She said she’s broken to me because I refused to eat the food considering what she did to it.
We where in IKEA, she spent a whole day touching everything and when we were sharing a cake she got crumbs on her hands and decided to pat them off back onto the said cake.
I then asked her if she had washed her hands and she said rather defensively “at home before we left”
I then refused to finished the cake and now as we returned home she ran into her room when we got back and doesn’t want to speak to me.
She’s 51 for god fucking sake.
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She said she’s broken to me because I refused to eat the food considering what she did to it.
We where in IKEA, she spent a whole day touching everything and when we were sharing a cake she got crumbs on her hands and decided to pat them off back onto the said cake.
I then asked her if she had washed her hands and she said rather defensively “at home before we left”
I then refused to finished the cake and now as we returned home she ran into her room when we got back and doesn’t want to speak to me.
She’s 51 for god fucking sake.
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> And sadly even though I probably would’ve survived eating it
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. She’s acting like a child.
NTA that’s basic hygiene.
NTA.
I’d have acted the same way. I’m sure most others would have too. That’s pretty disgusting actually and she really should not behave that way. At least should she the courage to admit the mistake! You did absolutely nothing wrong.
NTA at all! That is so gross!!
NTA
Who brushes crumbs off onto food? She’s being childish!
your last sentence on the post made me lol. You have a drama mama, best thing to do is dont engage, let her sulk. She’ll get over it. NTA
Nta let her sit and stew. That’s nasty.
NTA why is it that old people revert back to children? Seriously bullshit!
NTA. But now I want some cake.
NTA 🤢. I feel like that generation and older don’t understand germs. My mom calls me a germaphobe because I was very strict about her wearing shoes in my house when my child was in the crawling stage. Shoes she wore literally everywhere.
Edit: sorry I missed the age – my mom is a boomer. And I say it’s a generational thing because it’s a common conversation among my friends when kids started crawling about our parents.
NTA. Your 51 year old mother is acting precisely like my 5 year old nephew when confronted with the consequences of his actions. And your mom didn’t even get punished.
NTA
Ew. I’m also 51 – she was gross for doing it AND for pouting when you declined to eat it afterwards.
NTA. Super gross.
Gross… NTA…
NTA. I would seriously reconsider my meal plans if she was cooking meals for me.
NTA, but I’m just gross enough I’d have probably still eaten it. 😭
Her emotions are not your responsibility. You don’t have to eat cake you find unappealing to appease anyone. Don’t apologize, don’t try to fix it. Let your mother figure out how.to manage her own emotional baggage. If she tries to guilt you, tell her you live her bit you aren’t going to be emotionally blackmailed into apologies or behaviors you don’t feel are necessary. Then leave.
Sounds like mom has some mental health issues.
This can’t be real!
How was the cake… corporates asking
NTA. My mother is 60ish, tries to serve us food with her hands, licks spoons, picks up food from shared plates with her fingers. Every time I see any of that, I refuse to eat what she has touched. She gets mad every time, but I don’t care. I’ve seen her go to the toilet and then back to the kitchen without washing her hands. I’m not taking chances.
In a store, no less! The first thing we do before grabbing food at IKEA is…go to the rest room and wash our hands!
Wow, NTA, your mother is a freaking child.
this is one of my biggest pet peeves
NTA. You should have asked her why she bothered washing her hands to begin with.
NTA- ew.
At 51, she doesn’t know better? I’m a year from that, and the idea makes me cringe. Is she like that about other things?
NTA. Your mom is nasty, in the 🤢 way. But also, there’s a way about this. Parents don’t like being talked down to here. So you have to do it in a nice way if you don’t want them to be upset.
And especially important if your family/circle has anyone immunocompromised. It’s not your mom. It was ikea and public spaces. And it’s already done. It’s ok. 😆 at least it wasn’t a crazy hand made cake.
She’s embarrassed.
Depending on how you handled that situation (said things) you may have embarrassed her. Then YTA
Assuming you handled it well and didn’t embarrass her, she feels embarrassment for herself. Then NTA
If NTA, it’s for her to deal with but typically this kind of embarrassment is not easy to come back from. It will be hard for her to face you.
So it’s more of how you going to talk with her going forward to get past this now.
You’re ahead of the game because you are aware that her reaction was her doing too much.
NTA but to be fair… she’s probably been touching everything and touching you (and your food) without washing her hands since you were born.
Hopefully in the 21 years you’ve built up an incredible immune system.
Maybe she’ll wash more often now.
Why didn’t she just use a napkin?
The vocabulary, sentence structure and maturity of a 14 year old….
Menopause… she was having a bad day! Forget about it!
NTA I wouldn’t eat it whether she washed her hands or not. WTF would I want to eat crumbs that happened because the cake was being ate. She’s disgusting.
NTA
Ever since the pandemmy, I feel like I need to wash my hands after being in public places. I wouldn’t want to eat with my hands before washing them first.
Your mom flicking her crumby hands onto someone else’s food is gross. It’s not “just her” germs. It’s germs from every surface and object she touched out there.
Napkins and forks exist. Her putting her crumbs on someone else’s cake is a creepy controlling thing to do. “Eat my taint.”
NTA, that’s disgusting (both biologically and her emotional response). I’m 50, and I would have done the same thing you did.
NTA. If your 51 year old mother has not yet understood the concept of proper food safety and hygiene, that’s on her. She may as well have asked you to eat the cake off of the floor.
Wild, i guess me and my family are plauge bearing heathens or something xD
Like seriously, NTA and you shouldn’t feel bad because your mom yells at you. She is the A-hole because she doesn’t care about your health or even her manners. In fact, she is just as malicious as the people who coughed, sneezed and spread germs on surfaces during the early days of the pandemic.
She is likely going to continue her behavior and I would attempt to get as far away as possible from her.
Is she a damn toddler?
Oh that’s totally different. She just wanted the rest of the cake and didn’t want to share it with you anymore.
But if she admits that then that makes her selfish and fat so she had to reframe it as you being unreasonable about germs.
But yes, normally people need to wash their hands to prevent germs from making them sick. She may be allowed to do magic which I cannot confirm nor deny to you. There may not have been germs that would have caused illness on her hands, which is why she knew it was safe to eat. And she knew it would be safe to eat later
But honestly if she had just been like ” actually, can I have the rest of this cake? It’s really good” it would have been okay. But no, she made it so that you couldn’t eat it in good conscience, and so now she should suffer much gastrointestional distress. I hope you don’t find my reaction too extreme but, in lieu of the clarity you have provided, I think she deserves to have very uncomfortable Gurgle guts and diarrhea.
51? I was expecting her to be 70 at least and entering dementia or something. What a gross thing for her to do.