I 20F have a couple starbucks cups I bought and my mother sometimes uses. The starbucks cups must be hand washed in order not to deform them. I told her that if we use them to hand wash them. My favorite cup was put in the dishwasher and is deformed enough where the lid can’t be able to screw on. I explained that I told her before. I may be in the wrong but I asked since I’ve asked several times if she could pay for it since I didn’t even need it washed since it already was. If I messed up like this I would pay for it. She told me i’m a “taker” and i take from paying and never give. She said that if i make her pay i’m setting the line and she’ll never let me use anything of her and will never do favors for me. We already have a strained relationship since my parents are divorced and hate each other but they live together for my sister till she graduates and she is somewhat mentally unstable since she refuses to take her meds. I also don’t like the fact that she doesn’t want to get a job and i had to be the second breadwinner for the family. I’m sorry for the ramble at the end. AITA?
TLDR:My mom messed my cup up in the dishwasher when I told her many times not to and i’m asking her to pay for it
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I 20F have a couple starbucks cups I bought and my mother sometimes uses. The starbucks cups must be hand washed in order not to deform them. I told her that if we use them to hand wash them. My favorite cup was put in the dishwasher and is deformed enough where the lid can’t be able to screw on. I explained that I told her before. I may be in the wrong but I asked since I’ve asked several times if she could pay for it since I didn’t even need it washed since it already was. If I messed up like this I would pay for it. She told me i’m a “taker” and i take from paying and never give. She said that if i make her pay i’m setting the line and she’ll never let me use anything of her and will never do favors for me. We already have a strained relationship since my parents are divorced and hate each other but they live together for my sister till she graduates and she is somewhat mentally unstable since she refuses to take her meds. I also don’t like the fact that she doesn’t want to get a job and i had to be the second breadwinner for the family. I’m sorry for the ramble at the end. AITA?
TLDR:My mom messed my cup up in the dishwasher when I told her many times not to and i’m asking her to pay for it
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NTAH but you have to understand setting this line in the sand means the same
Thing if you mess up and ruin something of hers d
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> because i asked her to pay for a cup after she washed it distorting it
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. It sucks she’s not listened to you and damaged your property. Do you think she’d be serious in her statement about this changing your relationship if she’s forced to pay for it? If so is that worth it to you or can you let this slide?
NTA. Would recommend just letting it go though
Not my business but your sisters mental health is probably being made worse by your divorced parents occupying the same house.
NTA
It’s pretty normal for someone to reimburse another person if they break their stuff (I would consider a melted cup broken).
NTA about the cup, but:
> She told me i’m a “taker” and i take from paying and never give. She said that if i make her pay i’m setting the line and she’ll never let me use anything of her and will never do favors for me.
> she doesn’t want to get a job and i had to be the second breadwinner for the family
I mean, what is the living situation here?
It sure sounds like you two live together. Whose home is it? Who pays rent to whom? Who’s the first breadwinner?
NTA. Hate to say it but your mom is and she’s acting like a child. She is an adult, therefore she should be fully aware of right and wrong. She is wrong. Those cups are freaking expensive. It takes 30 seconds to wash a cup with a sponge. Smh. Sorry you’re going thru this. I would hide all my cups from this point on.
Jeez you only asked her to hand wash it, you didn’t tell her she couldn’t use it. You need to move out and let your family figure out their living situation. You should not be a breadwinner for your parents and sister. Also she is playing mind games with you to get out of buying a fucking Starbucks cup. I think this would be the cup that broke the camel’s back. Edit: NTA
Move out
NTA. She ruined something of yours that you continually told her to be careful about. She disregarded those and now your cup is ruined. She should pay for it.
And I think it’s stupid some of these redditors think you don’t get any basic respect like not having things broken when you’ve repeatedly warned them about if you don’t pay rent. Since when did basic respect for other people’s things have to be bought with by rent?
It sounds like you aren’t lazy, you help around the house and pay some bills, and also work. But some redditors think if you don’t pay rent, you don’t get a say in basic respect of you, privacy or your things you bought with your own money. I’m sure if the roles were reversed with you and your mom, you would’ve gladly pay for a new one.
I’ll just go with YTA. I’ll never ask my Mom to pay for a Starbucks cup. That’s ridiculous. I’d be annoyed, we’d probably have an argument. But my mother paying me for a cup? I’d think of myself as a cockroach to ask my Mom to do that. She’s my Mom, it’s a fucking cup and I’m a lawyer and she paid for my education.
Maybe wash your own cups.
My lovely niece put my ember mug in the dishwasher. I never breathed a word. My fault for leaving it out.
NTA for asking, especially since you told her repeatedly. Next time just don’t leave them out.
I guess you have the right to ask her, but she is your Mom for crying out loud. She forgot what you said. I am sure it isn’t the money, she is just hurt that are her to pay, when she knows she would never ask you o do so if the situation was reversed.