Yesterday someone left an anonymous note on my computer complementing me and signed off from “stranger” with a smiley face. It felt really weird and I just had a gut feeling something was off. I’m a 21F summer intern. This morning I started up my work day at my cubicle and everything was normal. Then I went to the lab a bit after and saw two more messages left for me. The first said “good morning! (Smiley face) I hope you have a joyful day!”. The second said “do you have a boyfriend? (Frowny face)” and also had two boxes labeled yes and no like I was supposed to check off my answer. I really hoped it was just innocent but I felt really freaked out like I was being watched and had no idea who left the notes. The one yesterday was left when I only stepped away for a little bit so they waited for me to leave to leave it. Idk a part of me feels like I’m overreacting and it’s harmless and I shouldn’t have said anything but I showed it to my manager cause I was feeling really uncomfortable in the lab and just wanted it on her radar. Am I making two much of this? It feels really creepy and stalker like. I talked to a few people about it and they were all very concerned. My manager was really upset (not at me) and she said it was unacceptable and she would get to the bottom of this. If it was innocent I don’t want anyone to get in trouble or be the girl that reports people over nothing. AITA?
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Yesterday someone left an anonymous note on my computer complementing me and signed off from “stranger” with a smiley face. It felt really weird and I just had a gut feeling something was off. I’m a 21F summer intern. This morning I started up my work day at my cubicle and everything was normal. Then I went to the lab a bit after and saw two more messages left for me. The first said “good morning! (Smiley face) I hope you have a joyful day!”. The second said “do you have a boyfriend? (Frowny face)” and also had two boxes labeled yes and no like I was supposed to check off my answer. I really hoped it was just innocent but I felt really freaked out like I was being watched and had no idea who left the notes. The one yesterday was left when I only stepped away for a little bit so they waited for me to leave to leave it. Idk a part of me feels like I’m overreacting and it’s harmless and I shouldn’t have said anything but I showed it to my manager cause I was feeling really uncomfortable in the lab and just wanted it on her radar. Am I making two much of this? It feels really creepy and stalker like. I talked to a few people about it and they were all very concerned. My manager was really upset (not at me) and she said it was unacceptable and she would get to the bottom of this. If it was innocent I don’t want anyone to get in trouble or be the girl that reports people over nothing. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I reported the messages to my boss and I think I might be TA because she said someone’s job might be in jeopardy for what they did. Apparently someone could get fired because of it.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA – Listen to your manager and everyone concerned for you. They’re concerned because this is concerning, full stop. Whoever the sender is, their intentions literally don’t matter because this is grossly inappropriate and unprofessional. They are taking advantage of the job setting to make unwanted advances towards you. And it could get dangerous for you, as it unfortunately does for too many women. r/whenwomenrefuse
NTA. It’s not nothing, it’s inappropriate, and if they think it’s innocent, they need to learn that it’s actually unpleasant.
This is behaviour by someone immature who doesn’t know how to strike up a normal conversation without being inappropriate, and thinks life is like anime.
Now that you have reported it, ideally they would consider their actions from your point of view and realise how unsettled they have made you feel.
More likely, though, they’ll be furious and report back to their MRA group about how “Men can’t say anything anymore!!!” and still not know how to strike up a normal conversation without being creepy.
NTA, trust your gut on this one
the frowny face on “do you have a boyfriend” is HELLA creepy
NTA That’s both inappropriate and creepy. Making it anonymous makes it even worse.
You were right to report it. You not only protected yourself, you potentially protected others from being harassed in a similar way. Stop questioning yourself. The only person who did anything wrong is the creepy asshole who sent those notes.
NTA! Creepy note dude needs to learn to say hi and not hide in the shadows (shadows of a sticky notepad)
NTA
NTA
In what possible way would you be the AH in this situation?
You shouldn’t feel unsafe at work. You shouldn’t feel unsafe anywhere honestly. But the point remains. Whoever is doing this is creepy and unprofessional. Like if you are at a bar or a club and someone asks “Hey do you have a boyfriend” that’s one thing, but not at your goddamn job.
F that noise. Report anyone who does this shit.
Major NTA. As women, we’re socialized to believe that kind of attention is flattering and that we should be grateful, and that any negative reaction to it is an overreaction. As someone 18 years your senior, I am here to tell you not to listen to that voice that says “maybe this was just an innocent thing and I’m making too much of it.” Because guess what? Even if it is (and that’s a big “even”), it’s both wildly inappropriate in a professional setting and it made you uncomfortable. Neither of those things should be ignored.
NTA. You’re doing the right thing by talking to the manager. A have a nice day note is fine. An are you dating someone note is not okay and the behavior is not acceptable in that space. I wouldn’t turn it into the thing everyone in the office chats about though. You’ll understand that better the more time you spend in professional spaces. Talk to the people you need to to get the support you need.
NTA that’s weird behavior for an adult and inappropriate in the workplace.
NTA, this is not acceptable professional behaviour suitable for a workspace. Awkward/lack of social norms or not, this crosses a line IMO.
NTA, it feels creepy because it IS CREEPY!!! This is unprofessional and inappropriate even if done with the best of intentions (which I am doubtful of)