For context, me and my fiance (im a guy) were sitting in our chair were sitting in our double seated recliner chairs. Our 14 year old does good night hugs every night and she leaned over to give her mom a hug. I guess she accidentally put her breasts on her mom’s hands or something I wasn’t paying attention as I was playing Resident Evil on my phone.
Daughter came over to me for hugs and her mom makes the comment to me “Be careful she might make you touch her boobs” I assumed she was half joking because of the tone. My reply was “boobs are boobs” I didn’t mean that in a sexual way what so ever. More so meaning boobs are boobs as in just body parts.
Mom got mad at me saying 14 year old boobs are illigal!! So no boobs are not just boobs!
Was I wrong in saying that? I wasn’t sexualizing my daughter or not trying to at least. Because at the end of the day boobs are boobs its Just a part of a woman’s body at the end of the day. Daughter wasn’t trying to be sexual with anyone she doesn’t even concept that stuff yet.
I was just trying to make feel daughter feel better because of the comment made. Trying to kinda brush off her comment to not embarras daughter “boobs and boobs what ever” kinda thing as sometimes mom can embarras daughter by pointing things out so I didn’t really want this to be one of them. I wanted more so to give a whatever vibe.
She was fully dressed absolutely nothing showing regular T shirt and pants. All she did was lean over. So I didn’t understand the need for such a comment.
Was I in the wrong? This is a real thing that happened. I’m not gonna exadurate and say she stopped talking to me for a week or something stupid like alot of the fake ones do. The comment was made, I said whag I said she got mad and we moved on.
But I was wondering if I was still in the wrong still.
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For context, me and my fiance (im a guy) were sitting in our chair were sitting in our double seated recliner chairs. Our 14 year old does good night hugs every night and she leaned over to give her mom a hug. I guess she accidentally put her breasts on her mom’s hands or something I wasn’t paying attention as I was playing Resident Evil on my phone.
Daughter came over to me for hugs and her mom makes the comment to me “Be careful she might make you touch her boobs” I assumed she was half joking because of the tone. My reply was “boobs are boobs” I didn’t mean that in a sexual way what so ever. More so meaning boobs are boobs as in just body parts.
Mom got mad at me saying 14 year old boobs are illigal!! So no boobs are not just boobs!
Was I wrong in saying that? I wasn’t sexualizing my daughter or not trying to at least. Because at the end of the day boobs are boobs its Just a part of a woman’s body at the end of the day. Daughter wasn’t trying to be sexual with anyone she doesn’t even concept that stuff yet.
I was just trying to make feel daughter feel better because of the comment made. Trying to kinda brush off her comment to not embarras daughter “boobs and boobs what ever” kinda thing as sometimes mom can embarras daughter by pointing things out so I didn’t really want this to be one of them. I wanted more so to give a whatever vibe.
She was fully dressed absolutely nothing showing regular T shirt and pants. All she did was lean over. So I didn’t understand the need for such a comment.
Was I in the wrong? This is a real thing that happened. I’m not gonna exadurate and say she stopped talking to me for a week or something stupid like alot of the fake ones do. The comment was made, I said whag I said she got mad and we moved on.
But I was wondering if I was still in the wrong still.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 14 year old gave mom a hug and accidentally touched mkm with her breasts. Mom made comments saying “she might make you touched her boobs”
As a way to not embarrassed her I said Boobs are just boobs. Mom got mad at that I said that. Mom sometimes says things thsy are embarrassing to daughter. I said that as a way of boobs are just body parts nothing sexual.
It was resolved but I still feel maybe it was bad to say that even if I did not have any bad intentions
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
> “Be careful she might make you touch her boobs”
What a queer thing to announce.
How long has this engagement been going on, anyway, if you’ve got a 14yo together?
All I took away is that you can now get Resident Evil on your phone.
BRB, gonna check the play store.
NTA. Your intention was innocent…but it was an odd thing to say.
Body neutral is the way to go with your kids. Nta.
not gonna lie your partner is weird as fuck to make that comment in the first place in front of her daughter and to you…
ESH your wife is sexualizing your daughter.
