My husband and I have a three year old. After he turned one we started asking everyone to start enunciating their words correctly when talking to our son. We hadn’t had a problem with anyone except my husbands moms side of the family (MIL and 2 sisters). Sometimes when we would say something to them they would just say “okay” correct themselves a couple times then go right back to not enunciating. Other times they would just pretend they didn’t hear us, say “whatever”, or one time MIL rolled her eyes at my husband when he told her to stop. The couple times I’ve said something I’ve gotten a blank stare and they walk away.
It not just one or two words wrong it’s almost every other sentence they say wrong. For example our son with say “ne ne” for candy and they’ll repeat that instead of saying candy and so on for all the mispronounced words and sentences he says. Other than my husband and I they were the ones that saw him the most. There was time it was almost everyday they would see him (they live 30 seconds away from us) so we really wanted them to talk normally with him to help with his speech.
We stopped for a while asking them to stop because we were getting tired of repeating ourselves to them until a few months ago we started asking again because his speech wasn’t getting better.
Our son ended up having to start speech therapy about a month ago for his enunciation because most people can’t understand what he’s saying unless my husband or I translate for him.
A couple days ago we found out through a friend that the in-laws have a running joke and has been making fun of us and our three year old when we are not around. They have been lying to others and saying they’ve only baby talked once to him and they say baby talk is not mispronouncing words and sentences. After we found this out my husband sent his mom a not so nice text saying we knew about what they’ve been saying and that they can do dinners without us (we were supposed to go over that night for dinner).
After that text was sent my husbands step dad was waiting at our house when my husband pulled in and started yelling in my husbands face that they “do everything for us and to find someone else for a ride next time” (My husbands a farmer and sometimes needs rides to his truck or tractor so his siblings will give him a ride otherwise we don’t like to ask for favors from them because they have said some offhanded comments before). My husband got in his face as well and said he won’t ask again but what does rides have to do with respecting what we want for our kids? Along with some swearing from both of them. After that, FIL didn’t say anything and just walked back to his truck and left.
Our kids are the 1st and only grandkids.
So…are we the assholes?
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My husband and I have a three year old. After he turned one we started asking everyone to start enunciating their words correctly when talking to our son. We hadn’t had a problem with anyone except my husbands moms side of the family (MIL and 2 sisters). Sometimes when we would say something to them they would just say “okay” correct themselves a couple times then go right back to not enunciating. Other times they would just pretend they didn’t hear us, say “whatever”, or one time MIL rolled her eyes at my husband when he told her to stop. The couple times I’ve said something I’ve gotten a blank stare and they walk away.
It not just one or two words wrong it’s almost every other sentence they say wrong. For example our son with say “ne ne” for candy and they’ll repeat that instead of saying candy and so on for all the mispronounced words and sentences he says. Other than my husband and I they were the ones that saw him the most. There was time it was almost everyday they would see him (they live 30 seconds away from us) so we really wanted them to talk normally with him to help with his speech.
We stopped for a while asking them to stop because we were getting tired of repeating ourselves to them until a few months ago we started asking again because his speech wasn’t getting better.
Our son ended up having to start speech therapy about a month ago for his enunciation because most people can’t understand what he’s saying unless my husband or I translate for him.
A couple days ago we found out through a friend that the in-laws have a running joke and has been making fun of us and our three year old when we are not around. They have been lying to others and saying they’ve only baby talked once to him and they say baby talk is not mispronouncing words and sentences. After we found this out my husband sent his mom a not so nice text saying we knew about what they’ve been saying and that they can do dinners without us (we were supposed to go over that night for dinner).
After that text was sent my husbands step dad was waiting at our house when my husband pulled in and started yelling in my husbands face that they “do everything for us and to find someone else for a ride next time” (My husbands a farmer and sometimes needs rides to his truck or tractor so his siblings will give him a ride otherwise we don’t like to ask for favors from them because they have said some offhanded comments before). My husband got in his face as well and said he won’t ask again but what does rides have to do with respecting what we want for our kids? Along with some swearing from both of them. After that, FIL didn’t say anything and just walked back to his truck and left.
Our kids are the 1st and only grandkids.
So…are we the assholes?
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> I might be the asshole for telling the in laws not to do something they want to do with my son
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
If your sons speech is so bad that you jad o start speed therapy then your in laws should be encouraging him to speak correctly. It sounds like it might be time to completely cut contract with them.
Big NTA here.
You sound like you are doing the right thing, and as parents you have the final say on how to bring up your kids. Other relatives have an issue with that? Cut them off. You heard that right. Bringing up a child is hard enough, you don’t need people undermining your efforts.
ESH. Out of all the people your kid interacts with, a couple of people baby-talking isn’t going to have any effect on his speech development. It’s not a hill to die on. Also your inlaws shouldn’t be bad-mouthing you, either behind your back or in your (husband’s) face.
NTA, if they can’t respect your wishes with your kid then they do not get to see your kid. Then there’s the extra assholishness of them telling other people they don’t baby talk to your kid and making fun of you. Good on your husband for standing up to them, stick to your guns.
