So this happened three weeks ago, but my aunt is still acting weird about it, and it’s made me wonder if I really did overreact. I (15F) was on a family vacation with my mom, aunt (40F), grandparents, cousin brother, and my brother. On the last night, I had a pretty bad accident and severely injured my leg. I won’t go into the details because it is gory and irrelevant. My mom rushed me to the nearest hospital, and while the doctors were cleaning my wounds, she took pictures to send to my dad. At that time, my aunt had gone out to meet an old friend. My grandma told her what happened, and in a panic, my aunt called my mom. To calm her down (because what she was imagining was apparently way worse), my mom sent her the pictures.
The next morning, while we were on the train ride back home, my other aunt called to check on me. I had a long conversation with her, and then my grandad asked me about what the doctors had said and stuff. Then out of nowhere, aunt forwarded them to the family group chat, captioned “my name’s vacation scars.” I saw it almost immediately, and I was PISSED. I asked her to delete them. She tried justifying it by saying everyone already knew, it was just the family gc and that it wasn’t a matter of privacy since it was just my leg. I went off at her in anger and asked her if she would have the same reaction if i sent pictures of her son’s injuries the next time he hurt himself and how insensitive and unfunny her caption was. I also called her an attention seeker. Thankfully, my mom backed me up and the pictures were deleted. Only my cousin (my other aunt’s daughter) had seen them, and she was literally traumatized.
But then my aunt started acting like she was the victim, whining about how we’re all “growing up too much” and don’t value or love her anymore. Later, while my mom and aunt went out to buy food, my grandparents started talking to me. They took my aunt’s side completely, saying things like “we’re family, what privacy?” and “it’s just your leg, what consent?” Mind you they hadn’t even seen the pictures, so they had no idea how bad they were. I told my mom about this later and she said it was a generation gap thing, plus in our culture, respecting elders (aka being submissive AF and never questioning them) is treated like the ultimate virtue.
A few days later, my aunt invited me to her place because she was making my favorite food. But even then, her behavior was… off. My mom also mentioned that she hasn’t been calling or texting her much since it happened (they’re usually super close), but she doesn’t blame me, she just said maybe I could’ve been more polite. Then today, I was at my grandma’s house with all my cousins. My aunt came to pick up her son, and I had my noise-canceling headphones on. She was standing near me saying something, and when I took them off and asked, “Sorry, were you talking to me?” she snapped, “No no no no, that would offend you, wouldn’t it?”.
Every interaction with her is just super weird now.
So, AITA?
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So this happened three weeks ago, but my aunt is still acting weird about it, and it’s made me wonder if I really did overreact. I (15F) was on a family vacation with my mom, aunt (40F), grandparents, cousin brother, and my brother. On the last night, I had a pretty bad accident and severely injured my leg. I won’t go into the details because it is gory and irrelevant. My mom rushed me to the nearest hospital, and while the doctors were cleaning my wounds, she took pictures to send to my dad. At that time, my aunt had gone out to meet an old friend. My grandma told her what happened, and in a panic, my aunt called my mom. To calm her down (because what she was imagining was apparently way worse), my mom sent her the pictures.
The next morning, while we were on the train ride back home, my other aunt called to check on me. I had a long conversation with her, and then my grandad asked me about what the doctors had said and stuff. Then out of nowhere, aunt forwarded them to the family group chat, captioned “my name’s vacation scars.” I saw it almost immediately, and I was PISSED. I asked her to delete them. She tried justifying it by saying everyone already knew, it was just the family gc and that it wasn’t a matter of privacy since it was just my leg. I went off at her in anger and asked her if she would have the same reaction if i sent pictures of her son’s injuries the next time he hurt himself and how insensitive and unfunny her caption was. Thankfully, my mom backed me up and the pictures were deleted. Only my cousin (my other aunt’s daughter) had seen them, and she was literally traumatized.
But then my aunt started acting like she was the victim, whining about how we’re all “growing up too much” and don’t value or love her anymore. Later, while my mom and aunt went out to buy food, my grandparents started talking to me. They took my aunt’s side completely, saying things like “we’re family, what privacy?” and “it’s just your leg, what consent?” Mind you they hadn’t even seen the pictures, so they had no idea how bad they were. I told my mom about this later and she said it was a generation gap thing, plus in our culture, respecting elders (aka being submissive AF and never questioning them) is treated like the ultimate virtue.
