I (45m) married my 2nd wife (29f) a few years after my ex-wife (47f) divorced me. I’m thin while current wife is an the heavier side but my ex-wife is much heavier than her. I honestly prefer a woman to be on the heavier side. My wife has referred to my ex as “fat” multiple times, in a derogatory manner.
I asked my wife to stop body shaming my ex, and my wife accused me of still loving my ex. I love my wife but my ex is a good person and the mother of my children. I want my wife to know I love her but I don’t want to hear anyone insulting my ex. Am I the asshole ?
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You are NTA but your current wife sure is. I’m petty and would say something along the lines of “that body you’re shaming brought my children into this world what is your excuse?” But I doubt that’ll go over well.
Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted for this one, you’re NTA. It is a very honorable and respectful thing to remain on good terms with your ex-wife and to treat her with kindness. Just because you two are no longer married doesn’t mean you magically have to start hating her and start being a jerk to her.
Your wife is an AH. She has no business talking about body of mother of your children and woman nearly two decades senior to her. Also this could negatively impact your relationship with your kids if you let her. Maybe you should have married an adult instead of a child
NTA- it sounds like your current wife is a bit jealous. Her age could be a contributing factor since she’s not at the same maturity level as you. You might need to have a stern talk with her to explain that your ex is going to be a part of your life for the foreseeable future since you have a kid with her. Hopefully she will keep her comments to her self and play nice to keep everyone happy.
is she saying that shit in front of your kids? ill never forgive anyone who treats my mother like that
NTA. I think your wife is very insecure and hearing you defend your ex, who as you said is the mother of your children, really set her off. You aren’t in love with your ex, you just don’t want the mother of your children to be insulted at every turn. I think that’s admirable.
NTA. your wife is jealous that she doesn’t have children with you.
Your current wife sounds immature. She needs to understand that she should be thankful that her predecessor is a good person and mother to OPs children that she deserves this level of respect from OP. Wouldn’t she want to be treated with respect if the tables were turnt? NTA
NTA and well done for not letting current wife disrespect the mother of your children, that’s how you need to put it to her and make sure she understands. Your ex wife’s most significant title and role is mother of your children and children come before anyone and you won’t have your children hurt because your current wife likes to boost her confidence by putting their mom down, hopefully they have never heard her talk like this.
NTA – your wife is exposing her insecurities.
Ask her why she’s in competition with your EX wife ? Ask her what her insecurity is about her. Wife needs to grow up. This isn’t necessary or helpful and I hope she never says anything derogatory in front of your kids.
NTA
Your wife is being immature. Her comments could be damaging to her relationship with your children if they pick up on her nasty attitude towards their mother.
On the bright side, karma will get her when she hits perimenopause though. 😂
NTA, your ex is mother of your children and communication about her should be always respectful – without derogation terms and insults. I sadly heard a lot of bad things about my father (also divorced parents) and it hurt as hell hearing all of that for years.
Even if your wife doesn’t say anything next to the kids – they probably can feel the disrespect aimed at their mother.
absolutely NTA. it doesn’t matter who anyone is talking about, body shaming is never okay. good for you for standing up to your wife.
Put up a meme of a cow on the fridge that says, “Holy Cow are you eating again?”
For real, it’s time to remind her that she’s no beauty queen, either. She sounds very jealous and insecure, for being a younger woman.
I bet your kids know how your wife feels. Bet they can’t stand her.
She’s insecure. She needs to work on her confidence. She’s bothered that you’ve been with another woman and is trying to make herself feel better but this is not the way. Suggest therapy. Genuinely. It would probably help your marriage in more ways than you realize and overall improve her self image and life.
Maybe you should have married an adult, instead of an insecure, self centered child !
NTA..
45 vs. 29? Creep!
Omg. The age gap! Dude. That’s wild.. a lot of people in that age range have not fully matured in the right manner.. What all have you said to your current partner about your ex? I think there’s some information missing that can add more light to this issue. Just my 3 cents..
NTA. It’s about basic respect.
We don’t always hate our ex’s honestly if you have kids with your ex it’s best to have a good relationship with them and this is a person you once loved and married and to have someone insult them is hurtful. Maybe explain to your wife that she is the mother of your children and don’t want to hear bad things said about her. She can go complain about your ex to her bestie if she wants but you don’t want to hear it!
