I (26m) was showing my friend (26m) photos from my wife (25F) and I’s vacation and I accidentally scrolled to a photo she sent me of her in a bikini from that vacation. (bikini selfie) I said “whoops” and kept scroller.
My friend said “wait wait…” and scrolled my phone back to her pic and said “wow dude, you’re a winner”. I chuckled and kept scrolling on.
I didnt think much of it because what he said wasn’t sexual or anything and was frankly nice.
i brought up the compliment to my wife the other day and she wasn’t happy with not happy about me “letting him do it” and not telling him he was wrong for it. AITA?
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I (26m) was showing my friend (26m) photos from my wife (25F) and I’s vacation and I accidentally scrolled to a photo she sent me of her in a bikini from that vacation. (bikini selfie) I said “whoops” and kept scroller.
My friend said “wait wait…” and scrolled my phone back to her pic and said “wow dude, you’re a winner”. I chuckled and kept scrolling on.
I didnt think much of it because what he said wasn’t sexual or anything and was frankly nice.
i brought up the compliment to my wife the other day and she wasn’t happy with not happy about me “letting him do it” and not telling him he was wrong for it. AITA?
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> 1) Me not stopping my friend from scrolling back to the photo, and not telling him that he’s wrong for doing so.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YTA
She didn’t consent to your friend checking her out, dude.
YTA
> what he said wasn’t sexual or anything
He just thought she looked really smart in that pic?
YTA.Your wife isn’t your property. You need her consent.
You’re okay, you’re wife is the real problem, but she’s hot so her personality doesn’t matter very much.
YTA
You can say that it was an accident, but going back to take another look was 100% intentional and makes you an AH
YTA – intimate pictures of your significant other should not be shared with anyone. Even if it was just a bikini shot.
YTA women are sexualized non stop and as her husband you’re not supposed to participate in that, yet speak up against it.
YTA that’s creepy and gross. But most importantly your wife was unhappy about it, and she’s the subject of the photo, so her opinion matters the most here.
More informative: So she wore a bikini in public but somehow your friend isn’t supposed to see it?
Translate: He basically meant he would smash if he had a chance. He isn’t a friend!! Just saying!! YTA you should have set some boundaries!! very inappropriate comment! No reason to go back and check it again!!
yta you shared a photo your wife intended to be private apparently… and why did he need to look a second time? I’d be uncomfortable around that friend forever if I was your wife and her being pissed is super valid.
you should feel so lucky that a woman will send you photos that you protect and guard them. even if she was wearing the bikini in public your friend wanted to look because he had sexual thoughts about her.
You are supposed to protect her dignity and privacy when she cannot.
YTA.
Uh, yeah. That’s sexual. How else do you think he meant it? You’re a winner insofar as picking a wife who shops for nice bathing suits?
NTA.
Damn, a lot of white knights up in here lol
If it’s a picture of her in something she wears in public and dude’s bro wanted a second look to compliment his bro, I don’t see the issue.
She didn’t send him a nude or topless he shared or anything.
Or is she mad when guys look at her in a bikini in public too?
Let’s be real – you wanted to brag by showing that picture of your wife. Whether that’s ok depends on your relationship but it sounds like she is uncomfortable. What adds a layer is that you likely knew she would be uncomfortable being sexualized by your friend and not only did it but told her about it.
There are definitely women that wouldn’t care but that doesn’t matter here. Her comfort is the one that matters.
So I think it would be interesting for you to think about whether you like her discomfort. Or if you just care more about enjoying showing off. Because they are both pretty gross.
🙄 the pearl clutching going on in the replies.
If my husband said his friend said that I’d be flattered, then go on with my life. Holy crap people.
NTA
NTA for doing it just don’t tell your wife LoL
INFO: Was the picture in a private setting or meant to be private or was it a selfie she’d have posted on social media?
I feel like her intention when she sent it matters a lot. If it was meant as an intimate gesture then you fucked up. If it was just like a regular selfie she would post on Facebook, then it shouldn’t really be an issue since everyone at the beach would have seen her in a bikini anyway.
Her reaction makes me pretty sure it was the first one, but id like confirmation.
