I (32F) have a little backyard with a raised garden bed. A bunch of my friends have influenced me to start growing veggies, and it’s now my new obsession.
My neighbor’s has an indoor cat that he lets free roam in the evening and at night (it’s supposed to be a secret since the HOA and city requires all pets be leashed when outside). Well, the cat has decided that my garden bed is the perfect litter box. Rather than saying something to neighbor because I like to avoid conflict, I tried using cayenne pepper, citrus peels, and these motion activated sprinklers that never actually activate. Nothing has worked.
To make matters worse, he has attracted 3 stray cats and they all like to spend the night sleeping on my white patio furniture, which is now covered in cat hair and stains from the little dead frogs they like to leave me as a presents. This is such a pain because I’m also allergic to cats… like real bad. I have a fence already, but the cats just walk through it. I’m considering replacing it but it can only be 4ft tall (living in an HOA community sucks), so I’m worried they’ll just hop over it instead.
I finally worked up the courage to politely ask my neighbor if he could try to keep his cat out of my yard and I explained to him what has been happening and how I am allergic. He said he would, but now I feel like he hates me… He never speaks to me anymore, and I feel awful because I really didn’t want to be THAT neighbor. I just wanted my garden and patio to be cat-free for my own health and sanity.
Be honest with me, am I the asshole? I feel like a jerk.
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I (32F) have a little backyard with a raised garden bed. A bunch of my friends have influenced me to start growing veggies, and it’s now my new obsession.
My neighbor’s has an indoor cat that he lets free roam in the evening and at night (it’s supposed to be a secret since the HOA and city requires all pets be leashed when outside). Well, the cat has decided that my garden bed is the perfect litter box. Rather than saying something to neighbor because I like to avoid conflict, I tried using cayenne pepper, citrus peels, and these motion activated sprinklers that never actually activate. Nothing has worked.
To make matters worse, he has attracted 3 stray cats and they all like to spend the night sleeping on my white patio furniture, which is now covered in cat hair and stains from the little dead frogs they like to leave me as a presents. This is such a pain because I’m also allergic to cats… like real bad. I have a fence already, but the cats just walk through it. I’m considering replacing it but it can only be 4ft tall (living in an HOA community sucks), so I’m worried they’ll just hop over it instead.
I finally worked up the courage to politely ask my neighbor if he could try to keep his cat out of my yard and I explained to him what has been happening and how I am allergic. He said he would, but now I feel like he hates me… He never speaks to me anymore, and I feel awful because I really didn’t want to be THAT neighbor. I just wanted my garden and patio to be cat-free for my own health and sanity.
Be honest with me, am I the asshole? I feel like a jerk.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I went over to my neighbor to complain about his cat. 2) It might make me the asshole because it’s not neighborly. To some, this is a small I convenience and I should just let it slide. It is a cat and there is no real way to keep the cat from coming into my yard besides keeping the cat inside. That could cause problems for my neighbor.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, as long as you were polite, but it’s a cat. He can’t make it do anything unless he keeps it inside exclusively, which it doesn’t seem like he’s inclined to do.
Set up a camera and show the footage to the HOA.
NTA. Have you ever met a cat that gave a shit about anything you said? Have you ever successfully told a cat what to do? I understand why you don’t want the cat in your garden but that cat is going to do what cats do, regardless.
Now the damage is already done i guess? And he can’t control the cat unless keeping it indoors…
I would have bought one of those alarms with a high pitch ultrasound frequency rather than ask the people to manage their pets.
Motion activated sprinklers
Alright, so what you do is get you a misting system. Not only will your plants love it but the cats will hate it. You can leave it on of it’s not directly on the plants.
You aren’t TA, but cats will do what they do. They aren’t really controllable. Get a misting system. It will solve the problem.
get a large box of plastic forks and stick them in the ground about 3″ apart with the tines up.
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people shouldn’t be letting their animals free roam unless like, on a farm, or at a park designated for animals, that’s completely unacceptable
NTA – you literally did everything you could to keep them out.
