I’ve been working at my job for almost 3 years.. We ended up moving to a smaller office with separate sections of about 20 people in each section. We are now required to be in the office 3 days a week, so in my space it’s about 10-12 people each day.
The woman across from me hums constantly. And it is very high pitched humming. She even starts snapping sometimes. I asked her politely to stop one say because it is distracting. She said she can get carried away sometimes and just let her know if she’s too loud.
She continued to do it, so I bought it to my supervisors attention. My manager then told them in one of our meetings to stop, they’ve also sent 2-3 emails explaining that people need to be able to focus on their work (we are case managers in an agency with huge caseloads).
She still does it and I asked to move to another section of the building. They refused and acted like it was a huge deal, but offered to switch me to a desk 3 rows away where someone else sits. I declined at first because I obviously would still hear it and that’s not fair for someone else to have to deal with it, but after months of being at work 10+ hours daily, I agreed to switch.
The girl I switched with is only part time and didn’t mind, but she said “that’s going to annoy me too. I woulda told her to stfu”.
I think it’s so dumb that my managers solution is to move someone else there, rather than addressing this one on one. No one really talks to me here, I’m guessing because they think I’m mean and standoffish because I am very quiet + me complaining about the humming.
However, my manager and supervisor have agreed with how I’m feeling. Everyone sits around wearing earphones to the point that they cannot hear what is going on. People have signs on their desks that literally say “I’m not ignoring you, my earphones are in”. Everyone at this agency just works with their earphones in. Even when I have to speak to customers, they can hear her humming over the phone.
Is this not crazy to anyone else? It seems I’m the asshole for wanting to focus and concentrate at work! Everyone’s just ok with blasting earphones (I can’t for ten hours each day due to migraines.) now it’s kind of a hostile environment, I often feel that I’m sort of a “black sheep” because I’m quiet and stand up for what I think is right. I don’t want to get into to many details either-but the place I work at is an agency specifically for people in poverty. A lot of our clients are angry over decisions we have to make and we have had people come to the agency with weapons, etc. we have security at all times. Yet people think it’s okay to not be able to hear all day with earphones in.
To add: it is not the standard humming. She’s is basically squeaking, sometimes singing kind of like “ahhhh ahhh ahhh “ she is like hum singing all day.
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I’ve been working at my job for almost 3 years.. We ended up moving to a smaller office with separate sections of about 20 people in each section. We are now required to be in the office 3 days a week, so in my space it’s about 10-12 people each day.
The woman across from me hums constantly. And it is very high pitched humming. She even starts snapping sometimes. I asked her politely to stop one say because it is distracting. She said she can get carried away sometimes and just let her know if she’s too loud.
She continued to do it, so I bought it to my supervisors attention. My manager then told them in one of our meetings to stop, they’ve also sent 2-3 emails explaining that people need to be able to focus on their work (we are case managers in an agency with huge caseloads).
She still does it and I asked to move to another section of the building. They refused and after like it was a huge deal, but offered to switch me to a desk 3 rows away. I declined at first because I obviously would still hear it and that’s not fair for someone else to have to deal with it, but after months of being at work 10+ hours daily, I agreed to switch.
The girl I switched with is only part time and didn’t mind, but she said “that’s going to annoy me too. I woulda told her to stfu”.
I think it’s so dumb that my managers solution is to move someone else there, rather than addressing this one on one. No one really talks to me here, I’m guessing because they think I’m mean and standoffish because I am very quiet + me complaining about the humming.
However, my manager and supervisor have agreed with how I’m feeling. Everyone sits around wearing earphones to the point that they cannot hear what is going on. People have signs on their desks that literally say “I’m not ignoring you, my earphones are in”. Everyone at this agency just works with their earphones in. Even when I have to speak to customers, they can hear her humming over the phone.
Is this not crazy to anyone else? It seems I’m the asshole for wanting to focus and concentrate at work! Everyone’s just ok with blasting earphones (I can’t for ten hours each day due to migraines.) now it’s kind of a hostile environment, I often feel that I’m sort of a “black sheep” because I’m quiet and stand up for what I think is right. I don’t want to get into to many details either-but the place I work at is an agency specifically for people in poverty. A lot of our clients are angry over decisions we have to make and we have had people come to the agency with weapons, etc. we have security at all times. Yet people think it’s okay to not be able to hear all day with earphones in.
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> Because I complained about a coworker humming and people think it’s ok to make noise at work because it helps them focus.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NAH of course you’re not wrong to feel annoyed etc. And the offender probably literally can’t help it. Not saying this is definitely the reason, but just for example, some autistic people constantly hum as a form of “stimming” which is pretty much necessary.
NTA at all. She shouldn’t be sitting there purposefully making noise at work in any capacity. Is there HR here at all?
