My neighbors have two cats and two dogs and two relatively loud young adult sons. One of their cats, Sam, started entering my house through the cat door I have for my own cats. Sam slowly started to stay at my house more and more and then sleep here overnight.
Sam has medical conditions and requires prescription food and pills. The neighbors initially gave me some of his special food for him to have at my house, and gave me some of his pills to medicate him on mornings when he was at my house and not theirs.
But then they switched gears and called me and said they wanted to talk about how hard it has been for them that Sam is moving in with me and how sad it makes them. I said I’m not trying to steal him, he just comes in my cat door, and I’m nice to him. I pet him and play with him just like my own cats and my house is quiet – no dogs no kids. So maybe he feels more peaceful here. Nonetheless the neighbors are now kind of angry at me. They took back his food and pills and told me not to let Sam eat anything at my house so that he will be hungry enough to go home. But that means I can’t put out my own cats’ food, especially at night, and now my cats wake me up at night for food because I can’t leave their kibble down for them. It’s a dang mess.
I just stopped telling my neighbors when Sam is at my house. They never come looking for him. I stop him from eating my cats’ food whenever I catch him doing it and I bought some of his prescription kibble and put it down for him. But he does sometimes steal some of my cats’ food – I can’t always stop him.
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My neighbors have two cats and two dogs and two relatively loud young adult sons. One of their cats, Sam, started entering my house through the cat door I have for my own cats. Sam slowly started to stay at my house more and more and then sleep here overnight. Sam has medical conditions and requires prescription food and pills. The neighbors initially gave me some of his special food for him to have at my house, and gave me some of his pills to medicate him on mornings when he was at my house and not theirs. But then they switched gears and called me and said they wanted to talk about how hard it has been for them that Sam is moving in with me and how sad it makes them. I said I’m not trying to steal him, he just comes in my cat door, and I’m nice to him. I pet him and play with him just like my own cats and my house is quiet – no dogs no kids. So maybe he feels more peaceful here. Nonetheless the neighbors are now kind of angry at me. They took back his food and pills and told me not to let Sam eat anything at my house so that he will be hungry enough to go home. But that means I can’t put out my own cats’ food, especially at night, and now my cats wake me up at night for food because I can’t leave their kibble down for them. It’s a dang mess. I just stopped telling my neighbors when Sam is at my house. They never come looking for him. I stop him from eating my cats’ food whenever I catch him doing it and I bought some of his prescription kibble and put it down for him. But he does sometimes steal some of my cats’ food – I can’t always stop him.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I let the neighbor’s car stay at my house even though he sometimes eats the non-prescription cat food that he isn’t supposed to have, and even though my neighbors told me it upsets them.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
ESH. None of these cats should be allowed to roam freely.
NTA the cat voted with his feet.
It’s unfortunate but that’s cats for you. If you want loyalty you need a dog.
There’s this cat philosophy… “home is where the food is”. You neighbor messed up by leaving their own cat’s food also at your house.
NTA, but your neighbor needs to keep their cat indoors for a few reason. Reason 1 is it will immediately stop the roaming and prevent the cat from moving in with you. Reason 2 is that this cat has special medical needs, so wandering freely could mean the cat is not around at a time when he needs to take his medication.
Reason 3 is all the usual stuff that comes with outdoor roaming cats; general safety and health stuff.
And for you, the same might benefit you to close up the cat door to avoid visitors eating your cat’s food.
NTA. Your neighbors? They’re AHs. The solution is so simple — if they want to keep Sam all to themselves, they need to stop letting him roam the neighborhood. Problem solved.
People choose dogs. Cats choose people. This cat has chosen you guys. Keep things on the DL and carry on.
Esh.
Cats should not be let roaming.
Also, this cat is not yours. Did you pay for it ? Did you pay for its vet bills? Its not the cat to decide and not for you either. Its not yours, dont let him get inside your place.
If they want the cat to stay at their house then that sounds like a “them” problem. If they ask, I would tell them you haven’t seen Sam in days. ✌🏼
You know you can close your cat door right? Seems to me to be a pretty simple solution.
NTA. Neighbor can stop this by keeping Sam inside.
You’re all the assholes for letting your cats out.
YTA – I initially thought you meant the cat was just following your cats and eating their food (which BTW, you can get cat doors that only let your cats in), but then it became clear that you are actively encouraging the cat to stay at your house, or ‘steal him’, because you literally said you are playing with him like one of your own cats, and crucial point – he isn’t one of your own cats.
