My (former) friend swore at the lady working behind the counter at the cinemas, I apologised to the lady for my friend when I went to buy my ticket. This was a year ago. He brought this up out of nowhere after messaging me on Discord. He asked if I had any respect for him as an individual, in which I asked where this was coming from. He reminded me of the event where I apologised to the lady and said that I’m treating him like he’s stupid and unable to take care of himself. I responded with “I am a gentleman whether you like it or not,” by which point he blocked me on all socials. My friends were too asked if they respected him and are too confused by his actions. Personally I see him as NQR but I never told him this. In my eyes I see my decision as polite and the right thing to do in which my friends agree, but from your perspective am I the asshole?
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My (former) friend swore at the lady working behind the counter at the cinemas, I apologised to the lady for my friend when I went to buy my ticket. This was a year ago. He brought this up out of nowhere after messaging me on Discord. He asked if I had any respect for him as an individual, in which I asked where this was coming from. He reminded me of the event where I apologised to the lady and said that I’m treating him like he’s stupid and unable to take care of himself. I responded with “I am a gentleman whether you like it or not,” by which point he blocked me on all socials. My friends were too asked if they respected him and are too confused by his actions. Personally I see him as NQR but I never told him this. In my eyes I see my decision as polite and the right thing to do in which my friends agree, but from your perspective am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I apologised for a friend who swore at a woman.
2. Because my friend got angry for it and blocked me because I was “babying him”.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Needs more context. Have you and your friend slept together?
NTA. He did you a favor by blocking you. Keep it that way.
Mostly NTA, unless the lady did really offensive things to him (which probably not) what you did was correct. Your friend having anger to you of something that he did wrong does not make any sense.
Best thing for you is that you should move on if he did blocked you and is willing to never talk to you again.
But may I ask what the lady at counter did to him?
INFO: Why did he swear at the lady?
NTA, but you can’t really apologise ‘for somebody else’s bad behaviour’ – there’s not much more that you can do than distance yourself from said behaviour, and let the target know that you believe that your friend was out of line and ask if they are ok, and then later on talk to your friend and explain why you thought they were misbehaving.
Btw, your friend seems bent on proving that indeed he cannot take care of himself. But considereing that he has blocked you, he is no longer your problem.
For context why he swore at the lady. She told him that the frozen drinks machine wasn’t working. I wish I was lying. ;-;
NTA Apologize FOR him, loudly, make him uncomfortable, show him accountability. If more men held their friends accountable in these moments, the better the world would be for it.
Conteeeeeext please.
He’s kinda right and let me explain why.
“I’m a gentleman (…)” might have been seen as an attack and a statement that he isnt one. Well he isnt or just wasnt.
Anyway.
NTA.
Even if the lady was a c0nt, you didn’t know that.
What you did seems right, though the fact that you avoided answering questions about context is fishy.
Why did he swear at them?
Info: does this friend have any type of condition you’re not mentioning? (Tourette’s, autism, etc) I ask because he’s asking everyone about respect and mentioned concern that you (and others) treat him as if he can’t care for himself…
The behavior isn’t excused, but your reaction to his question may be judged differently based on this info. What about him seems NQR to you, other than this specific instance?
NQR? As someone who used to work in retail at a cinema- thank you. That job can be hard sometimes due to how shitty the public treat you