, and afterward, he held me like I was something precious.
But now it’s two days later, and I haven’t heard a word from him.
I keep replaying everything in my head. Was I too eager? Too emotional? I opened up to him not just physically, but emotionally, too. I thought he was doing the same.
And now I’m stuck in that weird space where I don’t want to seem clingy, but I need to know:
Did I misread everything? Did sex change how he sees me? Should I wait for him to reach out… or ask the hard question myself?
I’m scared the answer might hurt, but the silence hurts more.
What do you do when intimacy feels like it created a bond, but the other person acts like it didn’t mean anything?
Comments
The answer probably is you read too much meaning into it and went all in emotionally. Do you have unhealed attachment trauma from childhood? Usually these types of instant connections are due to the person feeling familiar.
May I please ask how long did you know him before you had sex with him?
I can then offer some observations about his behavior and what you might want to do in response.
Sex is the consummation of a relationship, not the starting point.
And premature sex will almost always lead to the collapse of same.
Have you reached out at all? I think sometimes they just get busy with responsibilities. It would be too bad if it didn’t work out but also if the other person didn’t feel the same connection you did, maybe it’s better to know early on? I know the doubt feeling and it can suck. But I would suggest sending a text or something and asking how their day is going and if they reply, maybe ask to hangout again next time they are available.
Maybe, he got fed up waiting for sex and got a side piece, and maybe the side piece became more important to him than you. It could be your timing was just wrong.
Hey OP Text him once in the most direct way possible, if he replies you get your answer. If not carry on with your day and forget it (you still got your answer in a way) do not entertain him later be firm with your boundaries.
Always remember ‘if they wanted, they would’
Ya’ll have been supposedly ‘dating’ for 6 months? And he hasent replied after two days after yall finally did the do? Girl be honest with yourself. Were you just a Conquest in his eyes?
He’s overwhelmed and anxious and questioning his own perceptions. He’s replaying it all in his head, too.
The connection was real. You were a very pleasant surprise…a gulp of cool water after months in the desert.
He’ll be back shortly. I guarantee it.