A few days later, my aunt invited me to her place because she was making my favorite food. But even then, her behavior was… off. My mom also mentioned that she hasn’t been calling or texting her much since it happened (they’re usually super close), but she doesn’t blame me, she just said maybe I could’ve been more polite. Then today, I was at my grandma’s house with all my cousins. My aunt came to pick up her son, and I had my noise-canceling headphones on. She was standing near me saying something, and when I took them off and asked, “Sorry, were you talking to me?” she snapped, “No no no no, that would offend you, wouldn’t it?”.
Every interaction with her is just super weird now.
So, AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1- Asking my aunt to delete the pictures of my injuries she posted without my consent and yelling at her in the process.
2- I might have overreacted, and hurt her.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA.
She shouldn’t have shared pictures of your accident without consent. That’s just a morally incorrect thing to do.
NTA. Even if you’re being a little sensitive, she needs to be an adult and own up to upsetting you instead of being passive aggressive posthoc.
You are not!! I can understand if it doesn’t seem like a big deal. However, blatantly striking against you once you express that you don’t want that is crazy to me. It’s about respect. I also grew up in a family where kids were meant to be ‘seen and not heard’ and I was consistently fought with for speaking up. It may be awkward with your aunt for a while, but stick to your guns, it wasn’t right of her to do. And if it was gruesome it never should have met eyes that didn’t want to see it, gc is definitely not the way to go.
NTA, she didn’t just cross a boundary, she trampled it, posted it to the group chat, and got mad when you dared it to set it back up. Consent doesn’t vanish just because you’re related, and treating your trauma like a family meme isn’t love.
Nta. Your aunt sound incredibly emotionally immature. It was not her place to share pictures of your injury.
I’d go LC or NC. Life is too short for people that cause unnecessary drama. She definitely overreacted to a fair boundary.
NTA
Sharing pictures of anyone without their consent is not acceptable. Especially in the context of something so graphic.
Thankfully the graphic content was deleted before most people saw it.
NTA. Sharing injury pictures is rude to the person whose privacy was violated and to anybody who didn’t want to see a gross injury picture that day. Her being butthurt about not being allowed to post that stuff wherever she feels like is a her problem, not a you problem.
NTA
Your private medical problems are just that: private. You are the only one who has the right to share, or allow them to be shared, with anyone else.
Does dear old auntie take pics of the child as it’s crowning and share to social media? How about Cousin Sam’s hernia surgery pre stapling? Great Aunty Gert’s colonoscopy? No? Why not, auntie, we’re family, what privacy?
It sounds to me like you’re better off with auntie in a snit. I’m sorry your mom’s sad about auntie’s tantrum, though.
NAH
1 – yes, you absolutely can request that pics of you not be shared. I would however start with your mom who shared the pics first. If you do feel this strongly about photos, you need to start letting people know.
2 – you did come on a little strong out of the gate, your aunt wasn’t wrong for sharing pics to a family group chat. You don’t mention how big this chat is, but already a lot of people would have seen you become injured, so it wasn’t a secret, and it was a private family chat, not social media.
3 – you could/should have been more calm and also not come at her like she was obviously wrong, you’re just requesting your preference not to share those photos. She became defensive (defending HER position, as in I didn’t do anything wrong, which is true) but instead of saying that the point was you just prefer not to share them, not that you did anything wrong, you ‘went off on her in anger’. This was a difference of opinion but you came off as YOU’RE wrong, YOU disrespected my privacy, and to top it off you told her she was attention-seeking??
YOU need to calm down and apologize to your aunt for things going from zero to a hundred, and your aunt needs to apologize right back for not just doing as you asked.
NTA. Wow, she seriously crossed the line of your privacy. Not ok. She’s an AH.
NTA – Your aunt is proving you right by acting like a petulant child because she wasn’t allowed to do whatever she wanted. It is an issue of privacy and it isn’t your aunt’s place to share what happened to you.
Sooo NTA. Its YOUR body. It doesn’t matter who she sent pics to, that was a complete violation of you. I won’t even allow my normal pics to be shared anywhere with anyone. She was inappropriate and is trying to bully you now. Stand your ground with that firm gentle behavior you’ve already demonstrated. She’s acting like a petulant child. Soon, everyone should start saying to her “omg are you STILL upset about that? For goodness sake let it go!”. Perhaps you can be the lead on that: aunt jerk, are you still trying to take shots at me for that? How long ago was it now? Move on.
NTA. Looks like your aunt has some main character syndrome going on.
NTA – My guess is that your aunt didn’t think things through before posting, and then got called out for it my a young woman who she still thinks of as a child.