Your wife is immature and too young for you. Well done for sticking up for your ex. You need to be mindful of your kids though. Hearing step mom insult your mom is going to do damage.
NTA of course
Nta for standing up to your current against the ex. But the ages…. Tells a lot. Shows your current is not mature enough for this situation.
In the words of Will Smith – keep my name out your mouth.
Ew, why would you marry a fucking childish loser?!?!? Tell fatty to stop being so jealous of your ex.
Idk why people assume just because someone is an “ex” that they deserve to be ridiculed. We’re all someone’s ex. I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate her ex’s new wife calling her fat. Tell her you’re done having this argument and you have already established you don’t have any feelings for your ex wife, but she’s a good person that doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment so it needs to stop. Tell her you don’t like this side of her. It’s shameful.
If you have to ask if you’re in the wrong for this, it makes me feel like you’re putting up with other abuses from her.
Because it’s very clear cut that she’s TA. And just a rude, hateful, immature person.
“Respecting the mother of my children has nothing to do with loving her; I am with you. But there is a scenario where we can all exist like adults without needing to comment on anyone’s weight. Let’s just live our life and leave her physical appearance out of it.”
NTA, big ups to you for setting boundaries and asking for basic respect for the mother of your children. She is very insecure and competing with your ex. Says alot about her character
NTA, and she should consider it a very green flag that you’re doing this, because she now knows you wouldn’t tolerate people talking like that about HER. She’s an AH
You married someone with 16 years less maturity and life experience than you have.
your wife is an Ah, but you chose to marry someone in their 20s when you were in your 40s- and you clearly failed to choose someone with the maturity and insight to make your relationship with your kids a priority, and not be an asshole to your ex for the sake of your children’s peace and stability.
that part is on you, bud.
ESH.
i dumped an attractive new partner for disrespecting my daughters mom, my ex. and I HATED my ex at the time.
I’m curious what does she think happens to her within next 10 years. 20? And that’s a very small proportion of her life too.
I come from a family/culture where shaming other women for “letting themselves go” is just run of the mill conversation. Or that “no one will marry you if you don’t present a certain way” style of remark.
I ALWAYS make a point to ask them if they already scheduled their divorce yet. Because obviously it affects everyone’s worth the same way, right?
NTA
Your new lady seems like she is not only jealous, but super insecure about how much she means to you and her permanence in your life too. She probably feels like she can and will be replaced by your ex at any time, or that she may never be as special or mean as much to you as your ex, especially because she was the mother of your children.
You are a good man to defend your ex, there is nothing wrong with that, but you’ll need to sit down and have a deeper conversation with your current wife about her own issues, and why she feels the need to keep acting like this. My suggestion, therapy. Hopefully she hasn’t been saying any of this Infront of the kids.
Your wife is an asshole but maybe you wouldn’t be in this situation of having an immature wife if you didn’t pursue and marry someone 16 years younger than you
NTA but your partner sounds like a child
Why is she feeling the need to call her that?
Your current wife seems to be in competition with your ex wife. She shouldn’t even talk about your past or past related things.
NTA – some people can only feel better about themselves by putting someone else down, hopefully she grows out of it, or at least she starts to think before she speaks.
NTA.
NTA… but it sure sounds like you married one. I would ask her if she thinks only people she is in love with deserve basic respect and dignity?
YTA
You wanted a younger, less mature partner. Now deal with her immaturity.
Absolutely NTA
Yeah body shaming is awful, but I’m more concerned about the age gap here
NTA but I think it sounds like your new wife is feeling a little insecure. I’d frame it all in terms of your kids well being that they don’t need to hear their mother described or thought of that way and remind your current wife how much you love her.
Body shaming is gross.
That being said, you’re 16 years older than your current spouse? What do you talk about? That age gap is mind boggling
You could say “I am friends with my ex and I love you much. I wouldn’t want anyone to speak about your body or anyone’s body that way. Let’s just stay away from body shaming in general.”
NTA. She seems insecure and very toxic. She’s constantly bringing your past in the present.
Nta. Just frame it in the sense that you don’t like bodyshaming anybody including your current wife. If somebody were to do it. She sounds insecure.
You’re NTA but your current wife has some issues. It sounds like she’s jealous and insecure of your good coparenting relationship. In addition, she’s setting a horrible example of body positivity for your kids. This behavior is not acceptable.
