My(F15) dad’s new fiancee Nyla recently moved in with us.
The problem is she has a daughter Mae(F16) who I don’t get along with because she keeps touching my stuff. I have turned one of the rooms into my library and I take REALLY good care of my books and I don’t like people touching them yet I keep seeing her in my library. A few days ago she spilled juice on one of my books that she wasn’t even supposed to touch. She said it’s no big deal and she’ll buy me a new book but I was so mad I told her that it is a big deal and I don’t want her spending my dad’s money on books for me, I can do that myself. Obviously her broke loser dad or her gold digger mom aren’t paying for that.
We got into a fight and now she and her mom think I’m an asshole.
Comments
No you’re valid
Yeah, you set a boundary, she ignored it and proved you were right to have said boundary.
>I told her that it is a big deal and I don’t want her spending my dad’s money on books for me, I can do that myself. Obviously her broke loser dad or her gold digger mom aren’t paying for that. We got into a fight and now she and her mom think I’m an asshole.
Harsh, but fair. Maybe if she controlled her crotchspawn, they wouldn’t hear truths that trigger them.
NAH because I wouldn’t want juice on my books either, but if you don’t want people to touch something, keep it in your room. If these books are in a separate room that functions as a library it’s for everyone in the house, not just you. Things in a shared space are shared.
Fake. Reported
You may have gone a bit too far when you called her mom a gold digger and her dad a broke loser but you spoke your truth so there’s that.
You sound so insanely toxic to be around…
You didn’t need to insult her parents YTA for that. If you would have kept it to yourself “I’ve asked you repeatedly not to touch my things and you can’t respect my wishes and you obviously can’t manage to drink out of a cup I’m going to ask for a lock on the door.” What you said shows this clearly isn’t about the books. And how you handled it was juvenile. If you lag out like this, your dad isn’t going to listen to you when you tell him you are uncomfortable in your home because of who he has brought in. If you explode emotionally and lash out like a petulant child and namecall things beyond someone’s control (she can’t control her mom or dad just like you can’t) you will doom yourself to the he’ll you create.
Make it about the books. Keep it about the books. Water damage (or juice) kills the value of a book for a collector. It is a big deal. It’s a huge deal. Dust jackets and no water damage are dealbreakers in the book collection world. She didn’t listen to your requests to not touch your things, she brought juice into a library, which is ridiculous, and she hasn’t mastered keeping the liquid in the glass. The book does need to be replaced but request that she replace it from her own money from jobs she has so it is a teaching moment for her. Maybe offer to get her a sippy cup too.
How new is the fiancee?
Her moving in with you does not mean that she gets to disrespect boundaries that you clearly put in place BUT it does not give you the right to also disrespect her parents (no it doesn’t matter if she would’ve done the same to you)
So, NTA for not wanting people touching books that you’re invested in and put time and money into but ESH for the way you have dealt with her shitty behaviour especially for ignoring a boundary that’s been there i assume since these humans moved in (or before, it wasn’t stated)
I read in previous comments that your dad won’t allow a lock on any of your doors because of you breaking a rule but at the same time he needs to understand from your perspective that these people being in your home, in your library is not something you want nor asked for, he chose to be in a relationship with this woman but that doesn’t come at a expense of a relationship with yourself.
Sit down with your dad (potentially with an outside adult you trust too) and have a proper conversation about it all. All of it. The emotions this relationship moving on, her and thr other kid moving in, your things and boundaries being disrespected make you feel and TRY to get him to also understand your perspective as well and come to an agreement about how this new family will run.
YTA. I can see it being an issue if it was stuff in your bedroom, but it being your library? Sorry kid, if you want that much authority in a house, grow up, move out, and buy one yourself.
YTA for that comment about her parents. And you sound like a brat who had everything in life handed to them.
Good heavens, a teenage girl who is interested in books? What an absolute gem! Books are made for being read, by as many as possible, and to eventually fall apart. I think it’s unfathomable that you don’t encourage her to touch, read and be surrounded by your books. But then again, I’m a publisher, I drown in books and chuck them right left and centre at people, as long as I don’t have to store them. They’re made to be read to bits.
Can you put a lock on the room?? Ask your dad since homegirl can’t take a literal direct rule lol
Boy the life you’re creating is the life you will live. Would be interesting to see if your dad backs up that two rooms are off limits to entire family.
Look, NTA for not wanting people to touch your stuff. Thats fair and I get that. But it seems you’re holding onto a lot of anger and negativity regarding your new family members. I remember being a teenager with divorced parents moving on with new partners and it can be a difficult time, but trust me when I say life is so much better when you let go and give them a chance. You may even find a life long friend in your future stepsister. I was annoyed with my parents making me go to therapy when they split up but it was actually so worth it and I thank them looking back. Even if you’re not interested in therapy, it might help to talk to other friends who have blended families and hear their experiences. It gets easier!
My wife once moved some of my coffee gear because I left it on the counter to go to an appointment and when I had gotten back she had moved it. I remember getting extremely agitated and then I called my sister and after I told her how I felt, she paused and said “I’ve never heard you be so angry” and she was right and so I sold all of my coffee gear because I couldn’t obviously handle having it and being a good human being.
I don’t want you to feel like I am dinging you for being upset, I am dinging you because your books are controlling you in a way that is tempting you to be unkind.
>Obviously her broke loser dad or her gold digger mom aren’t paying for that.
Your maturity level is not good. YTA.