Was she wearing the bikini out in public on your vacation? If so I don’t see an issue. He basically complemented you and your wife. Everyone just chill.
Dude, I grimaced while reading this. YTA.
Your wife’s body is not a trophy to show off how lucky or good you are as a man.
It’s demeaning and objectifying. Your friend was an ass for doing that, and you were an ass for letting him and laughing with him, and thinking he’s just “nice”.
Also YTA for going to Reddit, instead of listening to your wife, how she feels and believing her. Do you think we’re gonna absolve you and then what you guys did to your wife, you know, the thing that hurt her as she expressed, wouldn’t matter?
You think your friend was nice, because it was nice to you, because it was a compliment directed at you.
It was not a compliment at your wife, it was a compliment how you’re “the man” because you can touch and look at your wife, who other men also would like to touch and look.
If you were not there, and your wife was in a bikini, your friend was around and he looked at your wife putting on a towel, said to your wife: “wait wait…take it off” and as your wife takes the towel off, he would ogle her, smile and say: “damn…OP is a lucky man”.
How would it feel? Not so nice now, eh? Why does the situation change when you’re the one getting the compliment and showing her in a bikini?
YTA. She sent that to you for your eyes only. Bet you won’t be getting more pics like that in the future.
NTA everyone here is overreacting. It’s just a bikini picture where she is out in public. The comment wasn’t even offensive or sexual.
Lol you don’t kiss and tell dude
YTA – your friend wasn’t actually complimenting your wife, he was sexualizing her and complimenting you for ‘getting’ her. Don’t let people scroll on your phone if you have pictures that are sent to you from others privately in there, and get better at only showing the pictures you intend to. Like, you knew you weren’t supposed to show that picture, or you wouldn’t have said ‘whoops’ when you did.
YTA
Maybe your wife doesn’t WANT to be checked out by your friend. She probably doesn’t believe you when you say it was an accident.
NTA, but it’s just common sense. Your wife doesn’t need to know everything you talk about with your bros.
In hindsight, you probably should have just taken the bro compliment and not mentioned it to your wife. Sounds like he was trying to hype you up really
YTA – it was sexual.
Rookie move. Gotta keep stuff you don’t want people to see in a different folder. If you can do that you can even make it a hidden folder. Your real problem now is she isn’t gonna send you pictures of her asshole cause she knows you’re reckless and not to be trusted with classified information.
Wow. She seems fun.
So she doesn’t want people to see her in a bikini? It’s not like he was being creepy.
INFO: was that photo meant for public consumption? Was she wearing the bikini in front of other people to begin with?
NTA. Did men see her in the bikini on the beach or pool? If she doesn’t want her body seen maybe she should wear a burka swimsuit. I don’t see the big deal.
YTA for bringing up to her afterwards. Also you might think it’s ok but she may not.
YTA, for forcing your friend to look at vacation pictures.
YTA
I would be absolutely disgusted if my SO did this
NTA, you have a pretty wife. He paid you a compliment.unless those were private pics, you are fine.
Next time, be firmer and make sure he doesn’t do that again.
NTA. I’m guessing if your wife is hot, most guys would say the same.
Nta
YTA – there’s definitely an implied sexuality to the comment about your wife, especially as he’s commenting on her body.
Second, if he’d made that comment on seeing the image the first time, maybe that’s fair enough. But you let him scroll back to ogle her.
You have to know your wife is in his bank now.
Your mates a bit of a wrongun for just explicitly being like “dam scroll back so I can perv on your wife”. And youre a bit of a wrongun for saying yh here you go get a good look.
But ultimately its the same bikini she was just wearing infront of a thousand other blokes so no harm is done towards her. Its up to you whether that’s the sort of dynamic you want with your friends.
It doesn’t really matter what we believe. Your wife believes YTA so YTA.
NTA but apologize to your wife and be wary of that in the future. Also say no in the future. Marriage is a learning process. You make a mistake, you apologize, and you learn from it and grow as a couple.
NTA – Unless she specified she definitely didn’t want someone else to see that picture, you have no way to know that and outfit she wears publicly is a no-go to be shown other people.
