Aita banning my wife’s friend from my house after I caught her sister insulting my wife’s disability

r/

My wife has a close friend whom she has been friends with for half a decade now, she’s close and often comes over, sometimes she brings her younger sister (15).

A few days ago when both of them came to our house for dinner I overheard their conversation and the brat was laughing at my wife.

my wife had removed her eyepatch for a while and she was making fun of my wife about it and laughing about it and called her ugly, worst part about it? Her elder sis didn’t stop her and she said ‘it is what it is and just have fun’.

I immediately confronted them and said that I heard everything and I told my wife’s friend that I’m disappointed that she wouldn’t correct her Lil sister and she would encourage her instead and I want both of them out of my house.

She said that it’s not what i think and she would correct her sister after they went back home but I said I don’t care I told her to leave and never come back, nobody has the right to insult my wife.

After she left I told my wife everything even though I knew it would hurt her but I thought it’s necessary and my wife was obviously sad and she tells me to do what I want and whatever I find necessary for us.

My wife is disabled, she lost her eye 4 months ago to an accident in the kitchen and it has changed our lives completely, my wife has a nasty scar around her eye and eyebrows and she wears an eyepatch.

My wife cries every single day at night or when she sees her face in the mirror or whenever someone asks her about eye and it hurts me as well, I sometimes blame myself for not being around my wife when it happened.

I told my wife that I’m willing to give her my eye but she refused and she said I need to be able because I earn and I need to able enough to take care of our future children and we can’t even afford a eye transplant.

This whole situation has fucked us both and on top of that I heard what that little brat said and her elder sister doesn’t even stop her or correct her am I ah for what I did?

I understand that brat is young but it’s her sister’s responsibility to correct her instead she joins her? I don’t want any of them in our lives and I feel like we are better off without them I just don’t know how to bring it up to my wife without hurting her

Comments

  1. DescriptionFew6118 Avatar

    Nta. Protect your wife.

  2. leyorcoe Avatar

    Wtf did I just read

    There is no way to transplant a whole eye.

  3. Reteperator Avatar

    Well… I think you shouldn’t act unilaterally on behalf of your wife without asking her input. It would have been better to tell them to leave then fill your wife in and let her decide what she wants to do. But that’s just my two cents. Also I had no idea eye transplants were a thing. NTA

  4. avid-learner-bot Avatar

    NTA, your wife’s friend’s cruelty was unconscionable… but cutting off the whole family over one brat’s tantrum risks burning bridges you can’t rebuild. Try to find a way to address the issue without exiling her sister too.

  5. FarmhouseRules Avatar

    I would have smacked her first.

  6. Direct-Penalty968 Avatar

    As long as you didn’t ban the friend because you feel she takes up too much of your wife’s time, and now you finally found a plausible reason to get rid of her.

  7. Mistress_Anissa Avatar

    NTA you did the right thing.

  8. OddInspector2657 Avatar

    NTA, good for you. Those are fake friends.

  9. Efficient-Cap8111 Avatar

    Sort of and also not. You’re punishing your wife’s friend for what her sister did. You think the friend should have spoken up then and there, but I can understand why the friend didn’t want to make a scene. It might have resulted in an argument. A lot of families are taught by their parents not to air dirty laundry in public.

    The sister 100% should not be welcome in your home. The friend? That should be up to your wife, not you.

  10. AbigailTrueBlue Avatar

    You are a gem of a human being and husband. Your compassion and empathy for your wife’s injury is to be lauded to the skies. Thank goodness you didn’t try to whitewash the ugly comments the little sister made. You knew how mean they were, and you also knew that your wife’s *friend* should have stopped her sister immediately. You are better off without them. Be straightforward with your wife, that unkind things were said that can’t be taken back, and that this is your decision out of your love for her. You called it for what it is. During this period of recovery and adjustment, keeping mean people away is imperative. You are a real hero, and I hope that you both heal more fully with time. You are SO not TA.

  11. groovyfirechick Avatar

    NTA: At 15 someone knows well enough to not make fun of other people‘s disabilities. Please don’t excuse her terrible behavior because she’s 15. As for your wife’s friend not correcting her immediately, that is unacceptable. If she talks that way in your home, then I can’t imagine what she says about your wife behind her back. She is not really your wife’s friend. Not if she acts like that.

  12. Ill-Public797 Avatar

    NTA. And sorry, but 15yrs is not too young for her to know better. If she didn’t know her words were horrible, she would have said it in front of your wife. The fact she waited for your wife to leave the room before making those nasty comments means she knows exactly what she was doing.
    You are right to ban them both.

  13. emryldmyst Avatar

    I have to say..  this is more creative than other fake stories on here…

  14. ACM915 Avatar

    NTA – what kind of AH allows her sister to make jokes about a horrific accidents that scared your wife for life. The younger sister is old enough to know better and they deserved to be tossed out of your home.

  15. Rimuru_The_Junior Avatar

    NTA and your wife is unfortunately friends with a fake friend.

  16. earenice Avatar

    NTA. Protect your wife!

  17. Useless890 Avatar

    I have to commend you. There have been so many stories about men who won’t stick up for their women when family insults or mistreats them or even makes excuses for them.

    It’s pathetic that you stand out for doing the right thing, but you sure do. Sympathy for your wife.

  18. Mywordsandopinion Avatar

    NTA and your wife is lucky to have you & her you. So many posts on here where the partner doesn’t stand up for their other half.

    Her bff should have corrected her sister at the time and by not doing this, it’s saying it’s ok to mock others.

    I hope somehow you’ll be able to find the funds to cover the transplant.

  19. Artemis-Phoenix Avatar

    Nta because from the sounds of it she wasn’t going to make the little sister apologize and that’s even if she was going have an actual talk with the sister and she wasn’t just trying to defend herself.

  20. North-Attitude-7917 Avatar

    You did the right thing

  21. Apprehensive-Care20z Avatar

    just give your wife your eye.

    problem solved, everyone happy.

  22. asamue16 Avatar

    NTA… that woman was not her friend…

  23. Visual_Composer_9336 Avatar

    Protect your wife at all costs

  24. prb65 Avatar

    NTA. 15 is more than old enough to know better. Also 9/10 adults would coach their family members about what to expect when first seeing someone who has fallen victim to such a hard accident. I’m sure your wife is still beautiful because an eye doesn’t change who she is. I grew up with a very good friend who lost his eye when a lawnmower threw a rock up. He has a glass eye to this day and he is just as good a guy as he ever was. Married, kids, career. He told me once that people that know and care about him still care and those who can’t handle it didn’t really care to start with.

  25. themcp Avatar

    >I told my wife that I’m willing to give her my eye but she refused and she said I need to be able because I earn and I need to able enough to take care of our future children and we can’t even afford a eye transplant.

    This immediately makes me suspect the whole thing as fake. There’s no way to transplant an eye: it wouldn’t work, it wouldn’t be connected to the nerves. People who lost an eye and just want something cosmetic get a glass eye.