BUT “Boobs are boobs” is used by men (and boob lovers generally) though to convey that they’re happy for any boobs sexually – usually when they’re attached to someone not attractive to them. Other phrases are “ass is ass”. You should know better that phrase is really only used in sexual contexts. That’s not a phrase you use to describe your children ever. That would upset some people to hear – have you been saying similar things to your children? Your wife’s reaction seems surprising unless you say off-putting things like that a lot.
You would have been better saying “what boobs?” though that can hurt daughter’s esteem. “what boobs? She’s not allowed boobs until she’s 35” (Dad joke) is an option. Or better yet “on her they’re just baby fat to me”.
Edit: to add, I view you as more in the wrong.
I thiiink I see what bothers her? The only time I’ve heard a similar phrase is on here, when someone said “pussy is pussy” by which he meant “doesn’t matter who it’s on, I’ll take it.” Your partner might have thought you meant it like that. What you actually meant though was the opposite, and you were just trying to make your kid comfortable after your partner said something frankly very weird.
NTA she semi-reasonably misinterpreted you but ultimately the original mistake was her own.
NTA. Your fiancée made it weird and left you in a awkward position to reply to her remark.
Downplaying her comment was the right move.
Frankly it sounds like your fiancée was in the mood to have an argument with you no matter what you said.
Nah, you weren’t wrong.
NTA. Your fiance was the one who brought the subject in a very weird way.
“Be careful she might make you touch her boobs” = who says something like this about a kid???
No way I would say anything like that especially my daughter she’s almost 14 also and that’s disgusting to say something like that about a kid like that I know accidents happen but u never say stuff like that about a kid… understandable if someone not related to you does it and are over the legal age but your kid no way man that’s disgusting not saying your a asshole either but u just don’t do that
NTA, Your fiance is the one sexualing a 14 year old and don’t let her gaslight you into believing you did anything wrong. You made the comment because you knew what she said was not appropriate. You should have a talk with her about it before she instills insecurities in that poor girl.
NTA
Mom is the one who made it awkward AF. Who even says that?
Your partner was TA with the initial comment, you managed to disarm that landmine with your well-placed words, and your partner freaked out anyway.
NTA, your partner is weirdly performative and gave you a lose-lose scenario where the price was comfort between you and your daughter. I would heavily consider a quick but serious conversation about why that shit is unacceptable. This is one of those things that looks small on the surface, but has sinister undertones.
Once partner makes enough weird comments, your daughter will feel weird about showing you affection, and she will pull away. That’s what you stand to gain if you let this sort of thing slide.
Why would she say “be careful she might make you touch her boobs”? Very weird thing to say.
Has your fiance been this way your entire relationship because, wtf.
Is your daughter okay? Does her mom always say things like that about her?
NTA
People just out here looking for things to be weird about and fight.
NTA
You are NTA, but your fiancé is TA for shaming and sexualizing your daughter for having a normal human body. Your poor daughter having to deal with a parent like that.
NTA. On average, everyone in earth has one.
Your wife’s comment was much weirder than yours NTA
Ooop that’s insidious. She sexualized the situation and projected it on to you
She’s the ah for planting a thought in her daughter that inherently sexualizes her existence
NTA
Your wife was inappropriate not you, what a weird thing for her to say, have mentioned to her how inappropriate her comment was?
Nta, my mom basically did the same thing and for my entire life I have been terrified to hug people because I feel insecure about letting my chest touch anyone even if I’m wearing ten layers. Like I always turn it into a side hug or keep my body pulled away slightly due to a reason almost exact to this story.
NTA. It sounds like your fiancé is competitive with your daughter.. it’s a very weird and inappropriate comment to make, especially about a child. I’d watch out for similar behavior.
By making accidental touching a big thing they are sexualizing the interaction between parent and child.
Had they not said anything it wouldn’t have been weird. Unless the parent starts “honking” or downright groping, in which case the other parent should definately speak up. But a simple goodnight hug is a sign of a healthy parent-child relationship.