YTA. Why are you going to Reddit for approval when you already know your wife didn’t like HER photo getting shown? That’s all you need to know just say sorry and move on.
NTA. Lol wtf is with the YTA. She wore this bikini at a resort right? It’s not a lingerie sexy pic meant for you. As a man, obviously people are going to check out my wife. Your friend was upfront and gave you and your wife a compliment. No one is an asshole.
I figure if you take a photo of yourself and you share that photo with anyone, it is likely one or more third parties will see that photo.
Your wife clearly did not like it, you said whoops so knew she would not. You let this guy sexualize your wife while you smiled like a dummy.
Protect your partner, your friend dosnt respect your if he can make you go back to that picture.
You should be embarrassed and apologize to your wife.
Remindme in 20 years when the same thing happens again. The reaction will be different.
Yta
YTA you do realize that your friend has now catalogued your wife’s body into his own personal spank bank? Now every time he and your wife interact she’s going to be wondering in what capacity is he seeing her. Is she his friend’s wife that he respects? Or is he going to be thinking about how nice her body is under her clothes?
YTA… here’s why: You were aware even before he asked to see the photo again that your wife wouldn’t be comfortable with others seeing that photo, otherwise you wouldn’t have said whoops and scrolled away. And yet, you violated your wife’s expectation of privacy, and more than that you let your friend objectify and sexualise your wife. Going back to get a better look and then praising you for your “win” is absolutely both those things. He doesn’t have to say anything sexual for the conversation to be inherently sexual in nature. (If it wasn’t sexual, why were you hiding the photo? )
Surely you can see how upsetting it would be for her that you dismissed her comfort and privacy and allowed your friend to view her in a way that she didn’t appreciate. Instead of setting boundaries with your friend saying “hey man that’s my wife. Don’t talk like that,” when he called you a winner or even better saying “Sorry, no, she wouldn’t be comfortable with me showing you that photo”, you laughed alone with it like it was okay, further encouraging him to continue acting that way to your wife. Now she’s going to feel uncomfortable around that friend and more than that she probably wont feel like she can trust you to do anything to protect her from him. And why should she? You prioritized his requests over her comfort.
Some people may like this kind of interaction, they enjoy the flattery, from whomever it comes from… but your wife absolutely OBVIOUSLY does not, and let’s be real, you knew that before he asked to see the photo. Even if you weren’t 100% for sure how she’d react, you were at least on some level aware she’d be uncomfortable or you wouldn’t have scrolled away and said whoops. You knew from the beginning that he wasn’t supposed to see that picture and yet you let him see it a second time, so yeah… YTA. Apologize. Learn from this mistake and in the future stand up for your wife. She’ll appreciate it.
So does your wife wear the bikini on vacation for thousands of strangers to see?
I don’t kinda get it at times.
I mean I can see both sides. In the end no big deal in my mind so I am going to say NTA.
INFO: Was there an understanding between you and your wife that the photo was meant to be private?
Some people actin like yall ain’t ever met women and you are married! You don’t gotta tell your wife everything, and only a dummy would tell his wife that it’s a compliment. Frat boy behavior bro yta
YTA. Why are you letting your friend oogle over your wife?
You like your friends checking out your wife and disrespectful you like that?😂😂 grow a pair
YTA but she’s now expressed a boundary, and hopefully you will do better about not crossing her boundaries in the future.
ESH. I see where your wife is coming from and initially thought it was weird what your friend did as a woman but ultimately it was harmless so probably wasn’t worth mentioning to her in the first place.
meh…. I agree with the guy below who said “your wife says YTA so YTA. Other than that, dont tell your wife about things like that. It never works out and YTA every time whether you truly are or not.
Women are weird about things like that. They want to be beautiful and they want everybody to see they are beautiful …. but sometimes they dont want anybody to actually acknowledge it (other than their SO). If it was a nudie or the guy got raunchy about it I would say YTA if you didnt “rough him up” a bit over it but as it is, according to you, I would say live and learn, no harm no foul.
Go home and ravage your beautiful woman …
As for the other commenters…..bring it on ….I know I know….
YTA.
