My nephew (24M) has been living with my mom (his grandmother) for the last year. She is disabled and receives little to no income. I own the house and pay for mom’s utilities/etc. My nephew, who had a traumatic brain injury as a child, has been living there for a year while he “gets on his feet”. “James” has a full-time job and earns good money. He pays $200/month, which doesn’t even cover 1/2 of the utilities. He doesn’t pay for any groceries, paper goods, laundry soap, etc. He occasionally treats grandma to a meal. I’m frustrated because my husband and I are subsidizing his living expenses and grandma is doing his laundry and cooking his meals. Grandma is constantly complaining about how he refuses to pick up after himself and won’t take care of his dog. I said he needs to find his own place and now I’m the “bad guy” for asking him to do. He (and his dad) think that he’s entitled to stay as long as he wants and seem to think $200/month is perfect, even though it doesn’t cover 1/2 the bills. They are all mad at me because I want to “kick him out”.
Note that “James” is a fully functioning individual, even with the brain injury as a child. He holds a CDL and holds a full-time job. He makes about $3k/month (more during harvesting time).
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Asking my nephew to move out. 2. I might be the ah because he’s family.
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NTA
“James” is a fully functioning individual, even with the brain injury as a child. He holds a CDL and holds a full-time job. He makes about $3k/month (more during harvesting time).”
James is a fully functioning mooch. He doesn’t have to go home, put he can’t stay with Granny in your house, treat her like a maid and pay $200 a month “rent”.
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
My nephew (24M) has been living with my mom (his grandmother) for the last year. She is disabled and receives little to no income. I own the house and pay for mom’s utilities/etc. My nephew, who had a traumatic brain injury as a child, has been living there for a year while he “gets on his feet”. “James” has a full-time job and earns good money. He pays $200/month, which doesn’t even cover 1/2 of the utilities. He doesn’t pay for any groceries, paper goods, laundry soap, etc. He occasionally treats grandma to a meal. I’m frustrated because my husband and I are subsidizing his living expenses and grandma is doing his laundry and cooking his meals. Grandma is constantly complaining about how he refuses to pick up after himself and won’t take care of his dog. I said he needs to find his own place and now I’m the “bad guy” for asking him to do. He (and his dad) think that he’s entitled to stay as long as he wants and seem to think $200/month is perfect, even though it doesn’t cover 1/2 the bills. They are all mad at me because I want to “kick him out”.
Note that “James” is a fully functioning individual, even with the brain injury as a child. He holds a CDL and holds a full-time job. He makes about $3k/month (more during harvesting time).
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
NTA. It’s your house. You can ask him to move out or to start contributing more. If his dad wants him to stay his dad can chip in more. He isn’t entitled to anything.
NTA – but you should ask him to pay half the costs first, before kicking him out.
Just because he’s fully functional in this setting doesn’t mean he’s equipped to live fully independently.
That being said, he is earning enough to pay a fair amount of the expenses in the home.
Sounds like your nephew is the human version of a garbage dog. Many people complain about their awful dogs. Some people when they complain they mean that need to get rid of it ASAP. Some people love their garbage dog for some reason and love to both complain about it and have it around. Talk to granny and try to find out what sort of garbage dog your nephew is before acting.
He and his Dad are mad? He can go live with his Daddy! You and your Grandma are not the responsible parties for your nephew. You and Grandma have done more than enough already.
NTA. Give your nephew a choice of paying half of ALL the living expenses – I’m sure he’ll then move on his own. His dad can support him for $200 a month if he complains.
“James” has overstayed his welcome and needs to leave! NTA!
You’re NTA and well within reasoning as it seems James is taking advantage of the situation to the fullest. If the grandmother is tired too, she will need to discontinue cooking and cleaning up after him.
Your nephew gets to pocket $2800 a month, has a live in maid, cook and dog sitter? Why would he leave?
I have a daughter with ASD and while she can’t hold a job she is able to live on her own, do her own laundry, cook for herself and take care of her cat.
Time for your nephew take care of himself or move in with his dad and let him cater to his every need.
NTA
NTA but does granny want him to leave? Or is she just looking for sympathy?
James is taking advantage of granny. This could be considered elder abuse in many jurisdictions. If you think it’s bad enough, file a formal complaint with Adult Protective Services.
But only if granny wants him gone and verbalized that to you.
Otherwise, until granny ASKS you to help, not your issue.
OUT!!!
NTA, time for him to grow up.
NTA . Why is James mooching off of his uncle. And not his dad its not your job to take care of his kid. I could see the point of taking his side if he was helping out with taking care of your mom but if she is picking up after him kick him out.
NTA. Sometimes you just have to be the bad guy. Time for nephew to go. You own the house, you get to make the hard decisions.