OMG, calm down and don’t worry about your ILs talking baby talk to your baby. It’s not going to make him a babbling idiot.
NTA. Baby talk is annoying and unhelpful in speech development. You’re protecting your kid. Start translating to your kid whenever they do it. “Oh, grandma is asking if you want CANDY. Would you like a piece of candy? Yum, so delicious! Can you say “candy”? Show grandma how we say “candy”. Great job!”
I’d also be annoying and petty and only talk to them in baby voice every time they do it to my kid. But I’m also an AH.
Nta, obviously. Especially after your in laws made fun of you behind your backs. My cousin had a similar problem where her parents used baby talk with her kid bc they thought it was “sooo cute” and “big words are too hard for her at this age!” Despite the kid being perfectly able to speak normal words. My cousin managed to make them stop and the kid could have full conversations at age 2.
NTA. It’s not really about the baby talk when it comes to your husband’s family, it’s lack of respect and lack of boundaries. I bet this isn’t the only interaction where they have shown this lack of respect, it’s just happens to be the most consistent.
YTA. It ain’t that serious.
The irony here is they did the same thing with their son growing up and he turned out fine enough for you to marry.
YTA, it’s not doing any harm and not worth arguing about
NTA. They can talk to each other like that if they wish.
Info: How often does your son see your in-laws? Has the speech therapist said that his delay is due to some people baby-talking around him?
If he’s only seeing them periodically it seems unlikely to me that their baby-talk is to blame for or is exacerbating his delays, but I’m not a professional!
NTA
NTA, but, IMO, if they’re the only people not speaking proper English to your child, that’s not the reason for his speech therapy. So maybe a little AH for blaming them for that. They’re wrong for not respecting your wishes, but if everyone else but them is speaking correctly, that’s not likely the source of his problem.
NTA I think people don’t realise when your child needs speach therapy the child needs EVERYONE in their life to be consistent with language.
Absolutely not. You’re doing what any good parent should, advocating for your child and setting boundaries that support his development. It’s not controlling or overprotective to ask people to speak properly around a child who is struggling with speech. The fact that your in-laws mock you behind your back and still refuse to respect something so simple says more about them than it does about you.
Speech delays are real, and early intervention matters. You’ve asked repeatedly, and they chose to ignore you, make jokes, and even escalate things when called out. That’s not love or support, that’s disrespect. You’re protecting your son’s well-being, and honestly, that’s what parenting is all about. Keep standing your ground.
NTA.
Start saying “Silly Grandma! She doesn’t want to say…” every time she uses baby talk.
NTA in regards to asking in laws to help with improving your son’s speech.
Sending a text though was the wrong move. Why did your husband not have a conversation with his mother? An actual conversation face to face would have gone better than a text.
YTA It’s not an issue to die on the hill for, the gpa rents are loving on your child for god sake let them! Your child will speak “properly” in his own time and with your love. You must be first time parents, a one year old is not giving speeches at the podium! Relax and enjoy your blessings
I was in a similar situation growing up- my thickly accented Hungarian father/family was trying to teach me to talk… long story short I almost failed first grade. NTA – Good thing to nip this in the bud now!
NTA- as a mama who has a child in speech therapy the therapist will literally tell you to talk to a child like you would talk to any other adult person so they don’t have that baby talk. Baby talking a baby actually can mess up their speech growing up. So NTA. They can k_ick rocks.
My ex’s family used to use baby talk with my daughter. I didn’t say anything to them but I’d correct them— clarify to my daughter what they were actually saying. My daughter had an extensive vocabulary while very young, and they began to say that she sounds like one of the kids on Barney (the purple dinosaur). I believe it was meant to be an insult but I thanked them, accepting that as a compliment. (Haha)
Speaking baby-talk hinders the child’s progress, I think. I had my niece for the summer over 2020. She was four but had the vocabulary of a two year old, so she was in speech therapy. (My half-sister is ridiculous with the baby talk). Anyway, my niece was famous for tantrums because she didn’t know how to express herself. During the first tantrum she threw that summer, I took her to my room and let her scream herself out while I sat at my computer. When she quieted down, I gave her a four-minute time out, and then we had a discussion. I asked her why she was screaming. She had a really hard time explaining, but I helped her, and I told her that when she screams, no one listens so she has to learn to communicate. Every time she started to get worked up after that discussion, I would tell her to stop, breathe, and communicate. We talked like this the entire summer. Near the end, my half-sister called and my niece answered. Her mother kept questioning if it was her or her older sister because she didn’t understand how she was speaking so clearly. In just ONE SUMMER.
I think that just supports my theory that baby talk is useless. NTA a million times.
NTA but I’ve never met a 3yo i COULD understand. I wouldn’t stress too much about that
YTA – lighten up a bit. This is not that serious. Them “baby talking” is not what caused your toddler to have to have speech therapy.
It seems like you need the family to help you out with things, like rides and stuff…
Maybe dont’ bite the hand that feeds you..
NTA & anyone who can’t respect a parent’s wishes can kick dirt imo.
NTA, you had a simple request for them to not baby-talk to your son and they wouldn’t listen. They were gossiping about you behind your back and stomping all over your boundaries, which is unacceptable.
