So l (20f) found out the man who l thought was my father was actually my step dad and that l was a result of an affair that my mum had with a minor while she was 31. I didn’t know how to process the whole situation at all and all of a sudden l was immediately introduced to my biological dads side of the family. My bio dad we will call him Carlton, reached out to me first because according to him he wanted to meet me and couldn’t keep up the lie.
After a few months, his sister and her daughter got into an accident and passed away. That was when he came from America to attend the funeral and that was when l met him. He was happy to see me but still distraught from the whole accident. He greeted my mum and introduced me to his wife whom l wanted to hate but she was really kind to me. After the funeral we said our good byes and he went to speak to my mum for a bit… he was holding her back while speaking to her and that’s just made me uncomfortable and his wife wasn’t bothered by it so l just shrugged it off.
He also came to visit me at my home where l stay with my mum and older siblings. And when his wife called because she was on her way back to America, he handed me the phone to talk to her so we can bond. And surprisingly the conversation was easy but a bunch of weird messages kept popping up so curiously got the best of me and l clicked on the messages. I was shocked. He was talking to multiple women… some were married some single and he had two more sons with another women on his phone. I just screenshot everything and sent it to myself.
A couple of months passed by and Carlton didn’t contact me or tell me had left for America but l still maintained contact with his wife and three daughters.
One day l just decided to used my best friend’s phone to send these screenshots to the wife. When the news finally spread, the wife spoke to the elders and was angry that someone would do something like this . My family agrees and says that it was an invasion of privacy and it wasn’t the person place to send that.
And Carlton has been more present in my life after the scandal.. l don’t know if he’s genuinely interested in my life or he knows it’s me and he’s present cause of guilt
So Reddit did l mess up my approach or it wasn’t my place to say anything at all?
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: So l (20f) found out the man who l thought was my father was actually my step dad and that l was a result of an affair that my mum had with a minor while she was 31. I didn’t know how to process the whole situation at all and all of a sudden l was immediately introduced to my biological dads side of the family. My bio dad we will call him Carlton, reached out to me first because according to him he wanted to meet me and couldn’t keep up the lie.
After a few months, his sister and her daughter got into an accident and passed away. That was when he came from America to attend the funeral and that was when l met him. He was happy to see me but still distraught from the whole accident. He greeted my mum and introduced me to his wife whom l wanted to hate but she was really kind to me. After the funeral we said our good byes and he went to speak to my mum for a bit… he was holding her back while speaking to her and that’s just made me uncomfortable and his wife wasn’t bothered by it so l just shrugged it off.
He also came to visit me at my home where l stay with my mum and older siblings. And when his wife called because she was on her way back to America, he handed me the phone to talk to her so we can bond. And surprisingly the conversation was easy but a bunch of weird messages kept popping up so curiously got the best of me and l clicked on the messages. I was shocked. He was talking to multiple women… some were married some single and he had two more sons with another women on his phone. I just screenshot everything and sent it to myself.
A couple of months passed by and Carlton didn’t contact me or tell me had left for America but l still maintained contact with his wife and three daughters.
One day l just decided to used my best friend’s phone to send these screenshots to the wife. When the news finally spread, the wife spoke to the elders and was angry that someone would do something like this . My family agrees and says that it was an invasion of privacy and it wasn’t the person place to send that.
And Carlton has been more present in my life after the scandal.. l don’t know if he’s genuinely interested in my life or he knows it’s me and he’s present cause of guilt
So Reddit did l mess up my approach or it wasn’t my place to say anything at all?
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How exactly did you get this information about these women from glancing at their text messages?
some were married some single and he had two more sons with another women on his phone.
That was clever though, using your best friends phone.
The truth is out. What they do with it is their problem now. You managed to expose the truth without revealing your identity or causing extreme drama.
Good for you, you didn’t mess up.
What happened to step-dad?
So, did your stepmother stay with him?
Why would your mom let a minor knock her up? That’s crazy. NTA! You did the right thing.
nah you didn’t mess up, you handed that man his karma on a silver platter. you didn’t expose some stranger, you exposed your bio dad who dragged you into this whole mess. if anything, you cleaned up a bit of his trash.
So, let me get this right… your mom got pregnant with you after raping a kid. Then the kid she raped reached out “suddenly” to introduce himself apropos of… nothing apparently outside of “he couldn’t keep the lie” of the kid caused by him being raped by your mom even though he’s apparently in an entirely different country from you. Then his sister and daughter die in your country so he just swans on over for the funeral and meets you and introduces you to his wife who you want to hate because he got married to someone after your mom raped him. Then his wife goes back to America, but he just decides to chill wherever you are for an indefinite amount of time hooking up with locals in a way that you can see everything out of a single glance at his Whatsapp messages. So you blow him up for cheating to his wife using your best friend’s phone and she goes to the “elders” about it.
Like… if you’re going to use AI to make up a story, maybe use one that’s at least a little coherent? And if it isn’t AI BS, it is just wild that you’re more upset with the guy your mom raped when he was a kid than your mom.
Why would he feel guilty towards you after you outed him?
Why did you wait to release the information?
I feel like there is a lot glossed over & more to the story
This is bad AI.
>He greeted my mum and introduced me to his wife who I wanted to hate but she was really kind to me
Really? OP wants to hate some almost random woman married to the man she hardly knows except that he was her own mothers groomed sexual victim?
Wasn’t your place. And why do you have so much hard feelings towards him and not your creeper ass mom???
A ‘relationship with a minor’ is rape & a crime. Call it what it is.
I feel like no one is responding appropriately to anything in this story!!! OP finds out that her dad isn’t really her dad and that she was the product of her mom literally raping someone, and the solution is to ignore that and focus on how she is suddenly a part of bio-dad’s life. Weird. It doesn’t sound like she was asked if she wanted to meet him or have a relationship, she was just trust into his life. She meets him and his wife, and suddenly she’s bonding with his wife, because she was nice to her. Weird. Then her bio dad is encouraging this relationship with his wife, who I guess is technically her step mom, but she never really got a chance to decide if she wanted her to have that role. Okay, still weird. This reveals to her that he’s been cheating on “step mom”. So she concocts a way to reveal this to step mom and instead of step mom being upset at bio dad, she’s upset at “whoever would do this”. Extremely weird. And at the end of the day, OP is wondering if she went about it the wrong way, like she should have let the truth out, but maybe differently. I don’t know if she made the right call or not, but this whole situation is so weird, it really doesn’t matter to me. I feel like OP is a passive observer to her own life, and the one choice she made in this whole story was done in the most passive way possible.