This all started when she left the country for a year to go back home. My aunt was very nice and had helped me with shelter when I was new to Canada and I was close to her. I was 18, I spoke english and she didn’t so I translated for her and helped her with documents.
Because she was leaving, she basically told me to find my own place (which I was doing anyways) and she rented out her home to some other family and not me. This led to a series of problems I had to fix lasting eight months.
Before I knew it, I was running her entire life in Canada, balancing a full time job, brother coming to Canada, business and soon school.
The problem started when these “tenants” ended up abandoning her house and she became late on payments. She was about to be evicted, I fixed it. In this time i was fixing her other “urgent” issues and every week getting dozens of spam calls at work (i told her to stop but she didn’t care).
I made a post on here a while ago about my aunt not getting her housing benefit and asking me to cover her rent. Back then I wasn’t living at her house but I was managing her entire life while she was back home. This included renting out her place to others i found on marketplace, checking her mailbox, calling her bank/city office, registering her kids etc.
My 17m brother came to Canada a month ago and I asked if we could stay at her empty house instead of my cramped studio. She required me to physically go by bus to check her mailbox every week or so due to important stuff so i figured this would fix our issues.
On the 28th she apparently didnt get her housing benefit for the month. She called me a billion times and I called her back, she was furious. This happened last month and I had no money to give and I said the same thing again.
Apparently she had called my mom earlier and complained about me not picking up and her rent stuff and my mom said I should leave her house and go to a homeless shelter if things aren’t working (my biggest fear on earth).
My aunt then sends me audios telling me really nasty stuff telling me basically to quit my job if I can’t even give her a couple thousand dollars and that she has no other resort except for me and I have no choice but to find the money and fix her problems and I tell her that I can’t help it and there’s no way I can get $1700+ in a span of three days as a 20 year old and she tells me to leave her house by October 1st in retaliation.
She then sends me an audio saying this isn’t working out and to answer a couple more emails for her and fix her problem THEN leave.
I found my mother’s reaction extreme and I blocked her for causing me meaningless stress.
I also didn’t respond to my aunt but I’m not about to fix her issues or answer any emails or do anything for her and I am going to find a new living situation with someone and then tell her to kick rocks.
Initially, I felt indebted to her but I’ve been doing so much unpaid labour and receiving so much harassment from her and this was not a part of our agreement so I feel like it’s unfair for her to force my poor self to fix her life from a broken place.
I felt like I was treated like an animal without consideration and I felt like no one cared about me as long as I wasn’t inconveniencing them.
AITA for standing up to both of them and refusing to pay them anything? Im still not sure if I am backing out of this too quickly or being unreasonable.
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I am 20f in Canada and my aunt is my closest family in Canada, she helped me when I was new a lot.
Fast forward she was going to leave the country for a year to go back home so she basically told me to find my own place, which I was doing anyways. She rented out her home to some other family and not me. They ended up abandoning her house and she became late on payments. She was about to be evicted, I fixed it. In this time i was fixing her other “urgent” issues and every week getting dozens of spam calls at work (i told her to stop but she didn’t care).
I made a post on here a while ago about my aunt not getting her housing benefit and asking me to cover her rent. Back then I wasn’t living at her house but I was managing her entire life while she was back home. This included renting out her place to others i found on marketplace, checking her mailbox, calling her bank/city office, registering her kids etc.
My 17m brother came to Canada a month ago and I asked if we could stay at her empty house instead of my cramped studio. She required me to physically go by bus to check her mailbox every week or so due to important stuff so i figured this would fix our issues.
On the 28th she apparently didnt get her housing benefit for the month. She called me a billion times and I called her back, she was furious. This happened last month and I had no money to give and I said the same thing again.
Apparently she had called my mom earlier and complained about me not picking up and her rent stuff and my mom said I should leave her house and go to a homeless shelter if things aren’t working (my biggest fear on earth).
My aunt then sends me audios telling me really nasty stuff telling me basically to quit my job if I can’t even give her a couple thousand dollars and that she has no other resort except for me and I have no choice but to find the money and fix her problems and I tell her that I can’t help it and there’s no way I can get $1700+ in a span of three days as a 20 year old and she tells me to leave her house by October 1st in retaliation.
She then sends me an audio saying this isn’t working out and to answer a couple more emails for her and fix her problem THEN leave.
I found my mother’s reaction extreme and I blocked her for causing me meaningless stress.
I also didn’t respond to my aunt but I’m not about to fix her issues or answer any emails or do anything for her and I am going to find a new living situation with someone and then tell her to kick rocks.
Initially, I felt indebted to her but I’ve been doing so much unpaid labour and receiving so much harassment from her and this was not a part of our agreement so I feel like it’s unfair for her to force my poor self to fix her life from a broken place.
I felt like I was treated like an animal without consideration and I felt like no one cared about me as long as I wasn’t inconveniencing them.
AITA for standing up to both of them and refusing to pay a dollar in rent?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I basically refused to help my family with rent and decided to stop helping in general because i felt they were using me and they also want to kick me out, so I might be an asshole for letting them suffer
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
You sound justified.
How can your aunt move out of the country for a year and be able to collect the housing benefit in the country she left?
Even when it is family, you need to put things in writing. Doesn’t sound like you have any “lease” or agreement that you pay rent, so you are not obligated to pay anything. You need to check the eviction laws in your area. I’m in the US and laws vary by state. In my state, you have to formally file an eviction notice. I think once that happens you have to leave in 14 days, but some people fight it and it can last over a month. Make her file it legally.
Wash your hands of her. Stop collecting her mail and doing stuff for her. Block her number so she can’t bother you at work. Find your own place to live. If she needs stuff done she can return to Canada. You have more than paid her back for anything she may have done for you in the past. Get on with your life without her.
NTA you are being used simple as sign off on everything and go nc