Backstory, I moved into this place about 6 months ago. Mutual friends connected us together. I had only met him once before deciding to move in together. He seemed fine and honestly is a fine guy. I personally just think an inconsiderate roommate.
He’s lived in this place for a couple years now. The owner is a relative of his. It’s a two bedroom place with the basement that is just basically a third room. He completely uses that third space as a music studio. I didn’t really care that he has an extra room
it was supporting someone’s art ya know. However, it has been extremely difficult to get to use any other inch of shared space for my own things. There’s a little storage closet in the house, that I have repeatedly asked if I could store some stuff there. He has always brushed it off or said he needed the space for x y z. Everything in the living room, dining room, hallways etc is used for his stuff. I’ve asked again repeatedly if I could have some room to put a bookcase somewhere.. again he’s unwilling to make room for any of my things. Oh also when I moved in he had a bunch of his art hanging up on the walls of my bedroom. When I took them down and gave them back to him (because I wanted to decorate my room with my own stuff) he was pretty offended. Honestly our roommate relationship has never been great since.
Several of my friends mentioned that our situation seems unfair that rent is split 50-50. I also am the only one doing any deep cleaning. He is mostly neat, but never ever does any routine cleaning like sweeping, cleaning the toilet etc.
I brought up these concerns to him. I feel like I tried to be kind about it and just told him how I felt. But I did bluntly state, either I need more space in shared spaces and asked if he can take up more clean responsibilities or we should split rent 40-60. He was very upset about this conversation and was downright rude towards me. He made a lot of comments implying I was doing this because I just didn’t have the money. Which rent has never been an issue for me. He has been ignoring me the past couple days.
I don’t feel like I am being too unreasonable. I’ve brought up the cleaning and space issues quite a few times before and he’s never done anything to resolve my frustrations.
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Backstory, I moved into this place about 6 months ago. Mutual friends connected us together. I had only met him once before deciding to move in together. He seemed fine and honestly is a fine guy. I personally just think an inconsiderate roommate.
He’s lived in this place for a couple years now. The owner is a relative of his. It’s a two bedroom place with the basement that is just basically a third room. He completely uses that third space as a music studio. I didn’t really care that he has an extra room
it was supporting someone’s art ya know. However, it has been extremely difficult to get to use any other inch of shared space for my own things. There’s a little storage closet in the house, that I have repeatedly asked if I could store some stuff there. He has always brushed it off or said he needed the space for x y z. Everything in the living room, dining room, hallways etc is used for his stuff. I’ve asked again repeatedly if I could have some room to put a bookcase somewhere.. again he’s unwilling to make room for any of my things. Oh also when I moved in he had a bunch of his art hanging up on the walls of my bedroom. When I took them down and gave them back to him (because I wanted to decorate my room with my own stuff) he was pretty offended. Honestly our roommate relationship has never been great since.
Several of my friends mentioned that our situation seems unfair that rent is split 50-50. I also am the only one doing any deep cleaning. He is mostly neat, but never ever does any routine cleaning like sweeping, cleaning the toilet etc.
I brought up these concerns to him. I feel like I tried to be kind about it and just told him how I felt. But I did bluntly state, either I need more space in shared spaces and asked if he can take up more clean responsibilities or we should split rent 40-60. He was very upset about this conversation and was downright rude towards me. He made a lot of comments implying I was doing this because I just didn’t have the money. Which rent has never been an issue for me. He has been ignoring me the past couple days.
I don’t feel like I am being too unreasonable. I’ve brought up the cleaning and space issues quite a few times before and he’s never done anything to resolve my frustrations.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I do feel bad. He is an artist and he’s talked with me several times how hard it’s been for him to make a living out of it. I don’t want to put him in a tough position. I also don’t really care about the rent, I sorta of just want him to change his behavior. Which feels like a shitty place to put someone. Like I’m holding financial power over him to get him to do something.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. If he takes up more space, then he needs to pay more.
No, you are NTA, you’re just in a tough living situation.
Here’s the thing (I don’t mean to be harsh, so please don’t take it that way): if you don’t like it, then move. He isn’t going to change, so stop fighting an uphill battle. That extra 10% in your pocket is not worth turning your home into a “walking on eggshells situation” and make your space uncomfortable.
NTA. You need to put your foot down. If you’re laying 50-50, you have a right to 50% of the space. That means the basement and the rest of the shared space.
NTA. This guy wants to live alone. It sounds to me like it would be better for you to live elsewhere because this guy has already laid claim to every inch of that home.
NTA
you have laid things out pretty clearly. It is tough to renegotiate the lease terms half way through the lease.
It also matters very much if your lease is directly with the relative or a sublet arrangement with your roommate.
You need to read the contract that you have. (If you don’t have one, then – yikes! – it is time to hammer out a contract and is an opportunity for you to address the rent split that you want.
If your lease is with the relative, then you can complain to them that you do not have 50/50 use of the shared spaces and, as the landlord, they need to remedy this or discount your rent by 10% (or even 15%!). The landlord may be willing to do this for you instead pushing your roommate to change his use of the space. It doesn’t matter to you whether the landlord charges your roommate more or not. Your cost is cut appropriately.
If your (sub)lease is with your roommate, you definitely want to hold him to providing everything the contract specifies – though is may not be specific enough to motive things for you. You may also try a different tack – suggest he spring for a cleaning service to come every two weeks. In exchange you only ask for (what you absolutely need in the way of shared space). He is free to keep
Most of his stuff as is, you get some space and cleaning service included in your rent.
If these paths don’t get you anywhere, you can look for a new place or be prepared to negotiate hard when your lease needs to be renewed.
Good luck with this!
NTA. It’s either a shared house or not. If you’re paying 50% of the rent you should have 50% of the space.
Probably best to just move out. NTA
NTA.
You’re essentially only renting a room at this point. I think even 40/60 is too much of a give. You should only have to pay for what you are able to use. I’d say 25/75 or at the very most, 30/70.
Your name is on the lease. If you’re paying 50/50 then he needs to give up half the space. If his family member is the landlord and is supporting his selfishness then you should be able to get out of the lease, or at least try. Especially if the landlord is unwilling to help set forth the boundaries that are required for a 50/50 split. Not only does he not have the right to keep his decorations in the room, but the whole place is supposed to be fairly split. That’s how roommates work and what it means.
40 60? man i think yall should split 30 70 cuz like he has an extra room to himself and he takes up almost the entire shared space for his own things so i dont see you having any personal space whatsoever. youre considerate enough to not nag ab the extra room he has as his music studio but he is against you putting up a bookcase for your things.
and honestly i dont think he is ever gonna consider your situation so its best if you just start looking for another place to stay.
and given all the things he does im sorry but he has no right to be rude to you, like not at all. we couldve considered his actions if he payed the full rent and you just lived off of him but thats not the case right?
I would suggest you find a new place to live
NTA. He’s inconsiderate and isn’t acknowledging that 50% of that space is your since you pay 50% for it. tbh it sounds like you own barely 20% and should be aiming to make the split larger to match that. You’re basically living as a guest in the place you pay for. Even hotel guests get exactly what they pay for.
Edit: So it’s his relatives place? Are you both on a single lease stating total rent paid by both of you or you both have independent leases?