I am in the my early twenties, I do freelance designing and my boyfriend happens to have a brand. He asked me to design and supervise a clothing line for him. But now whenever I bring the question of my salary anytime he sort of brushes it off and forgets it. I dont want to go ask him for money, I dont want to sound desperate or needy but at the same time its my hard earned right and I actually did quite good work. But I think he should feel that way himself. Why do i need to ask over and over again.
AITA FOR ASKING MY BOYFRIEND FOR MY SALARY WHEN I FREELANCE FOR HIM
r/AITAH
Comments
I don’t think you are. In the first place you shouldn’t have to ask for the salary. If he values your talent and respects you as a person, he should even be the one to offer paying without you having to ask. He probably thinks he’s entitled to it since y’all are in a relationship but you need to set boundaries when it comes to things like this. Just my opinion tho
No money? No more work
Sounds like he’s using you….you def need to stand up for yourself and demand what you’re owed. Not the AH at all…
Designing a brand is not a small amount of work to do for free.
Personally that’s pretty close to a dealbreaker for me.
But stop working for him and when he asks, tell him he owes you X and hasn’t paid you for Y long.
Free GF exploitation is over.
You don’t have to ask over & over again. Rule # 1, don’t mix business with pleasure. He’s taking advantage of you, instead of supporting your career and compensating you accordingly. Next time, set clear boundaries and create a contract if you need to. I highly recommend working on boundaries and not being a people pleaser. Men don’t worry about this and women are still concerned about being seen as “mean” and potentially upsetting people. Do what you need to do to take care of you, and his reaction will be very telling.
Does he make it up in different ways?
NTA. No more work until this gets sorted.
NTA. You’re providing professional services, he should be paying you, especially since you didn’t offer to do it for free. Dating someone doesn’t mean working for exposure
Artists should always get the money up front.
Contract first and then an invoice followed by lawsuit. Otherwise, just say no. Don’t work for free.
He’s using you. He wouldn’t work for free
Invoice him
Info: did you quote your price up front? Does he have capital to pay you?
If not you’re not doing a good job as a freelancer, quote it up front and make clear agreements.
Good luck getting your money and salvaging the relationship, NTA just kinda backward there and this won’t workout either way (even if he pays you’ll know it wasn’t genuine, and if he doesn’t have it you’ll seem greedy etc.).
NTA, did you have a written contract? This person is showing you he doesn’t respect you, boyfriend or otherwise.
If you started working without discussing salary, he still should have offered to pay.
Stop working until you have a salary conversation that ends with a signed contract.
I’ve worked on some startups and have offered to delay my salary, but I was still accruing it and we always had a contract.
This is about you setting your own value. He’s already shown you what he thinks you’re worth. For me, that would be a relationship deal breaker.
This is a bus expense for his company. Invoice him.
NTA. Stop doing any more work for him. Tell him that you decided that it’s a bad idea to mix work and relationships.
Write out a fee bill. If you can’t make yourself stop doing any work for him, tell him that you expect 50% payment up front before work starts.
You need to value yourself. Stop letting him take advantage of you, because that’s exactly what he’s doing. He knows that he should be paying you but you are allowing him to get away with bad behavior.
Did you quote him before doing the work? It sounds like he expected the work to be done for free, which is unfair, but you should have spoken up and discussed payment before doing the work.
Don’t do any more for him and I’d be reconsidering his suitability as a boyfriend given he wants to take advantage of you. This is an unattractive trait.
Im confused – you mentioned youre freelance, but the talk about a salary.
Did he hire you as an employee or a contractor? Did you sign a contract? If he employed you as a contractor, send his company an invoice. If he hired you as an employee, then there are labour laws that cover this.
However, if he asked you, and you did the work with no contract or nothing in writing (even in text), then you might not be able to recoup your money. He can argue that he thought you were doing it as a favour (and maybe he actually thought that).
You need to have a big conversation with him about this.
A great auto mechanic (think Marisa Tomei-in-My-Cousin-Vinnie-knowledge) in my area had a sign on his shop wall saying: “Please don’t ask me for a ‘friend’ discount. I did a survey, & it revealed that my enemies rarely brought work to me.”
He’s the AH and he used you. Give him an invoice of what he owes you. In fact, if it’s more than him at his company, make sure the COO, accounting dept, etc… gets this bill. Let them all know you don’t work for free.
NTA. If he respected you and your abilities, you wouldn’t have to ask him for your pay at all, he would have paid by now.
He’s taking advantage of his romantic partner in a business dealing. This is a red flag about his trustworthiness; either he doesn’t see your work as being of value, or he’s inclined to steal from his subcontractors. Neither is a good look for him.
