My gf has been in her current job for around two years and quite frankly they are taking her for a ride.
She has no employment contract, its minimum wage, in fact a paycut they gave her this year takes her under minimum wage by my calculations, she was refused any vacation days/annual leave requests last year but not paid for any unused days (the latter two against the law in this country).
She gets paid for 6 hours a day but its more like 8. Some days 10 to 20 (yes im serious) are the hours worked. Yet no overtime pay nor the time back owed.
She willingly does this though, i have found other jobs for her but she never looks at them let alone apply. Ive even partially filled in application forms for her.
I do feel sorry that theyre scamming her but she lets them.
Never refuses the extra work, nor looks at other jobs. I cant get through to her that they dont respect her by treating her like this.
We missed the first day of a holiday as we were supposed to travel after she had finished work, she worked an extra 10 hours that day (for free on top of the extra 4-8 hours of free work a day she done that week) so she was exhausted for the holiday and we missed the first day.
AITA for not listening when she complains about this because she lets them?
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My gf has been in her current job for around two years and quite frankly they are taking her for a ride.
She has no employment contract, its minimum wage, in fact a paycut they gave her this year takes her under minimum wage by my calculations, she was refused any vacation days/annual leave requests last year but not paid for any unused days (the latter two against the law in this country).
She gets paid for 6 hours a day but its more like 8. Some days 10 to 20 (yes im serious) are the hours worked. Yet no overtime pay nor the time back owed.
She willingly does this though, i have found other jobs for her but she never looks at them let alone apply. Ive even partially filled in application forms for her.
I do feel sorry that theyre scamming her but she lets them.
Never refuses the extra work, nor looks at other jobs. I cant get through to her that they dont respect her by treating her like this.
We missed the first day of a holiday as we were supposed to travel after she had finished work, she worked an extra 10 hours that day (for free on top of the extra 4-8 hours of free work a day she done that week) so she was exhausted for the holiday and we missed the first day.
AITA for not listening when she complains about this because she lets them?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1- my action is not listening or caring when gf complains about the unpaid overtime
2- i might be an asshole because i should support whatever my gf chooses to do in her life
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. One of the most frustrating things out there is listening to someone complain about a problem they are capable of solving but refuse to.
NTA…the trouble here is twofold. She’s being mistreated, and her mistreatment is affecting your quality of life.
So she’s being blatantly exploited and you’re upset she has the audacity to complain about it?
How do you know she hasn’t applied for other jobs? Maybe she has and it just hasn’t worked out.
TBH if employers are able to this easily ignore labor labors in your country I can’t imagine the other options she’s qualified for are much better.
>she lets them
She needs money to live. “Lets them” is being a bit unfair. If they’re willing to be that exploitive who knows what else they’re doing behind the scenes. It could very well be worse than she’s letting on. If they’re getting people to work 10-20 hour days unpaid it almost certainly is.
YTA.
NTA. Quite frankly this has gone on past the point if sanity. Your GF should have quit long, long before this is.
Is this a family business she feels obligated to help out at?
The best thing you can do is to just tell her to quit, or maybe call whatever government agency deals with labor law violations where you live.
INFO: is this some sort of thing where you have to put in your dues and basically work to the bone before you can make it in this industry? Does she actually love the work?
NAH but I’m biased. I also get frustrated when people complain to me about things they aren’t even moving a finger to fix. But from an objective perspective, I don’t think getting frustrated or angry at her is going to help in any way.
So she works for family member? Is she also part owner of the business or just an employee? Is the family member getting by or getting rich?
I am assuming that the regular complaining plus not doing anything to make it better is causing you to feel drained energetically. Fair. That is a pretty normal response to providing another person with soothing via being able to vent, over and over about the same thing. Many people will eventually get burned out on that especially when the person doesn’t want to do anything about it.
Whether asking her to stop makes you TA or not depends entirely on how you communicate your needs and boundaries about this.
Needing her to stop (draining your energy) or do something to change it (so it can stop draining BOTH your energies) is FAIR and reasonable and does not make you TA.
But there are many ways to be TA in how you talk to her about this.
What field is she in?
You unfortunately can’t really help someone who doesnt want to help themselves.