NTA
The mom is wrong here
NTA
Your fiancé made it weird by saying what she did in the first place.
What in the actual fuck is wrong with literally all of you? OMFG
NTA— fiancé was the one that made it weird, like why would you say that about your own kid to a man she considers her father?
I mean NTA, I totally understand you were just trying to play it down.
I would disagree in that I do feel like a 14yo girl can conceptualise that stuff, but I don’t think your behaviour sexualised her at all.
Ughhh. Anyone who gets worked up about this are the ones sexualizing boobs. It’s body parts, Luke an elbow or a nose. Geez 🙄
Fiancée is used for a woman. Fiancé is used for a man
Sounds more like a miscommunication than anything for what you said, but her mum is being weird about her body.
Seems like she’s the one who made a big deal about it by commenting to begin with
Yes she was clearly joking which is fine but I don’t see why she should get upset with you, there’s nothing wrong with what you said either, she just chose to take it that way
NTA. Way to go Mom, implying her daughter’s body is illegal.
I can only kinda sorta understand where she’s coming from (despite her being fully in the wrong). She was the one sexualizing her daughter while you were trying to diffuse the situation — I say I can kinda sorta see her POV because she started off treating her daughters boobs as naughty parts, and when you commented “boobs are boobs” she clearly continued to assume you meant it in the same sexual way she did.
I’m saying it poorly, but basically your fiancé is a piece of work and is going to give your daughter issues that will last a lifetime.
NTA, wouldn’t her chest naturally touch you if you were both standing and hugged? It’s true what you said, and fiancée shouldn’t have made the kinda weird comment in the first place.
Weird the way the fiancé had to make that comment .Me and my husband look at our daughters as babies still I wouldn’t be weird trying to embarrass them as a mom .maybe she’s jelly of her own kids some women are weird like that
Your not the a holl but you could of worded that differently.
ESH. Your friend fiancée shouldn’t have said that. You shouldn’t have said it. She’s 14 and unless you’re a house that really worked on being comfortable in changing bodies, might not have been the best move for either of you. I hated it when my mom talked about my breasts at that age and it did not leave me with the best image of my body.
NTA for many reasons already stated. But I did read the word boobs so much I started to second guess if it was real
YNTA, but why would your partner say that? She is the one making a thing out of it since she said it. You were trying to minimize her bizarre comment. Good for you, dad!!
Such a weird comment….not from you OP but from your partner.
NTA
How does a child have a 14 year old daughter?
NTA.
NTA, your comment and mindset were innocent, hers were a bit weird. I’d be more concerned by her reading it the way she did. Like, what does that reveal about how she thinks about you. Idk. Don’t take it too far, but her reaction and immediate jump to sexualisation of a child was definitely weird.
Your fiancée should have spoken to you privately, if at all. Clearly she is your daughter who wants to hug you and she doesn’t need to be made to feel awkward or ‘weird’.
NTA. You were just trying to normalize a situation and avoid your daughter’s embarrassment. Boobs are indeed just body parts after all.
It seems that you meant “boobs are just a part of a body” (and in anyone you are obviously not sexually interested are just as unimportant as any other part). What you said was “boobs are boobs” and for the woman sitting beside you, whose boobs are probably not seen as an interesting part of the body just like any other by you, that must have sounded all wrong. So, basically it’s a misunderstanding, but I will vote for YTA, because you caused it. A simple explanation should do the trick.
NTA. A good way to handle this is to point out that they sexualized it and that it’s possible to hug people (mom, nana, daughter) and come into contact with boobs without them ever registering as happy fun bags. People are more than their body parts.
Mate…bad phrasing. Could see myself doing a double take before realising what you meant.
But definitely NTA for what should have, at most, been an awkward moment you’ll laugh at later.
Worse is how destructive it is that something entirely innocent like this gets sexualised by your fiance. Yeah, if you hug someone with boobs you may well feel their boobs brush your chest or arm or something. Making that more than it is is really destructive for women and girls to think they can’t even hug without it having some implication, and it’s destructive to men and boys too if it’s reinforced that natural expressions are restricted from them.