The age gap yikes. You’re the red flag here
Body shaming in general is just icky, no matter the person. I’d say you don’t want your children to pick up on that type of behavior, and how harmful it can be
I hope she doesn’t say that in front of your kids…
She needs to grow up.
I’d simply ask her what she thinks she’ll look like after she has (insert however many kids you have with you ex here) children of her own.
She’s 29 now and needs to understand that at 47, even without kids but especially after having kids, its tougher to lose weight. If you have extra pounds already before 30, that’s even more difficult. Hormones begin to change around 30 years old and life catches up with you at 40, sometimes a bit later for the lucky few.
I do think her issue isn’t the body shaming itself though but stems from some form of jealousy. She feels the need to belittle her and be crass because… (fill in the blank). Otherwise she wouldn’t feel the need to act like a mean girl.
ETA: NTA – she’s the mother of your kids and a kind person. How she may or may not look doesn’t change her worth or personality.
Nta
Your new wife is a generation younger than you and a mf child.
Don’t procreate with her. EVER
NTA – I’m no psychologist but it sounds like your current wife is jealous of your former wife or is insecure about how she looks. I hope she’s not making those comments in front of your children.
Body shaming is just wrong, ex wife or not. NTA but was she shaming your ex before you get married? Cause if yes, ESH for bringing that energy around your kids even if she never said it in front of her.
If you plan to have kids with this 29yo, you should think twice.
NTA– what insecurities is new wife wrestling with? Doing this shit is deplorable, and there’s always a reason. Maybe find that reason?
You’re NTA. Sounds like your new wife is insecure. Too young/immature to understand that you can’t help having some feelings for the mother of your children.
My ex husband and his second wife and his girlfriends all talk shit about me and body shame me. Guess what? I’m still fine as the best bottle of wine and they are like the Dollar General brand of Boone’s Farm. NTA, my friend. Your new wife is just jealous of your ex. Not a good trait in a woman.
She may be leaking envy while projecting…I felt envy with my exbf because he built homes and had children with his ex wife. I noticed my envy and instead of leaking it I spoke about it. We are emotional beings and emotions are irrational. She may just be lacking self awareness. I don’t think anyone is an asshole here she is just emotionally underdeveloped. It’s definitely a red flag. If she doesn’t stop, you can ignore her bad behavior…but hopefully she hears you.
This is a somewhat normal reaction for an insecure girl in her 20s. This isn’t really about your ex being fat it’s about your new girlfriend feeling overwhelmed and seeking validation from you. She’s just not there maturity and security wise yet.
Don’t make it a hill to die on, just make it a point of basic decency. You don’t have to be defending her to defend decency.
The greatest gift you can give your children is to have a friendly relationship with your ex. Your current wife is trying to sabotage that – she is harming your children. End it now
INFO: Why did your ex leave you? Did she catch you hooking up with the 20-something, or did you meet your wife after your ex left?
My point is, if you started this relationship through disrespecting your ex-wife by cheating, then why would you expect your current wife to respect her?
Otherwise, yeah, you’d be N T A. Your wife is a hypocrite who needs to stfu and worry about herself.
How would this come up in conversation? I understand where you are coming from, protecting the mother of your children. But, why does the current hate the ex? Did she do or say something? Or are you badmouthing the ex? Either way, you had better find a way to smooth this over with the current wife, or you will have 2 ex’s.
“I’m not saying this because I love her, I’m saying this because you are being cruel and no one deserves cruelty.”
Your wife is acting very immature, and I hope her negatively about the mother of your children doesn’t find its way to the children. Your children will not be happy with you because you brought this woman into their lives.
NTA – she sounds insecure and you sound like a good egg. You’ve got kids with your ex, your wife can’t go slagging her off in front of the kids – that’s not cool. Continue to be a good coparent.
NTA
Start framing it as not wanting to discuss the ex at all, unless its about the kids. And that needs to remain respectful, for the kids.
Why can’t people just be kind in this world? Whatever happened to “if you don’t have something nice to say keep your mouth shut”. So sad
NTA. She’s the mother of your children! My partner’s ex wife is problem. They don’t get along. I’m the one who’s been adamant he at least make enough peace to attend events for the kid(s).
Good for you! Any mean, spiteful, petty comments are unnecessary. I really hope your children aren’t hearing those.
This seems like an insecurity issue . how enmeshed are you in your coparenting relationship with your ex ?