You’re wife sent the bikini selfie for your eyes only. Accidentally scrolling to it was understandable since it was part of the beach vacation pictures. But letting your friend scroll back up to it was a huge no-no. And you 100% do not tell your wife about it and expect her to take it as a compliment.
I can’t provide an honest answer unless I see the picture first.
Depends if the wife uploads bikini pictures to her social media, if she’s not that type of girl to do that then yes YTA but if she does then it’s not that deep
Ew. He basically just went back to her photo, knowing it was probably your wife, and indicated his sexual attraction toward her. In front of you. To you. Yeah, I’d feel a little skeeved about that too, especially after finding out you didn’t even so much as go, “That’s my wife, keep that shit to yourself.” If anyone is supposed to squash that behavior, it would be my husband. YTA
NTA – if she wears a bikini in public , to the beach, then the ‘image’ is one that anyone could see.
If it were a private day, she doens’t wear a bikini (at all or not often) and this was maybe a sexy pose just for you, then YTA.
Just talk to your wife about it, explain why you thought it was genuinely not a problem (you were wearing it in public, I’m proud of the way you look, etc.), get her side and feelings on it, and then lesson learned going forward.
It sounds like op didn’t know what friend was scrolling back to until he was already there. Also how many people saw her in person in the bikini? This all sounds like unnecessary drama…ages def check out
YTA. She sent that photo to you and only you. It doesn’t matter that she later wore that bikini in a public setting. That pose, that setting, that lighting, that smile were meant for your eyes o ly. You violated her trust by showing it to someone else. When you said whoops and your friend didn’t respect that and you went back, you chose your friend over your wife. Get better friends who aren’t creeps like that, btw.
Why tf would you tell your wife that? YTA. Weird thing for your buddy to say sbout your wife tho, a one noght stand is one thing but my friend’s wife is an unsexual object, like a lamp
Yeah, nothing sexual, he was talking about her soul and great manners. C’mon, just admit it: you were AH, and need to apologize. YTA
YTA for allowing your friend to sexualize your wife
Yta. Context matters. You were at this vacation together, so sending that photo wasn’t meant to show you her good time at the beach, but rather one obviously focused on her body. This makes it rather intimate. Then your buddy objectifies her (obviously photo is meant that way, but only for you to do so), and you pass that information on like its a win, which gives the impression that you really do objectify her, and see her primary value as being attractive. You’re a winner because your wife is hot? What about everything else in the relationship?
Furthermore, your friend definitely crossed a boundary, if someone did that to me I would feel super violated that they had balls to look at a picture obviously not meant for them (I assume you tried to scroll quickly to avoid the picture being seen).
YTA. You don’t respect your partner nor yourself. Another man just infiltrated that trust and made you scroll back to a picture of your wife in a bikini, you willingly did so. He didn’t have to say anything inherently sexual for him to be weird and you to be even weirder for allowing him that space in the first place.
I feel like you know the answer.
My partner wouldn’t give a fuck if this happened with her but everyone is different.
Just know that your wife doesn’t like it and don’t let it happen in the future.
YTA because you should know better about what your wife likes/doesn’t like
Weirdo
YTA. Yes she probably wore that bikini on the beach in front of strangers, however she sent you that photo as a woman when I send my man pictures in lingerie or swim suits they are seductive and sexy and absolutely something I would expect him to keep private. I don’t think the comment your friend made was bad, but you shouldn’t have allowed him to go back to her photo. As a woman I would feel violated if I sent my man a private photo and he was showing his friends.
She sent her husband a photo. He accidentally show his friend, his friend wanted to see the photo again and was allowed scroll back. She’s feeling violated because……she sent HER HUSBAND a photo.
Of course YTA. Albeit not really. But you did marry this uptight prude.
It’s not a big deal. Just don’t make it a big deal out of it either, just say sorry and move on.
People here are very young and these forms tend to become echo chambers agreeing with the first Strong opinion
When another guy tells you that “you’re lucky” for having a wife like that, he’s telling you that he’d gladly bang your wife.
So yeah, it was sexual.
And yeah, YTA for allowing him to have another look at something that wasn’t meant for him.
YTA Because she’s upset about it.
But really, I wouldn’t care that much and I’m definitely pretty protective of my Wife and our privacy.