Do your in laws know that he needs speech therapy? Do they understand that his speech development is behind other kids his age? That could make a big difference with getting them to cooperate.
Your son’s speech delay isn’t because of his grandparents’ baby talking. If they are making fun of him, then by all means, restrict their access to him. They should respect your wishes, but you should realize that it’s okay to use some non-standard pronunciation with a child his age.
I would start baby talking to the ILs lol
YTA Baby talk is slower, varies is pitch and is overall happier sounding which is actually beneficial to the baby. It’s also universally done across all cultures and languages. It in NO WAY contributed to any sort of speech impediment. You sound like the kind of parents who sterilize everything before your kid touches it and then wonder why they develop allergies. Remember your in-laws raised your husband well enough that you wanted to marry him!
YTA Baby talk is slower, varies is pitch and is overall happier sounding which is actually beneficial to the baby. It’s also universally done across all cultures and languages. It in NO WAY contributed to any sort of speech impediment. You sound like the kind of parents who sterilize everything before your kid touches it and then wonder why they develop allergies. Remember your in-laws raised your husband well enough that you wanted to marry him!
Y’all need to chill out. Your kid is going to learn to talk just fine. Your in-laws are showing perfectly harmless affection towards your toddler—it doesn’t have to be exactly the same way you show your affection.
gentle YTA, you’re right that it helps to speak clearly but the baby talk alone was not causation for speech therapy. good on you for getting early intervention. not the hill to die on, but hopefully you can use adhering to his speech plan as a crutch for asking them to back off the baby talk more sternly.
but sincerely just to reiterate do not create a causal link between your kid having speech therapy and one set of adults speaking baby talk with him. plenty of kids need early intervention and the most important thing is you accepted that support EARLY.
It’s a pretty simple request, and they’re the adults, but they don’t even have the mental capacity to do it.
Now, the fact that your kid needs to go to speech therapy because he can’t pronounce some words just shows how serious your request is, and how harmful it is that they keep talking to him like a baby. I can bet anything that if you didn’t deal with that speech problem now, in the near future your in-laws would be the first ones to throw it in your and your husband’s face—like it’s your fault your kid is developing slowly.
NTA. With the way your father-in-law reacted at the end, it’s clear they won’t change. The best thing is to reduce contact with them, so they stop harming your son and his language development.
NTA. My husband to this day has issues with pronunciation and a mild speech impediment because of how much people baby talked to him as a child. It’s incredibly developmentally important to speak to young children correctly and not baby talk them so that they CAN actually learn the language. In my opinion, baby talk should be reserved exclusively for adorable animals and pets.
NTA. If they can’t or won’t respect you rules for interacting with your child (and yes you are allowed to set rules around that) then they need to not get to be around your kids.
NOT AT ALL- so happy to read a post that the husband stands beside his wife with problems with his side of the family. You both are doing the best for your child- this will hurt them more than you since you have the only grandchild. I think they will come around at least when they are in front of you both, but this was an important stand to take moving forward that they need to respect your parenting rules.
NTA. Thanks for reminding me that I need to tell my fam this. We haven’t baby talked since newborn days. Obviously I’m biased but I can understand my 2yo pretty well. His speech is where it needs to be. I like to credit the lack of baby talk.
Sorry you are having family drama. – a fellow parent of the first born (great) grandchild
NTA, they clearly don’t respect you or your parenting. The fact that they’re making fun of you and your child tells you all you need to know about their character.
NTA, they clearly don’t respect you or your parenting. The fact that they’re making fun of you and your child tells you all you need to know about their character.
NTA…100%!
Baby talk is fine for actual babies (up to a point, that is), but I mean “baby talk” in the sense of higher pitched voices, which human adults seem to do naturally, with little pet names for the baby [think “precious” “snookums” and such], but after about one year old, no.
My own mother—back in the 60s, mind you—refused to talk baby talk to me and my siblings because she didn’t want us to learn to talk that way. I was the same way with my kids. When one of them said a word incorrectly but in an infinitely cute way, I’d just inwardly laugh, file it away for later, and say “You want X?” They’d nod their head and we went on from there.
Now, their “cute words”, as well as mine and my siblings, are the subject of family lore and not part of their actual vocabularies as adults, thank-you-very-much. Stand your ground, OP. Your in-laws are the TA, not you.
NTA…100%!
Baby talk is fine for actual babies (up to a point, that is), but I mean “baby talk” in the sense of higher pitched voices, which human adults seem to do naturally, with little pet names for the baby [think “precious” “snookums” and such], but after about one year old, no.
My own mother—back in the 60s, mind you—refused to talk baby talk to me and my siblings because she didn’t want us to learn to talk that way. I was the same way with my kids. When one of them said a word incorrectly but in an infinitely cute way, I’d just inwardly laugh, file it away for later, and say “You want X?” They’d nod their head and we went on from there.
Now, their “cute words”, as well as mine and my siblings, are the subject of family lore and not part of their actual vocabularies as adults, thank-you-very-much. Stand your ground, OP. Your in-laws are the TA, not you.