If she’s concerned about her daughter then she should have a sensible talk with her, not make it weird that she wants to hug someone significant in her life.
Pretty much everyone agrees your fiancé’s comment was extremely weird. But I also think it’s dangerous to your daughter’s mental well-being. “Make you touch her boobs?”, she said? That’s basically saying your daughter was purposely trying to get her boobs touched by her own parents. I feel sorry for this young girl for having to deal with this mess.
I hope you talk to her and let her know she did absolutely nothing wrong and that whatever hang-ups her Mom has are her OWN weird shit.
NAH, the comment boobs are boobs can be easily misunderstood tbf
NTA. She’s the one sexualizing her, not you.
NTA
But what did the poor daughter think when her mom said, “Be careful she might make you touch her boobs”. It is like the mom is thinking the daughter is trying to come on to the OP. I just hope the daughter didn’t catch the undertone of what her mother actually said.
NAH
It has nothing to do with sexualizing your daughter. Stop being so obtuse.
I have 3 children and 2 of them are daughters. As a father it’s our job to protect our children. Just teach her to be careful when hugging. She’s developing and people can take advantage of that. That’s it. Just teach her to be cognizant of that. She can’t hug the same way she used to since she’s maturing. That’s all you have to teach her.
That’s not sexualizing. That’s educating.
NTA.
I have a 13 year old that comes out of her room topless, that’s uncomfortable for me and I ask her to cover up.
But her boobs accidentally touching me when we hug?
So not an issue or concern.
Mom is tripping, you’re fine.
NTA, but keep an eye on this because your GF is busy sexualizing them – and your daughter.
Her mom making that comment is sick. Sexualizing your own teen daughter is unacceptable and indicative of a need for professional help. Make sure your wife isn’t shaming your daughter or making other sexual comments.
Not even remotely the ahole. Honestly, neither is the mother at first. Once she realized that you were not sexualizing the girl , she should have apologized.
NTA
That is a weird ass comment from your partner, IMO. Daughter could’ve easily been embarrassed by her saying that. I know I would’ve been.
As for you, I didn’t take it as you were sexualising her. I took it as “it’s just a body part, and sometimes they accidentally touch” not like you were going out of your way to creep on her daughter and touch her breasts. WTF is your partner even thinking?
Also, if you hug daughter stood up, her boobs will touch your chest. What would mom make of that? She’s being weird. I suggest talking to her and calmly explaining why you said what you did, and ask why she made it weird.
Edit: missed letter in judgment
NTA.
NTA. Could’ve worded it a little better but you were brushing it off. Not sure why mom was trying to make her daughter uncomfortable to begin with?… Seems like she was the one being weird about her 14 year olds boobs. My mom wouldn’t have even said anything if that happened, why did she bring attention to it and get upset with you brushing it off?..
NTA
But you should be concerned about how your fiance acted. Who says that about their own daughter to begin with? Way to body shame someone you’re supposed to be guiding into adulthood…
I would have a serious sit down with her about her behavior
I’m sorry, but I simply couldn’t be with someone who bullies their own child
This is so weird on your partners end. Boobs are just boobs. They’re not inherently sexual parts of the body. The purpose of them is literally for feeding children and for some of us there is the added bonus of them being an erogenous zone. NTA.-
as others have said, SHE’S the weird one for even making a comment like that in the first place.
NTA. I think you could have phrased what you were trying to say better, but she’s the one who made it weird in the first place.
Poor girl. Her mom making her feel self conscious for simply being a woman. NTA
exadurate lol I believe you mean “exaggerate”
“Exadurate”? Oh, for fuck’s sake. Put down the Resident Evil and pick up a dictionary for just once in your life.
YTA
ESH. Both of those comments were beyond inappropriate
Soft YTA. The only time I’ve heard boobs are boobs are when they’re being sexualized. As a woman this saying is probably one of the most annoying sayings because to us, or to me, it says the guy or whoever loves to see them, feel them, etc.
A better thing would be to say is, “they’re just a natural body part.”