If youre talking constantly about things that aren’t child related , seeing eachother allot and you’re prioritisng her in some way because “its for the kids and they come first ” your wife could be feeling like the affair partner in her own marriage or like she’s the sister wife in a bigamous situation , which could be causing this .
Its admirable that you want to treat your ex with respect , and its understandable that you would appreciate what she did for you in birthing your children and how she looks after them now , but really sit down and consider how it might come across to your wife .
There is a fine line between “i appreciate that my ex sacrificed her body to give me children ” and “you haven’t given me children , so you come beneath her in my appreciations ” .
There’s even a comment in this thread that’s encouraged you to straight up say that her body is inferior because she (presumably) hasn’t given you children . Keep in mind that those sorts of thoughts may well be your wife’s actual internal monologue. That she will always come beneath your ex in the eyes of society and you because her body hasn’t birthed your children .
Just some things to think about when you’re trying to address this situation .
NTA, there is nothing wrong with want your current partner to not be a shitty person. Commenting on people’s body size or physical attributes is low hanging fruit and a sign of being a small minded moron idiot person.
Time for you to move on to wife #3.
NTA….”It is not about loving my Ex, it is about you disrespecting the mother of my children. And body shaming is not a nice personality trait for anyone.”
Your current wife’s weight reflects her own insecurities. She is expressing to you only to get you to respond with a positive (reinforcement) of what YOU think about HER. Maybe then she can stop questioning your feelings re: your ex and also stop doing this comparison with your ex. You can easily squash these comments if you react in a way that strengthens and secures her. Remember, you did not choose to divorce your ex and you share children with her. So wife #2 is wondering where your feelings are and if there’s any chance she isn’t Plan A if she’s feeling she is really Plan B. If you reply, like suggested, you’re gonna go in the wrong direction with wife #2. It’s never easy to follow in the steps of wife number one, especially when children are involved and your husband did not want that divorce. We tend to think the divorce door isn’t locked and closed.
NTA. There are no magical words you can say to make her understand and stop, because she understood a long time ago and still chooses to put your ex wife down. Insecurities are exhausting to deal with and end up ruining things, at least that have been my experiences.
Couple’s therapy could be one way forward. Explaining to her that your ex is not going anywhere, you and her are connected like it or not and you can’t live the rest of your life with a negative attitude towards her lingering in the air. A professional can help you get to the bottom of the situation.
A more nuclear option is point blank telling her the ex is not going anywhere and she is the mother of your children. Therefore she doesn’t have to love her or be her friend but she will show her respect, and that going forward she is not to use xyz words describing/talking about her. All this is said sternly and as a matter of fact, not a speech open for her suggestions. You will need to say that speech more than once.
Also decide how you want your life to look like going forward. Can you make peace if your wife continues her behaviour? Will you be willing to walk away if all actions fail?
NTA this shows your wife is very immature and probably jealous of your ex.
Tell her that under no circumstances do you ever want to hear unkind words about your ex-wife’s body. Does she body shame children too? I hope not. Mean words have never helped anyone. And she needs to think about how it makes you feel to hear them. Is she a kind person in general? NTA
I mean, you married someone almost young enough to be your child. She’s just trying to fit in.
NTA. It’s really unkind to speak that way about anyone let alone the mother of your children.
Tell your wife she degrades herself every time she puts any other woman down. That you love her but refuse to hear her degrade other women’s physical appearances in front of you, and that she needs to get her insecurity in check and that it makes her look pathetic.
NTA. I’m a second wife as well and my husband and his ex wife DO NOT have children but I still offer respect when we discuss her. Do you know why? She loved and cared for the man that I love. She helped him become the man that I fell in love with. She was his best friend for 25 years. It just didn’t work.
You aren’t just talking about an ex wife, you are talking about the mother of your children. That’s a hill to die on. Make it clear that it is about respect not still being in love. And you SHOULD care about the mother of your children! Tell current wife in no uncertain terms that you won’t tolerate this behavior. It’s childish.
Make sure that it never happens in front of your children.
typical highly insecure second wife. she’s also too young for you. and she’s projecting with the weight thing, because she’s also fat. a good man doesnt allow other people to insult those he loves or loved. i’ve been with men who allow their friends and family to insult me, and it’s not okay, and i ended up feeling immense anger over it and resenting them for it. your current wife needs to learn respect, and you should make it clear it’s not okay to insult your ex. she also needs to deal with her high level of insecurity. why are second wives always such utter bitches.
