Hello all! I am going to try to make this as short as I can. I am 5 months postpartum. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and some, we got pregnant early on. The relationship as a whole took a drastic change when I got pregnant as if a switch went off in his head and he turned into a person I didn’t know. Throughout pregnancy and the newborn trenches we have been doing better.
(I know we got pregnant early on into our relationship. And it’s something that people will read and judge. But now I have a beautiful baby girl. Please no harsh degrading comments. I just need advice while navigating post partum and real life with a little girl.)
(Some background about my pregnancy)
Basically he would do certain things and blame it on his childhood to make it not seem as if it was completely wrong. EX: I was 9 months pregnant on my birthday. I just wanted to go to eat and walk around a few baby stores and go home. He did not want to go and stayed home all day. Then when I came back he was on his game. No gifts no nothing. Another thing, we had no ac at my house so he packed up his game and went to his mom’s house. I was hurt not understanding why and he would tell me I get you are the pregnant one but I am sacrificing a lot too.? His mother is another story as well.
Out of everything I’ve been through one thing I was sure he wasn’t going was looking at other women online. I 100 percent believed he wasn’t like that as he had claimed and put pride in. Since day one I have communicated to him that is just a dealbreaker for me. I have been through it before in my other relationship and it completely destroyed me.
The other night I saw everything in his phone. Him searching mutiple times very often girls twerking. Thick girls…. Girls known for their behavior online. We talked about it and he lied at first saying he didn’t but obviously he did and I just can’t help but to feel as if I’m settling if I stay. He told me he understands if I don’t want to try to work it out and he is regretting his actions. He also tried to say it’s because I neglect him sometimes emotionally and said it wasn’t anything physical? But we have been doing good. I just don’t know how to feel especially since I communicated to him since day one that it’s just something I don’t deserve. I just want to be the best example to my daughter. With all the body changes and emotional changes it’s been really hard to understand this. This started when I was 2 months pp is when I found the first search in his search history.
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>he turned into a person I didn’t know.
You didn’t know him.
Genuinely, it will be easier to just be a single mum.
You guys are both extremely young. All of his behaviours seems pretty typical tor a young guy and they all seem to be behaviours that can be worked on if he wants to work on them. If he recognizes where he needs to work and puts effort into it then I think you should give it some time. Having a baby is incredibly hard even on fully mature people.
Nope, and I encourage you to. My step mom doesn’t know, but my dad lusts over women online all the time. Always on the hub. In fact, he told both my brother and I before he got married to her that he thinks she’s really ugly and can’t really stand the idea of her in a sexual way. My step mom doesn’t know this, got out of a relationship with a man who lusted over women online all the time, and it got to the point her ex was trying to get on video, her sister in the shower. She believes she finally found a man who respects her boundaries about online things and he claims to her that he doesn’t do that stuff. She believes god sent her the perfect man for her. And I just don’t have the heart to tell her anything. + I don’t wanna ruin my relationship with my family, so I keep my mouth shut. However, all I can say as someone who has heard and seen a bit too much from one who does those things, get out now and I wish you the best of luck. You deserve better than that.
He went to his mom’s house to cool off and play his game and left his pregnant girlfriend alone in in a hot house with no ac, then tried to justify this? It would appear that he needs to grow up and see what’s really important. I’d leave him – no since in trying to raise two kids.