Depends on how your daughter interpreted it. If she was like “thanks dad mom was being weird there” than NTA. if she was thinking “why are my parents both so wierd” than your both sus.
Either way your wife is mad sus about what she says in front of blood. Like bro don’t start saying your husband wants to ____ your daughter infront of your daughter.
Check with your daughter and clarify what you meant and ask if she feels OK about what your wife spouted.
NTA— First all, she shouldn’t be shaming a 14 year old about accidently pressing her body against her own mother, and second your partner should ask your intention behind that comment before assuming. She sounds unhinged.
Glad I’m not the only one who thought partner was being weird. Way to make the kid feel more awkward about an already awkward thing.
NTA.
NTA. OP- this is a huge red flag about your relationship with your fiance. When I was a teen my mom got super weird and started getting jealous of me and my dad’s relationship. (We used to talk about history for hours) She started making snarky remarks similar to this.
I guarantee that your daughter understood what was said by your fiancé and was embarrassed by her comment. Focus on your daughter right now and check in with her to see how she felt about the exchange. Making sure that she is ok, and that you have clarity on the exchange is first and foremost.
Next, talk with your fiance and figure out where this comment came from. If she is jealous of your daughter in anyway, it won’t end here. You’ll need to prioritize which relationship you’d rather preserve.
Dude you’re definitely not in the wrong if anything I feel like it would make it 100x more awkward for your 14 year old daughter for her to be making comments like that..
Not that I need to explain anything more then I did because has 0 to do with anything but- met mom when we were 15 16 we were together in high school. Split up got back together when daughter was 12, she calls me dad we have a very family dynamics. She might be 14 physically but mentally maybe 12, she doesn’t understand anything sexual at all. Nore do I view her that way at all.
She gives bedtime hugs and kisses every night. It’s something that SHE does on her own and we do not enforce it at all. Not that I need to explain her body to a stranger but she is a C cup (I do thr laundry of thr home, mine grandma’s, sons, daughters, mine and wife’s so that’s how I know size)
I was playing thr game on my phone it wsd bed time. She leaned over to give hugs and they got in the way some how I guess I don’t know I don’t pay attention to where my daughters breasts are. Mom made the comment I said boobs are boobs as in who cares she’s trying to give hugs
NTA. I think it’s reallyyyy gross your wife took it there about your daughter.
NTA your comment could be misunderstood but I totally get what you were saying. Her mom is the real AH as SHE sexualized her own daughter, not you. She embarrassed her, made her hyper aware of her body and likely made her feel ashamed of it. I would be pissed if someone said this in front of my two daughters when they were doing something so innocent.
NTA, but know one thing: if she’s a regular 14yo she DOES concept that stuff, even if she doesn’t act like she does.
(Source: I’m a woman and was once 14, as were my friends and classmates).
NTA. Mom was the one who made the inappropriate comment. What would she have expected you to say to that weird sexualized comment?
NTA. My older sister and I are uhh.. busty. I cant count the amount of times someone (parents included) have accidentally touched a boob. Accidentally grazing a boob is the same to me as an arm, hip, whatever. The phrasing could be misunderstood, but you clarified. So weird to make the comment to you in the first place.
WTF is wrong with your fiance?? SHE is the one sexualizing this poor kid, and I feel so sorry for your daughter growing up around her.
Seriously, you NEED to make a bigger deal out of your wife’s comments/behavior, because those are the comments that’ll fuck a girl up for life and cause her to make decisions she wouldn’t have otherwise made.
She’s going to see nothing wrong with people treating her like a walking set of breasts if her own mother does it.
NTA because I know you spoke before thinking, but that is a very sexualized phrase, and if there’s an asshole here it’s absolutely your fiance.
NTA. I learned at an early age that “parts is parts.”
NTA but I wanna give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she took your sentence to mean something more like “all boobs are good/touchable boobs” and not “boobs are just body parts they’re not that big a deal”.
But that is giving her the benefit of the doubt. Some people really are just super weird about their kids bodies.
NTA but fiance’s comment is kind of creeping me out. So if she were 18, it would be okay for you to find your own daughter sexual?? TF.
long, exasperated sigh.
