Before anyone says ‘just build a fence’ WE CAN’T AFFORD IT RIGHT NOW. And no, no HOA.
My neighbor set up one of those pantries/farm stands where people can take items that they grew in their garden, pantry stuff, donated stuff, etc. In theory it’s a great idea and especially in a time when life in America sucks ass and people are struggling to make ends meet (my family included)
The problem: people started coming into MY yard to pick things in MY garden. I’ve put up signs saying not to do it, I installed rabbit fence around the garden, I’ve angled a tarp so you can’t see what’s there from the road. People just hold their kids over the fence to pick tomatoes and beans or jump it.
I ended up getting into an argument with a lady over it. I yelled HEY, STOP. THOSE ARE NOT FOR YOU TO TAKE. She told her kid to move faster and then tried to run away. I caught up to her and asked her what the fuck her problem was and she turned it into how dare I swear in front of her child, why am I so angry, am I really that upset about a couple tomatoes. I said I am upset that you are STEALING from me.
The next day, I approached my neighbor. I asked if I could maybe help move it to the other side of their driveway so it’s next to the other neighbor’s house. They don’t have a garden out front. They said at least not until the end of the season. I asked if they could make larger signs, talk to people, just do SOMETHING..
They were like “can you really not afford to share?” I said that they aren’t taking my zucchini because they’re starving, they’re taking my tomatoes because they WANT them. They said that I’m going to have to learn to live with it for now and we can talk about a solution together that will benefit the whole community after. I said I do not care about a solution that benefits the whole community. I care about a solution that stops people from STEALING FROM ME.
So last night it happened again, man in his 50s. I sprayed his ass with the hose. He started yelling at me and after a minute or so the neighbor came out yelling at me too. People have posted on the neighborhood board to be careful if they come by because I’m an asshole. The neighbor says I’m scaring people away from a community resource. I told him that I’m going to continue until he does something about the fucking thieves who feel entitled to MY GARDEN.
I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind here. Am I the asshole for asking them to move it? Am I the asshole for being PISSED OFF that people are fucking STEALING from me? This is food for my family.
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Before anyone says ‘just build a fence’ WE CAN’T AFFORD IT RIGHT NOW. And no, no HOA.
My neighbor set up one of those pantries/farm stands where people can take items that they grew in their garden, pantry stuff, donated stuff, etc. In theory it’s a great idea and especially in a time when life in America sucks ass and people are struggling to make ends meet (my family included)
The problem: people started coming into MY yard to pick things in MY garden. I’ve put up signs saying not to do it, I installed rabbit fence around the garden, I’ve angled a tarp so you can’t see what’s there from the road. People just hold their kids over the fence to pick tomatoes and beans or jump it.
I ended up getting into an argument with a lady over it. I yelled HEY, STOP. THOSE ARE NOT FOR YOU TO TAKE. She told her kid to move faster and then tried to run away. I caught up to her and asked her what the fuck her problem was and she turned it into how dare I swear in front of her child, why am I so angry, am I really that upset about a couple tomatoes. I said I am upset that you are STEALING from me.
The next day, I approached my neighbor. I asked if I could maybe help move it to the other side of their driveway so it’s next to the other neighbor’s house. They don’t have a garden out front. They said at least not until the end of the season. I asked if they could make larger signs, talk to people, just do SOMETHING..
They were like “can you really not afford to share?” I said that they aren’t taking my zucchini because they’re starving, they’re taking my tomatoes because they WANT them. They said that I’m going to have to learn to live with it for now and we can talk about a solution together that will benefit the whole community after. I said I do not care about a solution that benefits the whole community. I care about a solution that stops people from STEALING FROM ME.
So last night it happened again, man in his 50s. I sprayed his ass with the hose. He started yelling at me and after a minute or so the neighbor came out yelling at me too. People have posted on the neighborhood board to be careful if they come by because I’m an asshole. The neighbor says I’m scaring people away from a community resource. I told him that I’m going to continue until he does something about the fucking thieves who feel entitled to MY GARDEN.