Was anything discussed as far as how much your services are?
If not, I’d ask him for a time to set aside your discuss how much your services are moving forward- for me and only me, if payment wasn’t discussed prior, then I wouldn’t be asking him for the money.
I’m not saying that you don’t deserve payment/. What I am saying is if payment for services wasn’t discussed before? I can see why he isn’t paying.
As a matter of fact, I’d stop doing services now.
Which by the way, you deserve to get paid for your time!
NTA
Give him an invoice with a 10% friends and family discount.
Send him an invoice.
Stop working for him.
If you’re freelancing, you should set the price beforehand. Don’t do any work until you agree to a fee
Why are you with him? He is using you.
Send him an invoice that says due on receipt and when he asks for more work tell him he’s on credit hold until it’s paid.
Put your foot down. He is saying your work isn’t worth anything. If bf is going to play businessman, then he needs to do it right.
Make him sign a designer’s contract, stating hourly rates, what that includes (like how many free revisions are permitted), how long he has to pay, and what he gets. This will protect both of you and eliminate misunderstandings. You can find sample contracts online.
I’m a retired graphic designer, so here’s a tip. If he’s doing a clothing line, tell him not to pull that old trick of going to a print shop and asking for a big discount to print samples on the promise of making the rest back with future orders when they’re successful. Any print shop that’s any good will laugh him right out of the shop. Any textile screen printing has most of the cost up front with setup, but many don’t know that and get an unhappy surprise.
Money or equity. That’s what you are owed. He needs to pick one
Did you have an upfront agreement for him to pay you for your work? If not, he probably assumed you would just be helping him out. If you did, are there text messages or terms written out anywhere? You’ll have to decide if it’s a deal breaker or you just don’t help him at all anymore without a written agreement.
He’s your boyfriend, not your husband. His business succeeding doesn’t have as much benefit for you as it would if you were married. He should be paying you for your service.
You shouldn’t have to ask. If he’s hired someone else he’d have had to pay them. Seems like he’s devaluing your work because you’re his gf. I mean fair is fair!
NTA. Just invoice him and be done with it. When he wants more free work, remind him he has outstanding invoices.
Does he do work for you, on your car, home or something else? If he does, do you pay him? This street goes both ways.
He doesn’t intend on paying you. He never did.
If you want to keep the relationship, insist on credit, and refuse to ever work for him again.
If you don’t care, then take him to small claims court.
NTA Give him an itemized invoice. No discounted rate. It is a business expense he should pay. Let him know there will be no more work done until the invoice is paid in full.
If he doesn’t pay you for your work, then he at least owes you a cut of the profits made off of your work. If he can’t even do that, then he has no respect for you or your time/hard work. I’d copyright your work and sue him if he uses it.
” Hey, I’ll just get straight to it. I need to be paid for the work I do. We agreed to that and you haven’t been giving me any money – this isn’t ok. Can you please xfer me my money today as I have necessities. “
If he says he thought it was free, ” No, you didn’t, that’s not what was agreed and you know it. My work was never free and I wouldn’t have replace work that cost me money to do free work. Please transfer this now, I dont want this to affect our relationship. “
INFO. Did you have an agreement to be paid?
Stop asking. Tell him no.
Anytime he brings it up say, “My rate is ___, let’s work out a payment plan and then we can talk specifics.”
He’s asking you to supervise a clothing line for him. That does not come for free. If he did not approach this as a joint business venture, that’s his problem, and a big fat warning sign that he does not value you or your skills. He just wants your free labor and to reap the benefits. It’s selfish and childish of him.
If you’re good at something,never do it for free:joker
Did you give him your rates before you accepted the job?
If he is selling your designs, you should be paid, period. This isn’t ambiguous at all. He is a boyfriend, not a spouse. His money is his money when he sells his products.
You are essentially unpaid labor. Keep in mind this is exactly how much he values you.
NTA. He just you; for sex and free designing. Move on from this nightmare.
HE’S NOT BRUSHING IT OFF & FORGETTING, HE’S TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU!!!!!! It’s not desperate or needy, it’s money HE OWES YOU FOR WORK!!!!!!!!!
YTA if you allow him to do it!!! NEVER do any work for him again, and collect what he owes you even if you have to do it through small claims court!!!!
And DUMP HIS ASS!!!
My boyfriend owns 2 businesses and regularly assumes I am just going to work for him for free whenever he needs it even though he has paid staff. He even had me help him cater an event at his place 1 week post op after having my uterus cut into. I drove us to Costco twice, worked for 6 hours making cheese trays, was a cater waiter on the day of the event all the while I am on medical leave from work. I didn’t even get a thank you. The resentment is high