And you’re buying his prescription food, and you’re kind of smugly detailed why you think he should prefer living at your house.
“I’m not trying to steal him” – by this do you mean, you feel like if you encourage him enough it’s his choice or something?? Because otherwise, yes, you absolutely have been.
This isn’t a popular opinion but I promise you every veterinarian in your city and mine agrees:
YTA for having a cat door and outdoor cats. That is not responsible pet ownership and is recommended against by every veterinary society. Pet cats belong safely indoors where they don’t get hit by cars and into fights with raccoons.
Your neighbor is an even bigger AH for having an outdoor cat with pre-existing health conditions.
None of this is what responsible pet ownership looks like. I would highly recommend reading about responsible cat ownership when you have the time.
YTA you seem to think that a cat gets to choose where they live. You could be doing more to make sure that cat goes home. You can’t just take someone’s cat because you think they like your house more.
I’m not having any of these “you’re the asshole” for letting your cats outside comments. We have 8 cats in a small loft apartment; I had ONE cat when we moved in, and the rest were ferals or strays that showed up. All of them have been neutered and vaccinated. They are used to being outside, and even if we had room for them all, they would be miserable never going outdoors.
Two neighbors’ cats have figured the cat door out, and they have no problem with their cats visiting for snacks, scritches, or all-day napping. I have also taken multiple, multiple cats to be spayed/neutered and ear-tipped to prevent more ferals in their feral colony.
Maybe don’t be so quick to condemn before you know what the situation is. Obviously cats being outdoors is not ideal for many reasons, but for us it’s the only option given the circumstances.
NTA
If a cat doesn’t like their home and they have the opportunity they leave. Cats have personalities just like humans and don’t mesh well with some people, just like dogs. Keep feeding the cat.
My cat 100% found some crazy cat lady in the neighborhood because he will come back sometimes stinking of ciggs and covered in flees. Even with he flee medicine we need to flee comb him when he comes back from the crazy cat lady house.
Lol. Everyone involved has far too much time on their hands.
ESH. Keep your cats inside.
ESH
Cats should be kept indoors.
ESH cats are an invasive species in the UK, stop letting them out to roam. Cats can live perfectly happy and healthy lives inside and there are alternatives to free roaming, like catios or leashes.
The cat chose you and they don’t know how to process that.
My brother bought some property on my mom’s acreage. I also have a small apartment on said acreage. After they built their house, they decided they wanted my baby niece’s cat to be a barn cat. They also have a bunch of dogs. The cat came by one day, and my mom made the mistake of, not just giving her food, but the canned food I feed my cats. My SIL said not to feed the cat after that, but she’d keep coming back. We’d call my older niece to get her and take her back to my brother’s, but she kept coming back, so I’d let her inside and feed her, and she kinda became my indoor/outdoor barn cat. Until she brought me 2 dead birds, and I took her inside permanently. I used to feel bad I commandeered my baby niece’s cat, but the cat chose me. My theory is she didn’t want to be around all those outside dogs. Also, my SIL claims to love animals, but they all stay outside, and they cycle through them as they die young. I had Desi for 4 years before she suddenly passed. (Presumably from undetected heart issues, common in cats) I think about how I found her open mouth breathing early one morning, and how she died in the car with my hand petting her for comfort instead of outside where no one would see her, and she’d be open for attack and vultures could pick at her little body, and I know what I did was the best thing for her.
If people don’t want their cats to adopt a different set of parents, they shouldn’t let their cats outside. 🤷♀️
I’m a firm believer that cats choose their owners. Good job.
ESH, none of the cats should be outdoors, nor should you have a cat door for them. This is very irresponsible, they are invasive species in many many places. However, the neighbors are extra sucky for letting a cat with medical issues and a special diet roam free, so I don’t blame you for not stopping the cat eating your own cats food. And you did more than I would have in your shoes, I wouldn’t have even bought the cat its own food and medicine unless I was keeping the cat permanently. And I’m an animal lover, hence why I am against outdoor cats, as it’s not safe for them, not safe for the environment, etc. Keep yours indoors, maybe block up the cat door, or install a fully enclosed area for them if they really want to be outdoors.
Y’all both the AH😂 stop letting your cats roam in other people yard