My girl and I are having a baby. We have been back together for most of the pregnancy.
I just found out that’s she was fucking another guy the same time we hooked up (conception). AITA for telling her that she needs to notify him that she is pregnant and that if she doesn’t I will. She swears it’s mine and could not possibly be his. I do plan to get a paternity test done. Am I in the wrong for telling her she needs to notify him of her pregnancy?
AITA (30M), (25F) notice of pregnancy
r/AITAH
Comments
I’d do the paternity test first before I told anyone. The lord involvement the better. If it’s not yours then she can tell him and they can figure it out while you find someone else
You’re not wrong he deserves to know and you deserve the truth
Not the asshole
She should be ashamed of herself for what she has done and the fact that she wants to trap you with a baby that might not be yours that’s crazy tell her to tell that other guy she didn’t mind sleeping with him so she must suffer the consequences
No you’re not wrong. If there’s even a possibility someone else is the father, it’s the right thing to do. He needs to know ASAP. If he’s the father, it’s only fair that he gets some time to get used to the idea before the child is born.
Do the test, wait for the result. You can tell the guy about it or not. Doesn’t really matter I think. You should reconsider if you want to be in a relationship with her. If the baby’s yours, you have to take responsibility for it – whether you stay with her or not. If it’s not yours, just leave anyway.
I don’t think he needs to be notified, yet.
Just say ‘since finding out there is a possibility i might not be the father. I want a dna test. To be absolutely clear I will only support this child if it is mine.’
Then discuss if you would like in now or at the time of the birth.
In the event that the baby isnt yours its only fair he has notice this might be coming down the line, I think you should tell him!
You have all right to tell him
I think you should do the test before notifying him. Just not to bother him before you will find out the truth. Most likely it’s your child, so it is better to wait.
Anyway, you can tell him and should. I just suggest that later is better for him. And will not make an additional tie for him.
You were 38 5 months ago
NTAH, I get it. Even if let’s say it’s most likely yours. I think that it sucks for him to up and find out the day of the paternity test. You and the mom get months to prepare. He might get a day.
NTA. Don’t sign anything until a paternity test is done. Question: between you and the other guy, which of you is more financially secure? If she’s claiming it’s yours so strongly, she’s probably thinks she’ll be better off if it’s yours…or if she can convince you that’s it’s yours.
YTA. Wait until the kid is born and do a paternity test. If it’s yours, it’s yours. If not, then she has to notify the other guy. But why would you involve another person and all that drama when there’s a 50% chance it’s your kid?
You don’t have to wait to find out. If I understood it correctly there are ways to find out before. I believe you can do blood tests. I might be wrong. I don’t have 100% in Reddit posts but it’s worth checking it out. It might save you a bunch of wasted time if you find out that you’re not the father.
Do not sign the birth certificate until you get a paternity test. I could be his.
If it’s a possibility at this stage in the pregnancy, get a paternity test done now before involving anyone else. If you have to wait before a test can be done, best give the guy some notice either way. That being said, be prepared for the news that the kid is yours – i have a feeling from how you’ve written you would rather that it isn’t (wouldn’t blame you)
I think that is overkill at this point. If the paternity test shows that it is not yours, that is the time to notify the other guy.
I mean did he use protection? Did he cum inside her? If he didn’t use protection and finish inside of her then yes she should tell him. But otherwise, chances are the kid is yours. You can always get a DNA test done while she’s pregnant (it’s just a little expensive) if you’re worried about it. But I don’t think you’re the asshole if there’s an equal amount of chance that it could be either one of y’all’s and he should know.
I agree with the others stating to wait! No need to notify the other guy yet and missy then water until you know something for sure. Once you open that can of worms you will regret it. You are more than likely acting on emotion right now. Sit with it for a while and just wait.
DNA test will solve all issues
If she’s sure it’s yours and she was using contraception with him then wait to get a DNA test to prove it before notifying anyone else and causing possible stress and problems. If it ends up being his and she was lying then it’s up to her to notify him, although there is nothing stopping you. I think having found that out you’ll be upset and not thinking rational and making her notify someone who’s baby she’s sure it isn’t this early without evidence is maybe not the best thing all around at this point.
How does she know it could not be his if she was having sex with both of you during the same period of time? She is projecting who she wants it to be. Yes telling him will invite drama, but if it were you, would you want to know? Careful feels like she shopping for the best daddy.
You can get a non invasive paternity test done now. It takes a blood draw from mom but is costly around 1-2K. That way if it is not yours then the guy can be told he is a possibility once you are ruled out
Heard that story before . Is other guy some guy she doesn’t want to be the dad? Get that paternity test ASAP.