Clearly this was just a misunderstanding, which is easily cleared up by you explaining that you meant to minimize the whole thing by essentially saying boobs are no big deal. Ok, fine, that’s all fine.
But… boy are you both daft? She’s 14, and you think she has “no concept of that stuff yet”? Unless she’s homeschooled, locked in her room all day, has no friends, no TV, no internet, no phone… I promise you even then she has “a concept” of sexuality. So first things first, you & mom need to pull your heads out. As soon as you’re done wiping your faces, you should learn how to have mature, reasonable conversations with your daughter about sex, puberty, body image, etc.
Lastly. Your fiancé is TA. She’s the one sexualizing, and creating a really uncomfortable environment for your daughter. The comment she made was body shaming, inappropriate, and immature. Who’s the 14 year old really?
ESH. Her Mum shouldn’t have made that comment, it sexualizes the child- especially not to you when you’re the Mum’s boyfriend not the kids dad.
You shouldn’t have said ‘boobs are boobs’. Despite you giving more information here on what you meant- what you may have meant and what you said have two completely different meanings and you also sexualized her even if unintentionally.
Both you and her mum need to work on minding what you say and likely trying to repair this with her. She must be feeling really uncomfortable in her own home as a child that’s now been sexualized by both adults to her Mums boyfriend. That’s incredibly inappropriate.
The only one making this sexual and a bad thing is the mother
NTA. Your wife is looking at things through a perverted lens and needs to get a hold on that but in the meantime, just be mindful of her sensitivity and try to avoid unnecessary conflict.
It was an easy enough comment to misunderstand but that’s where benefit of the doubt comes in if she knows that you’re not a creepy pervert she should have easily been able to recontextualize it into a non perverted way
NAH. “Boobs are boobs” can mean that they’re just a body part, OR it can mean that you’re happy to touch boobs no matter who they belong to.
It’s a misunderstanding. Nobody is in the wrong.
I’d say NTA, your fiancée was out of line, what you blurted out in response is more correct but not entirely correct if you think about it… sure “boobs are boobs” in a family setting but out side of the family context… they’re not just boobs sometimes.
I think your fiancée missed the 101 parenting lesson that the generally accepted way parents help girls mature is by trying not to treat them a whole load different just because their bodies are changing!
Meanwhile there’s a ton of “different hugs and what they mean” videos you can try and watch with your fiancée to help defuse the situation.
NTA
Boobs are boobs and are not inherently sexual. She’s your daughter, you did nothing wrong.
If your wife thinks you are a some kind of pervert who would sexualize your own underage daughter for having boobs that might touch you when you say good night to each other, maybe she should’ve never had children with you. On the other hand, your wife is doing exactly that, so maybe you should’ve made a bigger deal about her being weird.
NTA. Your fiance made it weird by saying that
NTA for what you said. You don’t see your daughter or her breasts as being a sexual object and you stated that fact.
Your fiancee is just projecting her own sexualised opinions on breasts onto both you and your daughter.
Your fiancee is the AH though for now making your daughter feel as though her breasts are mere sexual objects that all men (including her own father) would lust over.
This will give your daughter a ton of shame and insecurity issues.
So you need to address this with your daughter and let her know that what her mom said was wrong and that she shouldn’t consider her breasts as being nothing more than sexual objects.
Unfortunately, though, your daughter might now suffer with subconscious feelings of having to be more modest and conservative with how she dresses and behaves in the house.
I have a teen daughter (16F) and her breasts will often brush against me whenever she leans in for a hug or a cuddle.
Neither of us think anything of it, and it’s honestly never made me or my daughter feel awkward in any way. Even with the added fact that she often opts for being braless whilst in the comfort of her own home (because for a woman, constantly wearing a bra can be uncomfortable).
As her father it’s simply mentally impossible for me to even comprehend looking at my daughter or her breasts in a way that would be deemed as sexual. This is the girl who I’ve been raising since she was a new-born baby.
Mom has some issues and is already conditioning your daughter to be ashamed of her body and look at things sexually.