Third times a charm 🍀
The amount of people fat-shaming in these comments and not understanding that the problem isn’t anyone’s body. 😬
OP: it’s time to have a serious talk with your wife. This is toxic.
Here’s a few points:
-it’s ok for you to still love your ex. She is your co-parent and therefore family. That’s not the same as being in love with her. Does your wife talk shit about your mother or sibling(s) or kids? How much of your family does she want to be in competition with?
-Do you need to be in love with someone to not agree with personally attacking their appearance? She’s being mean-spirited and that mean girl shit is unattractive.
-it sucks that your current wife is focusing on size. It probably means she has insecurity about her own size. Let her know you’re in love with her rn, and will be if she gains or loses weight as well.
-this will completely destroy her relationship with your kids (and erode yours as well). Does she understand that?
It honestly sounds like you’re in a really tough spot here. On one hand, you’re right to want to shut down body shaming ..especially when it’s directed at the mother of your kids. On the other hand, I can see why your wife might get insecure and assume it means you’re still hung up on your ex. Do you think this is more about jealousy/insecurity on her part, or does she just genuinely feel the need to insult your ex to feel better about herself?
NTA.
You haven’t mentioned that your current wife is a good person so why are you married to her? Does she bring peace or is she a pain? Is she wife and step-mother material? How does she treat your children?
“I asked my wife to stop body shaming my ex, and my wife accused me of still loving my ex. I love my wife but my ex is a good person and the mother of my children.”
Nta
You love your kids and that’s their mother and you dont want her disrespected
NTA but it sounds like you married a young woman with a teenager/high school maturity…
Well, you should have picked a nicer person to marry.
this seems fake as hell because this story has all the reddit triggers
the age gap.
body shaming and kink about heavier gals
saying she divorced you like out of the blue
weird wording about “current wife”
lol
NTA
women like her are always concerned with being better than someome who isnt important.
Sometimes I refer to my wife as “my current wife”. She hates it.
NTA. Body shaming anyone, anytime is wrong.
Your children share 1/2 of their DNA with your ex. Tell her every time she cuts down your ex-wife, she’s cutting down your children. NTA
She is insulting the mother of your children, who I assume live with the two of you at least part-time. That’s a shitty thing to do to your kids. Completely disrespectful and she needs to stop. NTA.
NTA. You need to put a stop to this asap. I would be very concerned that she is also making these types of comments to or in front of the kids and that’s a huge problem.
NTA. There’s no need for nasty names.
gonna start calling my wife ‘current wife’ keep her on her toes
You don’t have to love your ex to be on good terms and defending her when she’s body shamed. And your wife doesn’t have to be best friends with your ex to at least respect that you have a history with her and children. Just because things didn’t work out, doesn’t mean you have to be enemies. But your wife sounds really insecure if she feels a need to be rude about your ex.
NTA as the mother of your children how would you feel if your kids heard her say that? She’s a bitch
Made it about the kids. What is she teaching them
Assuming he has kids, Baby Momma 1 and Baby momma 2
Maybe marrying someone 16 years younger, who hasn’t had a lot of grownup relationships, wasn’t the best move. Being respectful of the mother of your children is always good. It’s good for your kids, at the very least.
You need to have a serious talk with your wife about why she’s saying these things, what she’s worried about, and why taking care of your children’s mother is good for them. And she better not be saying that shit in front of your kids.
NTA
You’d figure at 29 she’d know better. I’m 27 & know better lol she’s the wife! Better be appreciative before she also becomes ex wife wtf, I hope she’s not saying this infront of the kids too. That’d be the day I hear someone talk smack about my momma, especially a “current wife”
I would say NTA. My ex , mother of my oldest, has her problems. And sometimes we complain about them to each other. Sometimes my current wife will start to go down some senseless insulting path when she’s talking to me about her and I’ll start to check her on it. Most of the time it’s like 15% defending my ex wife and like 85% just not wanting my current wife to be that type of person.
I would let it go. Your ex is fat. Why make this into a big deal. My wife does not want to hear anything positive about my ex!
lol married a 29yr old and your 45 what do you expect to happen. Your ex for as nice as she may be has probably called your trophy wife a few choice words so it doesn’t matter.