NTA
But why not move and make it someone else’s problem? If management hears it from someone else it might help?
Only saying this because you said clients on phone calls can hear it, which makes it a work problem.
If it was just annoying, I would say wear headphones and drop it. I have misophonia, so noises people make can be a me problem. So I put headphones on.
NTA. You’ve handled this professionally, and it’s ridiculous that the burden is on you to move instead of your coworker being asked to stop a disruptive habit. Wanting to concentrate at work isn’t being mean it’s reasonable. Management agreeing with you but doing nothing real just makes it worse. You’re not the problem here.
NTA. I had to sit in an office with a lady who would “click” her tongue every 20-30 seconds and it drove me nuts. That was only for a few days though, I can’t imagine that all day every day at work.
This does not seem crazy to me.
What is crazy to me is to expect a silent workspace while working in a shared space.
People have quirks – this lady’s quirk is humming, yours is needing absolute silence and not being open to noise canceling headphones.
Given that it’s a secure office, I don’t see a safety problem with wearing headphones.
I also work in a shared office space, government agency work, where members of the public can often show up upset or angry. It would never occur to me to complaint to management that a colleague was humming.
YTA.
NTA. Nobody likes constant hummers and whistlers for a reason. It’s annoying.
ETA: you also need to take some responsibility and get some noise cancelling stuff.
NTA!
YTA.
People hum, they shake their legs. People have the free will to hum. It can be a self soothing experience that is for anxiety and mental focus. Humans make noise.
You’re not at home and you don’t get to police those around you. Put on headphones, listen to music.
NTA
So this woman has only been talked to once about humming and she continues to do it? Are we talking like humming as in, a song…or like, a tic?
They need to be managed in different ways I suppose…I’m going to assume it’s not ‘medically’ related given she said ‘I can get carried away’.
It sounds like you have the agreement of the others that it’s distracting given all the headphone wearing but they’re all too cowardly to do somethign about it?
Your manager/supervisor are cowards, they agree but do nothing. Given you’ve already brought it to them, you should do it again, mention the headphone wearing issue, and ask if they can do something about it. There is zero reason why this woman cannot stop humming when it’s disruptive to all around her. Maybe they can talk to other people and just ask ‘being honest, is the humming distracting?’ Then they can have a real talk with her . Just stop humming, I mean dang. What’s so hard?
NTA!
What is it with these humming people?! Can’t they just do that at home? It’s superannoying to hear that in öublic. Like what tf is wrong with them?
I have a similar job and that’s wild that they don’t just tell her to STFU to be honest. It’s unprofessional & distracting. I’d be asking for them to pay for noise cancelling headphones to start. I’d also get a medical note from your GP saying you need accommodation for a quiet work area – make this a duty to accommodate issue. It’s unreasonable they won’t move you.
That would be hell to deal with. Humming is the equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard board for me.
Oh, I know this frustration though I just put earphones in when this was an issue for me. As you can’t it must be even more annoying. That said, this sounds like a strength in numbers issue. If you’re the only person complaining then I can see it being overlooked as an issue for just you. If more people complain about it then it becomes an office issue and would be taken more seriously by management.
Think I need to go with NAH though. Declining to move 3 rows away initially was a mistake as it could’ve been seen as it’s not that big a deal for you. Allowing someone else to deal with it strengthens your argument if they complain about it too. The problem here is that an office of 12 people cannot really revovle around one person’s preferred way of working and to be honest I would prefer the humming than complete silence. Sounds like you should update your resume and start looking for something else if it’s that big of an issue for you.
NTA, I had a similar working experience with a girl who talked so loud that I couldn’t even talk on the phone with clients. And she would talk about the most inappropriate stuff, but no one did anything.
We hot desk at work and occasionally I end up near someone who sings at the top of her lungs. It usually starts in the afternoon when she gets bored and doesn’t stop until she leaves. My work gets more frantic at exactly this time because of end of day deadlines. It’s absolutely impossible to concentrate around her – I tried tutting and glowering (the British way) but she didn’t get the hint. In the end I worked out who her supervisor was and highlighted the amount of energy she put into her performances suggested she wasn’t really focusing on her work. Thank god that did the trick.
If your supervisor isn’t taking the situation seriously that’s an issue, and the atmosphere it’s creating sounds untenable. I’d start looking for a new role and let your supervisor know it’s a direct consequence of the office environment impacting your ability to work. I’d also start apologising to your clients on the phone about the background noise.
Edit to say NTA
Also, I have misophonia and find noises like chewing and throat clearing incredibly distracting. I’ve found listening to white noise very effective in blocking it out, and I think brown noise is supposed to SOOTHE migraines, so that could be a good option for you?
A got one that habit coughs all day. Not lightly either, like damn near coughing up a chunk of her lung.
NTA. This would SEVERELY piss me off