I had the same problem but with pre-teens. The back gate was unlocked but they kept launching their basketball over my fence and to test their “skills” they’d try hopping my 6 foot cedar fence. Well several broken posts later and talks with the boys that were doing it, explaining the gate is unlocked and all they had to do is walk back there, I HAD to tell their parents because the kids kept doing it. I didn’t even ask for money to repair the fence.
I liked the kids and the parents. But I couldn’t keep replacing fence posts for their amusement. But man did I feel like that commercial where home owning turns you into your parents.
Just curious what fence you want to install you think a cat can’t jump or climb. My cats can make a five to six foot vertical leap and I have seen cats jump up and over six foot privacy fences like they are antelope.
If you asked, and his cats have remained out of your garden bed, you can always get him a little thank you gift! Like a bottle of wine if you know that he drinks it, or some cookies/other traditional dessert. You’re NTA for asking, especially because you tried to do other methods beforehand. If you’ve asked, and nothing has changed, don’t worry about it I should think.
Are you allowed to put up deer netting? As to cats on the furniture, turn the cushions up against the chair so there’s no cushions for them to sit on. If nothing else, it will reduce the hair.
Nta
They have these nifty little scraminal alarm thingys that are motion activated and make a loud noise. Put them in the garden bed and by the yard entrances they’ve been using.
Seriously though, it can be hard to get stray cats out of your backyard. And being allergic! That sucks.
Start with some electric fence….
NTA But a cat is going to cat. And I’m not sure you can really blame the neighbor for the additional three strays. You could try furniture covers or a sheet but if it’s a wide open space – we have a similar issue with birds eating the neighbors blackberries on our outdoor table & patio furnature.
NTA.
I’m a cat owner, who loves cats, who keeps their cat inside. Outdoor cats used our front garden as a litter box so often years ago that we had to give up, it’s now covered in rocks/gravel.
Years ago an outdoor cat kept coming into our backyard up to the glass sliding door and provoking our late cat, who would get super stressed and lose his mind. In one incident it came up to the glass looking for my cat, and our toddler happened to be by the glass door and as I was launching myself towards my toddler to get him out of the way, our cat redirected his aggression to our child, injuring him – the first and only time he ever did so.
I had to eventually spray the visiting cat with the hose to make it stop coming back, which I hated having to do but nothing else worked. Your neighbour’s haughtiness at you not wanting his precious taking a dump in your garden and risking your health is his problem, not yours.
You’re NTA. You have a right to a cat-free back yard, poop-free, toad-stain free, cat hair free.
NTA – it is just as likely that he is mortified/embarassed.
Just keep acting like your polite and nice self – if he get confrontational then stop.
NTA you should never feel bad for wanting control over your private property.
Keeping the soil covered by plants or mulch and keeping it well watered, seemed to discourage our local cats a bit.
If you want to keep them from going in your beds put out some food. They won’t poop where they eat.
NTA
I think I read somewhere that sticking LOTS of plastic forks around your plants can be a deterrent to cats. Also, tip your patio chairs when they’re not in use. And try covering some of the furniture with aluminum foil.
Cayenne pepper sprinkled in your garden
You are NTA, your neighbor is TA. Pet cats don’t belong outside. Your neighbor is playing FAFO games with his cats life, it could be killed by another animal, run over or killed/hurt by a person, and it could get sick or injured. Responsible cat owners don’t let their cats out unsupervised.
As for the other stray cats, I would get in contact with a local shelter or TNR program if there is one, to try and get them spayed/neutered and adopted if possible.
Good luck persuading a cat not to use an accessible toilet.
I had a similar problem, and I solved it by putting up a low chicken wire fence. My bed was raised about 2’/50cm and about the size of a double bed. I put chicken wire about 18″/40cm high around it. It worked, and it stopped birds landing in the bed too, so it saves my crop from a lot of picking over.
No? Cats are domesticated predators and should not be outside unsupervised.
NTA at all, but he’s probably terrified you’ll out him to the HOA?
NTA
Honestly I’d trap the cats and turn them in. Better for them to have a nice home then just running around.
Set live traps and take the cats to the animal shelter.