I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind here. Am I the asshole for asking them to move it? Am I the asshole for being PISSED OFF that people are fucking STEALING from me? This is food for my family.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I asked my neighbor to move their free farm stand or come up with a solution to stop people from stealing from mine. I also started chasing people off my yard with the hose. I am the asshole for scaring people away from a well intended community resource when people are in rough shape and in need.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. i understand your frustration id be pissed too.
NTA, stealing is never okay. I would probably try to get a motion sensor sprinkler or a pitbull 🙂
NTA at all! Don’t have a solution except to try to pick your crops early in the morning?
Hose your neighbor too. NTA
NTA. I would be pissed off too. Keep spraying people.
NTA. But you may need to invest in a security camera, some signage, and start calling the cops with video evidence. Hopefully the cops will get sick of it and suggest the neighbor take steps to clarify the situation.
TBH I dont think moving it will solve the problem, they ran away from you when confronted. They are stealing on purpose, moving the stand wont solve that
NTA
> one of those pantries/farm stands
Even without an HOA, I’d check to see if local ordinances allow for such structures.
> They said that I’m going to have to learn to live with it for now and we can talk about a solution together that will benefit the whole community after.
OH FUCK THAT
NTA but can you put up your own signs? At this point though I feel like people would have heard and are doing it deliberately if they aren’t strangers to the neighborhood.
NTA! I shouldn’t even suggest what I would wanna do. Lol but I would be super freaking mad about it too. Perhaps the stand isn’t strong enough to handle a big gust of wind? A freak tiny tornado that maybe dragged it down the street? That would be crazy. Honestly if I was in this situation I would demand the removal of the stand or maybe just start charging the stand for your theft?
plant your ghost peppers on that side of your garden.
Tbh ESH… the stand isn’t the issue here. Thieves are. The neighbors can’t volunteer your garden to be shared but their little stand is not making those people steal, they also don’t confuse it. They just want it and steal. Text that damn group where they talk about you or warn about you and tell them that it’s yours and all Thieves will be posted. Or something like that.
Your anger is misguided to your neighbor. But your neighbor can’t tell you to share.
NTA Can you call the cops?
Call the cops and have people tresspassed, thats your best bet probably.
Call the non emergency lime and tell them people routinely steal from your garden. They can probably spare a trooper at least some of the time. Repeat the call every couple weeks if they dont help right away
NTA I would keep spraying too.
NTA. They are literally volunteering your garden as the community veggie resource. That’s why it’s next to your garden. It is incredibly inappropriate
NTA. I’d dismantle the stand and leave the parts on the lawn or driveway of the person who set it up. Keep doing this until this neighbour either deals with the issues of people stealing from you (reimburses you, apologizes, etc) and agrees to relocate the stand.
A small electric fence charger and some polywire are cheap and effective.
YTA
tbh, I’m not sure if the neighbor moving their stand would have any effect. Clearly people are still stealing it despite your efforts (signs and wire fences) and they will continue to steal from your garden whether or not the farm stand is there anymore. There’s no need to drag your neighbor and start a fight with them – it’s not their fault.
It sucks but unfortunately, you ARE just going to have to accept it for the rest of the season but consider moving your garden away from the road next year. Do you have a backyard? Most people put their food gardens into a backyard cos that makes more sense.
Definitely NTA. they are stealing from you and trying to make it your fault.
NTA, it’s your garden, and if you don’t want to share, then you don’t have to! You put your own time and money into growing the vegetables,I’d be pissed too.
YTA. I see why you see the farmstand as issue, the issue is people stealing. Maybe her farmstand put the idea in folks head that your garden had is to steal but crooks know that know. If folks are going over your fencing and disregarding your signs, the farmstand isn’t the issue.
You put in the work. You have the sole right to use your produce as you see fit. Your neighbor loves the immediate attention of being the generous one. NTA
Motion activated sprinkler.
NTA. Side eye to your neighbor who is basically encouraging elope to steal from you. And even MORE side-eye to the woman acting outraged that you dared to curse in front of her child while she was USING HER CHILD TO STEAL!
You might try a camera and posting photos to a Wall of Shame. People seeing face and license plate pics might deter some.