I feel bad for the daughter. At this age I felt really self conscious about my body changing and part of it was from comments like the mom made.
You were playing what on your phone???
NTA your fiancé is trying to make your daughter self conscious about something she can’t control. She’s just cruel
As a boob having person, boobs are just boobs, NTA.
Touch her boobs? That’s assault brotha
NTA, your wife is a bad parent.
NTA. I think your wife was quite unfair for even saying anything like that. Even from such a young age women are being made to feel like they are some sexual deviant simply because of their body parts which they can’t help. It feeds into a really harmful narrative to be honest. It sounds like in the moment you dealt with it how best you could without making your daughter feel awful. She is just a child at the end of the day.
there’s an important difference between the 2 phrases.
did you say: “Boobs are just boobs” like the title or did you say “Boobs are boobs” like the story.
“Boobs are just boobs” – indicates you’re saying “no big deal, just another body part”
“Boobs are boobs” – might imply you’re saying “i love tits, ANY tits!”
seems like a misunderstanding either way but the nuance of the phrasing may not have done you any favors.
NTA, and your partner has some issues if she’s drawing attention to your daughters private areas like that. In the future I would just call her out then and there. She’s the one being weird. It sounds like she could even be jealous of her daughter. So the next time just shut her down. “Why would you comment on someone else’s body like that?” “What a weird thing to say!” “I don’t know why you keep making comments about daughter’s body, but it just makes everyone uncomfortable. You should put more thought into your words before you say things like that”
ESH except the 14 yr old. You’re both creeps.
NYA. Mom made something out of nothing.
NTA. You just tried to tone down a comment that was seriously offensive. What was your fiancée thinking? Her comment is off the rails offensive.
NTA.
You were trying to defuse an awkward moment and protect your daughter from feeling embarrassed. The comment was clumsy, but your intent was clear. A better way might’ve been just to redirect or say nothing.
NTA
The women in your life started this and now trying to make into something and including you
Drama queens
Soft NTA.
You’re right. Boobs are body parts, and they will touch you when you hug or when you brush past someone or really whenever. Your statement, at least in the spirit that it was said, is fully understandable in that you’re saying it’s not a big deal.
Now for why it’s a “soft NTA” instead of just being fully “NTA”- Your statement, meant in the spirit of saying that boobs are just a body part, is often used to by guys that love all boobs. Again, not what you meant, but context is important here. A clarification that you don’t care because incidental contact isn’t going to turn you into an incestual animal or a blushing puritan might have been appropriate in the moment.
Finally, your fiance may have thought you were subtly scolding her for kind of body shaming your daughter. If her statement wasn’t a joke it strikes me as a subtle dig to your 14 year old like “you should be ashamed of the incidental contact your breasts made with another person’s body”. But maybe I’m projecting…
Your fiance is bat shit insane – not even an asshole
the only person sexualizing “the boobs “ is the fiancé . Dad tried to create safety, but was misinterpreted. Boooooo fiancé !!
Why is your fiancee trying to shame your own teenage daughter for going through puberty. That’s weird.
nta, but “exadurate” is wild.
I think you and your partner need to have a serious discussion on what gets said in front of your children. Im not even talking about your comment, but more your partners projecting onto your daughter.
I think it was your partner that said something weird tbh, not you. NTA.
Boobs are just boobs is a normal thing for an adult to think. Your wife is weird for saying that. You’re both the asshole and need to learn to communicate like adults in front of your daughter.
Also saying your 14yr old doesn’t even think about sexual stuff yet… you need to get real.
NTA
I call them “hanging sacks of woman fat” because I’m gay and find the heterosexual fixation suoer comical.
I think the correct comment would’ve been: “She’s my daughter. What is wrong with you?”
My daughter is 18 now and is rather large chested. They get in the way sometimes. She would literally have to do acrobatic contortions to never touch me with them if we are doing anything too closely. Boobs are just boobs in all nonsexual encounters! NTA
NTA.
Your fiancée was the one being weird and lowkey trying to embarrass 14 y/o. I think your comment was the right way to go to shut down her weirdness