*Edit: Fucked up the title. I’m 100% gonna try to date this woman SERIOUSLY, even if she is crazy. *

Hey guys, I’m not dead in a ditch! I was the guy who made the post about being attracted to a sociopath. Well, ever since that day we suggested we tried being together, I took it.

Now, our relationship dynamic has been made very clear. She calls me her “pet”, saying stuff like “you’re my favorite pet I’ve had”. She has a hard time feeling genuine love and connection, but she also said “I don’t want someone else to have my pet the same way you wouldn’t want someone to have your dog.” So, that’s progress. She does care, just, her style per se is different. She’s very gentle with me physically, she laughs with me, she plays games with me, we watch movies, we cook, and she looks visibly calmer and more docile when I’m with her. Now, we are only a few days in, and we are still learning, but something happened today that really made my heart flutter.

We were laying in bed just kind of talking. No topic in particular, just bullshitting like you would with your friends. Well, she randomly started to get a little touchy. I slid it off as “eh she’s probably just being dorky” but then she touched me a particular way and I jerked away a little. She looked at me a little confused and I just laughed and said,

“Alex (fake name) you don’t do that stuff immediately in a relationship.”

“Why not? It looks good on video (she watches porn per my last post). I want to try it myself.”

“Well you’re suppose to wait to do that with someone. You have to have more of a bond and connection, you know?”

“Why would we need a bond?”

“Because it’s a romantic gesture, especially if it’s your first time.”

“What’s romantic about it? At its core, its only use is to reproduce. It looks fun on video, and when I do it myself it feels good. Therefore, I wanna try it with someone else.”

“I promise, with a romantic bond, the love and passion put into it makes it better. Just wait.”

She kinda stared at me for a moment, and I’m not gonna lie, I was worried I upset her, but she smiled and just said “Well, if you think it will be better that way, then sure.”

My heart fluttered. I know she doesn’t mentally understand what I mean, but she listened to me and showed me she does care about what I think, so I’m not just a “pet”. If she really thought that, she wouldn’t have cared, but she did. But what happened next made my heart flutter more. We did cuddle a bit, and she said “this feels nice, so I’m happy.”It made me feel like maybe she isn’t a sociopath. She’s feeling happiness, and i believe it created a deeper connection. What if she’s just really messed up from her childhood? She’s told me some things about it, but she doesn’t like discussing the topic. Sure she’s diagnosed, but what if it’s wrong? Could a real sociopath feel that way?

I feel happy and content, but maybe I’m just a fool who’s trying to make excuses to justify what I’m doing. Maybe I’m the mentally messed up one, I don’t know. All I know is, she made my heart flutter.