using a throwaway to avoid work finding this. i (23F) work for a company in a pretty big city. i have a coworker (24F) that i sometimes go out to dinner with because we both enjoy going out to restaurants. for context, i moved to this city for this job and my coworker was born and raised here, so she often introduces me to restaurants she enjoys. yesterday, we made plans to go to a restaurant in downtown. i was driving us, and as every downtown city is, parking was hard to find. about a block away from the restaurant, there was an area where i could potentially park along the street. there were no signs saying not to park there, however the lack of cars in this particular area made me feel unsure if we were allowed to park here. i suggested that we try to find a spot further from the restaurant and we would just walk over (both of us are perfectly healthy and able to do the walk over so thats not an issue). my coworker protested, saying it would be fine to park there and nothing would happen and she didnt want to walk far. i protested, and she kept reminding me that shes from this city and she would know if you couldnt park there. i decided to just park there to avoid an argument. we go to dinner and walk back to my car and low and behold, there is a ticket on my windshield for parking in that zone. i was upset, and my coworker responded by saying its a bummer that the cops checked to see if people were parked there this time. i got upset and asked her if she knew that you were not supposed to park there. she started stuttering and trying to change the conversation, and knew she was lying. i confronted her and asked her why she would insist on me parking there when she knew i could get a ticket for it and she admitted that she didnt think anyone would check and see if there was parked there and that she didnt want to do the walk from farther away to the restaurant. i told her that because she put me in this situation, she needed to pay for the ticket. now my coworker is upset and saying that its not fair for me to ask her to pay for the parking ticket. am i the jerk for insisting she pay?
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using a throwaway to avoid work finding this. i (23F) work for a company in a pretty big city. i have a coworker (24F) that i sometimes go out to dinner with because we both enjoy going out to restaurants. for context, i moved to this city for this job and my coworker was born and raised here, so she often introduces me to restaurants she enjoys. yesterday, we made plans to go to a restaurant in downtown. i was driving us, and as every downtown city is, parking was hard to find. about a block away from the restaurant, there was an area where i could potentially park along the street. there were no signs saying not to park there, however the lack of cars in this particular area made me feel unsure if we were allowed to park here. i suggested that we try to find a spot further from the restaurant and we would just walk over (both of us are perfectly healthy and able to do the walk over so thats not an issue). my coworker protested, saying it would be fine to park there and nothing would happen and she didnt want to walk far. i protested, and she kept reminding me that shes from this city and she would know if you couldnt park there. i decided to just park there to avoid an argument. we go to dinner and walk back to my car and low and behold, there is a ticket on my windshield for parking in that zone. i was upset, and my coworker responded by saying its a bummer that the cops checked to see if people were parked there this time. i got upset and asked her if she knew that you were not supposed to park there. she started stuttering and trying to change the conversation, and knew she was lying. i confronted her and asked her why she would insist on me parking there when she knew i could get a ticket for it and she admitted that she didnt think anyone would check and see if there was parked there and that she didnt want to do the walk from farther away to the restaurant. i told her that because she put me in this situation, she needed to pay for the ticket. now my coworker is upset and saying that its not fair for me to ask her to pay for the parking ticket. am i the jerk for insisting she pay?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) the action that i took that should be judged is asking my coworker to pay for my parking ticket
2) i think my action may make me the asshole because its my car that got the parking ticket and not hers
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. She gambled on no one catching you but she didn’t tell you that. It’s only fair she pays since that gamble was unsuccessful simply because she didnt want to walk.
I would say NTA, because she definitely knew and it was shitty of her not to say anything just because she was too lazy to walk… but honestly I think you should probably split it 50 / 50, since in the end, you were the driver, and it is your responsibility to make the final decision and to take the risk of where you’re going to park…
If she didn’t want to walk any further, you could have dropped her off there, and then kept looking for a better parking spot that didn’t seem so suspicious to you.
Guess it depends on how much you like this co-worker, if you want to spend more time with her I would offer the 50/50 solution maybe?
ESH
She’s an ass for insisting she knows better, when she obviously doesn’t.
You are an ass for being an irresponsible driver; it’s YOUR decision where to park your car. As you now clearly see, “but she told me it would be okaaaayyyy” is not a valid reason to do stupid shit with your car.
Split the fine 50/50 and call it a learning experience.
