I recently just moved pretty far away from my home state & one of my best friends wants to come down to visit. I invited him, giving ideas for a 3 day/ 4 day/ 6 day stay. He finally got back to me that he was planning to book a one-way ticket to my place.
I told him I’d feel more comfortable if he booked a round trip instead, so we’d both know when he was coming and when he’d be heading back. My main concern is that a one way ticket might mean he wants to stay indefinitely and I’m not in a place to host someone long-term.
Since I said that, he hasn’t gotten back to me and now I’m wondering if I had crossed a line.
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I recently just moved pretty far away from my home state & one of my best friends wants to come down to visit. I invited him, giving ideas for a 3 day/ 4 day/ 6 day stay. He finally got back to me that he was planning to book a one-way ticket to my place.
I told him I’d feel more comfortable if he booked a round trip instead, so we’d both know when he was coming and when he’d be heading back. My main concern is that a one way ticket might mean he wants to stay indefinitely and I’m not in a place to host someone long-term.
Since I said that, he hasn’t gotten back to me and now I’m wondering if I had crossed a line.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I just wanted to know if I’m an asshole for inviting my friend down and pushing him to book a round trip ticket instead of a one way. My friend might see it as “you invited me down and now you’re taking that invite away”
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA Your “friend” was planning on moving in with you and hoping you wouldn’t kick them out. Calling out this “friend’s” choice to book a one way ticket was the best thing you ever did for yourself. They haven’t gotten back to you because they figured out they can’t stay with you indefinitely.
I don’t think you crossed a line — I think you drew one. And quite appropriately.
NTA
NTA.
It’s normal to want to know how long guests are staying so you can prepare.
It’s strange that he is being silent about this.
Does he have a history of this sort of thing?
Wtf books a one way ticket to someone else’s place??? NTA, I wouldn’t want anyone staying indefinitely either…
Yeah NTA and I think you’re reading the situation correctly. He seems like he’s planning on using your home as a more permanent residence than what you’re looking for. His behavior is rude
NTA. It was your friend that crossed the line. You just un-crossed it.
NTA
You have a boundary, and he wanted to cross it, you stood your ground. Good for you!!
Oh you crossed a line alright- the line to safety where you don’t end up with an freeloading roommate 😆 Don’t respond, just let your limited offer stand. NTA
NTA. Did you cross a line or dodge a bullet? My guess is the latter.
He hasn’t responded as he is now looking for housing elsewhere and your usefulness to him has ended. This isn’t a friend, it’s a con artist.
NTA and count it as a blessing he hasn’t got back to you.
Inviting yourself for an indefinite stay at a friend’s house then getting shitty when they’re not overjoyed at the prospect of providing you rent free living for eternity is terrible behaviour. What’s he even doing for work, because unless he works online, he has nothing lined up earn income during his stay. Let me guess.. he thinks you’re throwing board in with the room, all gratis.
Bottom line, you didn’t overstep, he did.. and his response to a polite no tells you everything you need to know.
You didn’t cross a line. He was attempting to cross a line by trying to stay indefinitely. You called him out on it. That is why you haven’t heard back from him.