Why do you think he needs to be notified? If baby isn’t yours, then it’s up to her who she notifies.
Get STD and a paternity testing now. Then tell him. She cheated on you with him.
YTA. Do the test now. If you’re not the father, then the other guy needs to know.
Also, make sure you understand menstrual cycles and ovulation before thinking the other dude is a likely dad. If she’s so sure it’s you, she might be right. Don’t assume she’s just delusional and hoping it’s you.
DNA testing and don’t sign the birth certificate. You are off again/ on again. Unless something radically changes you will break again so if you are not the father in some places you may still be financially responsible.
That said. Children are a blessing and a loyal and loving woman can center your life, making everything you go through worthwhile. My wish for you is peace, love, and happiness. Good luck, bro.
You do not get a say in who else she notifies and does not. That’s her thing. I understand that you’re angry/upset but worry about yourself and your own paternity test. If those results come back negative then she’s can do whatever, but it’s not your battle to fight here.
You can have her take a blood test for paternity now and work out what to do from there
YTA. I think as of right now it’s not your place, it’s her decision. It may never be your place to tell him. Are you supporting this girl? Are you planning on staying with her for the duration of the pregnancy? Do you plan to stay with her after the kid is born?
It’s possible, regardless of the outcome, she doesn’t want this particular man involved in her life or with her child. While I don’t think that’s a good choice, it’s still her choice.
I will say I don’t think you should sign the birth certificate before dna test or marry her before the child is born. If you sign the birth certificate then you’re dad, you’ll be on the hook for child support. Depending on the state you live in, if you marry her before the baby is here, you could be considered the father. I forget if the marriage thing depends on during conception or not.
If you both were to notify this man now, what kind of drama will you be inviting into your life? What if he ends up not being the father after all? Then you just had to deal with this dude being involved with you both and caused him stress and possible heartache for no reason
It’s only a woman that can tell who the biological father of her baby is, unless she chooses to pin it on someone else.
If I were you, I would have to do the paternity test first before getting the other guy involved if it turns out that the baby isn’t mine.
If she says he can’t be the father, then you have no right to tell him anything. You wait until the child is born and do the paternity test, and take it from there.
PS: if the child is yours as she says, you will have severely damaged your relationship with her.
Don’t sign the AOP (acknowledgement of paternity) if you’re not sure the baby is yours. It’s much harder (need to go to court) to challenge it if you find out the baby isn’t yours, and you should not be on the hook for child support until age 18 unless you are truly committed to that idea regardless of what happens with you and the mother.
It sounds like you haven’t been back together long, I’d think long and hard about signing any documents that state you are the biological father, if you are not the biological father.
You have up until age 18 to sign the AOP, you have 60 days after signing to rescind.
https://www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/child-support/paternity/acknowledgment-paternity-aop
Hope it all works out how you’d like it to!
why invite drama?
you just want an excuse to confront the guy
your bigger problem is what to do about cheating POS baby mama
YTA. I can’t figure out any motive whatsoever for you to insist some guy needs to know your girlfriend is pregnant that isn’t about your feelings only. Definitely get a paternity test, but I don’t see why you want to drag some fling into it. Do you even know anything about him? If it’s his and you’ll dump her, does she even want the guy to know?
No just like a girl would tell a random guy she is pregnant and it might be his
The other guy need to be notify that it might be his as well… yea do the paternity test but also he needs to be inform that it might be his doesn’t matter what she thinks
Good luck to you
YTA Get a paternity test first and only involve him if he is rhe father.
YTA it’s non of your buisness who she tells. Get the paternity test before signing anything.
Info; is this the same girlfriend you posted about ages ago who is 8 years younger and you’ve already had a kid with? Did you abandon your first two kids and move 9 hours away with her and your first baby? Is her dad okay? Or is this the third woman you have impregnated?
Gonna need an update on this situation.
Do the test he doesn’t need to know unless yours comes back negative
No, she needs to do a paternity test. I don’t know why those aren’t required before a birth certificate application is filled out!
Non invasive paternity testing can be done in early pregnancy. Get the test now, then have her tell the other dude if it’s not yours.
You can do a paternity test while she is pregnant, they take fetal DNA from a blood sample from the mom, so it won’t harm the baby. Verify it is yours or his and figure it out then. Otherwise you bring drama in.
Paternity test. If it’s yours then you sort out child support and visitation and if it’s not you are off the hook. In any case it’s time to end this. NTA.