My boyfriend (18 M) is turning 19 this next month. I have a friend (19 F) who seems very overly involved and has shown interest in him to the extreme. For his birthday she was talking about how she was going to spoil him and how she will give him the world for his birthday. She then asked me what I was getting him for his birthday. This is my first time spending his birthday with him since we have been dating and I am not too sure as to what to get him. He is going into the military soon and it will be the last birthday I spend with him for a little while. I want to do something special but I i told her I have no ideas. (Please give ideas for a 19 yr old guy) she then decided to be completely rude to me cussing me out and degrading me saying rude things about me and said he deserves better. I told him about this and he just comforted me and said I should ghost her and move on in life. She had been blowing up my phone for weeks now and has even gotten her family involved with contacting me and has tried reaching out to my family as well. AITA for taking space from her after she treated my boyfriend and I? And also any gift ideas for him? With all of this going on I’m so stressed and don’t know what to get him but I want to make this special and not let her ruin this lovely day.
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My boyfriend (18 M) is turning 19 this next month. I have a friend (19 F) who seems very overly involved and has shown interest in him to the extreme. For his birthday she was talking about how she was going to spoil him and how she will give him the world for his birthday. She then asked me what I was getting him for his birthday. This is my first time spending his birthday with him since we have been dating and I am not too sure as to what to get him. He is going into the military soon and it will be the last birthday I spend with him for a little while. I want to do something special but I i told her I have no ideas. (Please give ideas for a 19 yr old guy) she then decided to be completely rude to me cussing me out and degrading me saying rude things about me and said he deserves better. I told him about this and he just comforted me and said I should ghost her and move on in life. She had been blowing up my phone for weeks now and has even gotten her family involved with contacting me and has tried reaching out to my family as well. AITA for taking space from her after she treated my boyfriend and I? And also any gift ideas for him? With all of this going on I’m so stressed and don’t know what to get him but I want to make this special and not let her ruin this lovely day.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I took the action of ghosting my friend for disrespecting me and my relationship. (2) this can make me the asshole for ghosting a friend because of an argument
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, but your “friend” is unhinged. This isn’t normal behavior—this is obsession disguised as concern. She’s not just overstepping; she’s actively trying to undermine your relationship. Ghosting her isn’t just an option—it’s the option.
NTA. That “friend” is trying to audition to be your boyfriend’s next girlfriend and got mad when you didn’t roll over. Block her, burn the bridge, and throw a party on the ashes.
Gift idea: a custom dog tag with a sweet message from you, a small scrapbook with photos and notes, or even a surprise picnic/send-off day with all his favorite things. Sentimental > expensive.
NTA
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
NTA but run from that girl.. she is not your friend
NTA, also i don’t have any gift ideas sorry
NTA
But if he’s not ALSO ghosting her, he’s keeping her around for when you two are done (or for when you two are together) and you deserve better.
Tell her directly, once, to stop contacting you. Then stop responding. This feels stalkery so take those kind of measures. If she’s doing this to bf too suggest he do the same.
Your friend sounds horrible, boyfriend issue or not. Block her and her family. Make it permanent. NTA.
NTA baby RUN from that friend. she does not care ab you. also super weird that her family is trying to involve themselves. i’d send 1 message telling her that your friendship is over and then BLOCK THEM ALL.
for gift ideas, i’d go sentimental! Basic is very difficult and he will probably want things that remind him of home and you. I had a friend a few years ago, go into basic and his mom had everyone write “open when” letters. Maybe talk to his parents and see if you all could plan a quick weekend getaway before he leaves so he has some time with everyone!
NTA – but we can’t give you advice for gifts…he’s your boyfriend, I assume you know his interests. If you don’t, then maybe your friend should be dating him.
NTA
Dump that friend before she shows any more characteristics of Baby Reindeer’s Matha
NTA question is there a chance he is smashing your friend on the side? She seems awfully sprung over someone she isn’t even with
NTA. The friend is trying to put you down and take your spot, trust me girly, she isn’t someone you want in your life. Block her, this isn’t a normal friendship thing and she seems like she wants to steal ur bf
Give him a spine so that he fucks off from the army, as any decent human being would do.
NTA, she’s a big 🚩so not a friend. That’s very weird & disrespectful to you. You did the right thing. Your friend wasn’t a friend
NTA, I struggle to find ideas for siblings so I wouldn’t say it’s bad that you can’t think of ideas for a fairly important birthday. For gift ideas, does he have any hobbies you could buy things for?