I am 22f and my neighbor who my family has been on friendly terms with asked me if I wanted to go for a short ride on his motorcycle. I said sure because l’ve never ridden one.
Admittedly I had assumed this would be like 10 minutes top (so I didn’t take my phone with me) but he asked me if i wanted to drive to a nearby park. I didn’t realize how far said park was but it took longer than expected.
We called my father when there and told him where we were and that we would head back soon after looking at the fish in the pond.
On the way back it was beginning to get dark and a cop pulled us over because my neighbor didn’t have the correct taillights??
And also some insurance thing? Idk I don’t drive. At this point I was kinda pissed at him for not knowing but he was already beating himself up so oh well. Point is we sat there for a bit and that ate into the hour I was
gone.
After he got a ticket we went down the street a block before the same cop pulled us over to say they had a missing persons report filed for me and that we had to wait for two more cops to get there. Now some more context is I’m White and my neighbor is a black man. So the cops definitely were asking me shit like did he do anything to you? Did you go willingly? And I was just like ya bro that’s my friend?? We went out for an hour?? I’m an adult? And one of the cops laughed when I told him that because my parents made it sound like I was a minor who got kidnapped.
Anyway I was extremely embarrassed and felt really bad for my neighbor because he shouldn’t have been in that scary situation with 3 police officers surrounding him as a black man just because he wanted to do something nice.
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I am 22f and my neighbor who my family has been on friendly terms with asked me if I wanted to go for a short ride on his motorcycle. I said sure because l’ve never ridden one.
Admittedly I had assumed this would be like 10 minutes top (so I didn’t take my phone with me) but he asked me if i wanted to drive to a nearby park. I didn’t realize how far said park was but it took longer than expected.
We called my father when there and told him where we were and that we would head back soon after looking at the fish in the pond.
On the way back it was beginning to get dark and a cop pulled us over because my neighbor didn’t have the correct taillights??
And also some insurance thing? Idk I don’t drive. At this point I was kinda pissed at him for not knowing but he was already beating himself up so oh well. Point is we sat there for a bit and that ate into the hour I was
gone.
After he got a ticket we went down the street a block before the same cop pulled us over to say they had a missing persons report filed for me and that we had to wait for two more cops to get there. Now some more context is I’m White and my neighbor is a black man. So the cops definitely were asking me shit like did he do anything to you? Did you go willingly? And I was just like ya bro that’s my friend?? We went out for an hour?? I’m an adult? And one of the cops laughed when I told him that because my parents made it sound like I was a minor who got kidnapped.
Anyway I was extremely embarrassed and felt really bad for my neighbor because he shouldn’t have been in that scary situation with 3 police officers surrounding him as a black man just because he wanted to do something nice.
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For more context my neighbor is older than me (30ish) but he’s kinda nerdy and I get the feeling he’s just kinda lonely and doesn’t have a lot of friends. He’s not the most socially conscious but he got really excited when he said he wanted to show me the
park because it’s his favorite spot to read.
So I said ya. The park was jam packed with family’s and people fishing so it’s not like it was an isolated spot even though the sun was setting. I also don’t get the feeling he’s likes me more the feeling he just wants to talk about anime with someone.
My father is a self proclaimed racist. He has said the n word multiple times in front of me.
And we had a huge fight following the black lives matter movement because “all lives matter my life should matter too” ya…
He claimed that he was only worried my neighbor crashed the bike with me on it.
My mother was a surprise to me. The first thing she said after 1 hour of not seeing me
was
“what did he do to you” with tears in her eyes… no words… she then asked me if I thought he
“liked me like that” it was honestly a very gross feeling.
I’m still pissed. They tried to tell me this is a normal thing to do. And the police said “oh they are just worried about you” everyone is trying to say this is normal but too me it just feels like insane paranoia and huge jumps in logic. And I can’t help but feel race plays a factor. My neighbor was also justifiably upset and he was trying to defend himself but my parents just ignored him. Even though literally an hour earlier they welcomed him into our home to make small talk. Am I crazy?? I’m still upset and haven’t really spoken to them because what the hell?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Was this truly a normal thing to do if someone isn’t heard from in an hour? Am I just being a spoiled brat?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA Your parents are insane and huge racists.
They are dangerous people and not to be trusted.
Please stay away from your neighbour, for his sake, they could ruin his life and he could end up in prison.
You’re not wrong for being upset that was an overreaction on your parents’ part, especially since you’re 22 and had already called to say where you were.
Filing a missing persons report after just an hour, without checking more, not only embarrassed you but also put your neighbor in an unnecessarily tense and dangerous situation. It sounds like they acted out of fear, but their fear crossed into creating real harm. You have every right to be frustrated, especially considering how it could have escalated for your friend.
That’s really strange if you’re really 22. I was under the understanding
They would not
Even file a report on an adult unless a clear sign of a crime for at least 48 hours.
Adults are allowed to disappear and or go wherever they want.
Your dad friends with the police by any chance? That would be my guess.
NTA. You should move out ASAP. Not only is your dad racist, this
>a cop pulled us over because my neighbor didn’t have the correct taillights??
also sound racially motivated.
OP, you might want to include the bits about the racism from your parents. I mean, you were already NTA, but your parents really, really are. They had no reason to be worried about you, they were just pissed you were out with a black man and thought calling the cops would put an end to that. Their behavior was disgusting, and honestly I wouldn’t be able to be around them after this if it were me.