ESH. While coworker gave you bad advice, you went against what you wanted to do and what you thought was right to avoid an argument.
I think the fair resolution is that you both pay half as you were both wrong.
It’s your car so the responsibility is with you I’m afraid. If she told you to go 60 and it turned out you were in a 40 zone would she be expected to pay your speeding ticket? No harm in asking but insisting is a bit of a stretch and you certainly would not win this battle if you took it to court.
Not sure I can really call you an AH but not sure I can fully absolve you either so I find myself stuck between No AHs and Everyone sucks. Think I’ll go NAH. Chalk it up to experience and next time remember that as it’s your car the onus is on you to ensure that you are not breaking any parking regulations.
NTA you only parked there on her insistence. At least now you know she isn’t trustworthy no matter how confident she is.
ESH. Your co-worker claimed that it was okay and is familiar with the area and you are not. She knew this and insisted it was okay. She should have offered to pay for the ticket. However, it isn’t as if you were in a foreign country and didn’t know the driving/parking rules. You didn’t think it was a good idea and should have followed your own instinct.
But you have another problem now– you have an awkward situation with a coworker. I would end the dinner dates, and if she asks to make plans, you are busy. Every.single.time.
NTA, it’s not cool to not inform people of the risks they’re about to take. She should have just paid it without you even having to ask, since she didn’t give you enough information to give informed consent to that situation. Good luck, I hope she comes around and does the right thing. She owes you dinner, at least.
ESH. If she’d told you the truth – that she didn’t think the cops would check and her reasoning – you’d have been entirely responsible because you would have known everything she knew and made your own decision.
You said yourself that you didn’t think you should park there and let yourself be talked into it, so I think you still have some responsibility here. Don’t let other people overrule your judgement unless they’ve got good evidence, like if she’d been able to point out a sign that said you could park there.
It is lousy that she just told you it was fine when she knew it was taking a risk, and she stinks for doing that, but as the driver you’re responsible for your car. You now know that you can’t trust her to tell you the truth if it slightly inconveniences her.
She should pay the whole thing but if you can get half from her you may have to settle for that. Lesson learned never to trust her again also never drive her again especially if she doesn’t pay.
My cousin took my dad somewhere and he ended up parking somewhere he knew he may get a ticket and he got one. I told my dad he should still pay for the ticket as he was doing him a favor and will need more from him. It was his fault but still, don’t want $50 to ruin a relationship.
Stupidity on both parts. Make her pay 50%
NTA…Because you took co-worker at her word.
But that would be the last time I took co-worker anywhere.
Yeah she has to pay, normally I’d say it was your responsibility as the driver but she lied to you this her fault!
ESH, she sucks for knowing the potential yet failing to mention the risk.
All while you also need to take accountability, she didn’t hold a gun to your head and say park here. You were driving, it’s your car, as the driver you make the decision regarding where you park your car. I get it, she told you it was fine, but if you questioned it, it seems as though you already knew it was a risk, don’t be afraid of an argument in the future, be afraid of the potential ticket, or tow. Because 100% an argument sucks way less. You both should pay half.
ESH. The driver is responsible. She is also being a bit of a knob but ultimately your car your choice.
ESH, you knew this was suspicious, you knew something was causing other people to not park here, and you decided to avoid an argument. You knew this was a risk, and you were in control of the vehicle.
>she kept reminding me that shes from this city and she would know if you couldnt park there
I live in a small “city” of around 30k people and I don’t know all the places I can and can’t park. That’s a stupid thing to get in an argument over.
The parking ticket was the cost of avoiding an argument. Ask her for half, and if she won’t pay it, she can drive from now on because she “knows where people can park.” If she won’t drive, don’t go.
She’s a selfish, lazy girl that lied to you and should absolutely pay for this ticket. Don’t back down. You may want to kick her sorry butt to the curb. She set you up. NTA
On the surface, it feels like her fault (especially for lying) and NTA. However, it depends on how obvious of a bad idea it was. Since you argued and tried to push the issue, then you knew somewhat and as the driver you could’ve gone to another spot no matter what she said. I would go 50/50 on the ticket rather than demanding she pay all of it. Especially if you have a good relationship where you go out all the time.
ESH. There was something that indicated that it was a no parking zone or you could contest the ticket. She lied to you and knew, but you still parked there against your better judgment. Ultimately, your car, your responsibility. Pay up or fight the ticket.