I 30 female and my husband 31 male have a 7 month old. Previous to our baby he would sleep in until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. Now he is still sleeping in until 11 to 12 while I get up with the baby around 6 to 7 am. I watch our 7 month old all day. I get extremely frustrated and have to wake my husband up multiple times before he actually finally gets out of bed around maybe 11 am. Then he will come downstairs and fall asleep on the couch all while I’m still taking care of our child. Sometimes he even gets mad or frustrated at me for waking him up. I feel like a single parent a lot of the times because I get very little help. I also struggle with an autoimmune condition that effects my back and hips so it can be challenging walking up and down stairs all day to wake him up. Or even caring for our child as they are quiet heavy and sometimes do not want to be put down. Anytime I try to talk with my husband about how I am frustrated he gets defensive and it turns into an argument everytime. Keep in mind I barely get any sleep I am up with the baby atleast 2 to 3 times a night. On top of that I work 3 days a week and have to get up at 530 am and work 10 to 11 hour days. If I try to wake him up to help me in the middle of the night he gets angry and will start swearing so I’ve just started doing it all on my own. He makes comments about how all I do is lay on the couch but the only time I actually get to rest is at 9 at night when I am pumping and have been up all day plus I’m in excruciating pain so I just need to lay down for a little bit. We start marriage counseling soon but I just don’t know how much longer I can handle try to essentially take care of 2 children. Am I the asshole for getting frustrated?
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Backup of the post’s body: I 30 female and my husband 31 male have a 7 month old. Previous to our baby he would sleep in until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. Now he is still sleeping in until 11 to 12 while I get up with the baby around 6 to 7 am. I watch our 7 month old all day. I get extremely frustrated and have to wake my husband up multiple times before he actually finally gets out of bed around maybe 11 am. Then he will come downstairs and fall asleep on the couch all while I’m still taking care of our child. Sometimes he even gets mad or frustrated at me for waking him up. I feel like a single parent a lot of the times because I get very little help. I also struggle with an autoimmune condition that effects my back and hips so it can be challenging walking up and down stairs all day to wake him up. Or even caring for our child as they are quiet heavy and sometimes do not want to be put down. Anytime I try to talk with my husband about how I am frustrated he gets defensive and it turns into an argument everytime. Keep in mind I barely get any sleep I am up with the baby atleast 2 to 3 times a night. On top of that I work 3 days a week and have to get up at 530 am and work 10 to 11 hour days. If I try to wake him up to help me in the middle of the night he gets angry and will start swearing so I’ve just started doing it all on my own. We start marriage counseling soon but I just don’t know how much longer I can handle try to essentially take care of 2 children. Am I the asshole for getting frustrated?
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Was he a working aspirational go getter before you had a baby? Did he keep the house well, work, shop, clean? Was he productive and attentive? If not yta for bringing a baby into this situation. And putting up with it yourself.
If he works and pays all the bills he deserves it. let him sleep