Aaah exes and gf’s 😅
“my ex is not a fat troll/dragon hybrid”
“WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING THAT WH*RE YOU’RE STILL IN LOVE WITH HERRRR 😡😤🤬
NTA. Absolutely not. You respect the mother of your children and do not want her disparaged. I really hope your wife is not doing that in front of the children. Your wife clearly has a lot of insecurity (about weight and possibly your relationship?) and that’s sad. You need to talk with her and emphasize that you love, care for and are attracted to her. Your ex-wife is your ex because the relationship clearly ran its course, but no one is the bad guy, and she should be treated with respect. If your wife is going to make this a competition, then you are in for trouble. If she is still insecure and confrontational about your ex-wife, then maybe you guys need to see a therapist.
You’ve only given us this to go on. But I feel like you’re an asshole.
Maybe you’re in love with her maybe you’re not. But maybe focus on the wife you have?
Nta but your wife is insecure as hell. I would demand some couples counseling
NTA. Just say ” hey, show a little bit of grace. I’m with YOU now, not her. There’s absolutely no reason to cut her down.”
NTA but you may be married to one. She’s got you. Why be an asshole to your ex (assuming this is unprovoked)?
NTA here but you know it was a trap and you fell right into it. That is one of those situations you’re supposed to walk away from and keep your mouth closed lol
NTA. Civility and mutual respect are always important, especially when trying to cooperate for the benefit of the children. Your current wife needs to grow up and gain some perspective.
NTA
i feel like you’re the problem, she’s your EX wife why do you care? You don’t have to agree with her just let her vent about your fat ex, what’s the issue?
NTA – but I think hating the ex wife is a common thing particularly if she is the mother of your kids. You’re not in a winnable situation.
Tell her she’s also fat,and then write us about her reaction.😆
😂😂😂 Hilarious story.
NTA and it makes your new wife look childish and insecure.
NTA.
I’d make it clear that “i love her but each time you fat shame anyone at all no matter who they are makes it hard for me to keep loving her” as a direct threat.
Personally if my partner couldn’t stop tearing down my ex partners i’d end up breaking it off with her, so i’d make it abundantly clear what’s happening before letting her know that this isn’t working out
NTA
It is unacceptable for her to be speaking about the Mother of your children that way. This has nothing to do with her being your ex, and everything to do with her, again, BEING THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN.
Your new wife needs to work on her insecurities and get over herself.
Yea, keep your mouth shut. You won’t win anything even if you win. It’s a trap and dumbasses like us men fall for it often. Don’t even shake your head. Do not react. Just kiss her and walk away.
Ask her if she’d prefer you call her fat too? If she’s not thin she falls into the same category as your ex. NTA
Tell her to stop body shaming, period. It makes her fugly.
NTAH. Nearly 30 and still an insecure mean-girl. That’s sad.
It’s better not to defend anything related to your ex-wife. Just keep telling your wife that she’s beautiful and desirable and you love her and only her.
gross. the only person i body shame is myself 🤣 she needs to grow up but i mean you went young youre in the thick of it
Your wife is insecure. That’s why she is doing that. NTA
NTA at all. Your current wife is being immature and jealous. I would sit her down when you are both calm, and enforce this boundary. She can think whatever she wants privately in her mind. But you don’t want her badmouthing your ex, especially something stupid and childish like bodyshaming her.
This is exactly the kind of thing that is discouraged in co-parenting, as it can lead to parental alienation. In fact, this could jeopardize OP’s custody (assuming it’s split custody) over the long run.
Reassure her that you love her deeply, but you coparent with this woman, she’s the mother of your children, and you won’t allow this to continue. If that’s a dealbreaker with your current wife, so be it.
And make sure that your kids absolutely NEVER hear this nonsense coming from your wife.
How about telling her to stop calling anyone fat. Tell her that her calling people names is the most unattractive quality that she displays.
Just tell her you like fat women which is what attracted you to her and your ex in the first place.
Fat shaming anybody is a shitty thing to do.
You will not win this one.
If you totally ignore it, maybe it will go away.
Or, have a policy of keeping ex lives completely off the discussion table. But that goes both ways!!!
Let us know how it goes?
NTAH. It shows a lot of insecurity. Also, as the mother of your children, your wife needs to show a certain level of respect in front of the kids. They take in more than you realize.
Remind her that her insults might slip out in front of your children and if she’s feeling that insecure to get therapy. Body shaming is a red flag.
It’s always hilarious when people marry someone who is young enough to
be their own child and then are dumbfounded when the person is immature.