I (19M) share an apartment with my roommate (20M). We get along fine, but recently I noticed my shampoo bottles emptying way faster than they should.
It’s not just any shampoo I have a scalp condition, so I buy a specific medicated brand that costs like 25€ a bottle. Last week I caught him using it in the shower. I asked him about it and he said, “Bro, it’s just shampoo, calm down.”
I told him that it’s not “just shampoo,” it’s literally prescribed for my scalp and also really expensive. He rolled his eyes and said I was being dramatic, and that if I don’t want him to use it, I should “hide it.”
I feel like he should respect my stuff without me needing to hide it. I told him to buy his own, but now he’s being passive-aggressive and telling mutual friends I’m “selfish over soap.”
So, AITA for asking my roommate not to use my shampoo?
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I (19M) share an apartment with my roommate (20M). We get along fine, but recently I noticed my shampoo bottles emptying way faster than they should.
It’s not just any shampoo I have a scalp condition, so I buy a specific medicated brand that costs like 25€ a bottle. Last week I caught him using it in the shower. I asked him about it and he said, “Bro, it’s just shampoo, calm down.”
I told him that it’s not “just shampoo,” it’s literally prescribed for my scalp and also really expensive. He rolled his eyes and said I was being dramatic, and that if I don’t want him to use it, I should “hide it.”
I feel like he should respect my stuff without me needing to hide it. I told him to buy his own, but now he’s being passive-aggressive and telling mutual friends I’m “selfish over soap.”
So, AITA for asking my roommate not to use my shampoo?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my roommate to stop using my medicated shampoo because it’s expensive and prescribed for my scalp condition. He thinks I’m being dramatic and selfish for not sharing something as “small” as shampoo. I might be the asshole because maybe it does seem petty to refuse over something so simple, but it really bothers me.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Clear NTA. It’s your stuff, not his.
NTA but since he can’t be trusted, hide your shampoo. It’s a lose-lose sitch for you, though. You hide it, he calls you dramatic. You don’t hide it, he continues to use it cuz you’re apparently responsible for his behavior.
NTA. He is.
So, when you get the next bottle, tell him that his share is 12.50 Euros. My guess is that regular, non-medicated, shampoo is a lot less expensive. So if he looks at the cost he will probably buy his own.
Me on the other hand, I shave my head so a bar of soap is even cheaper.
>Last week I caught him using it in the shower.
What kind of “roommate” is he where you watch him shower? You’re N T A for the question you asked, but, depending on your relationship, you may have committed a crime.
NTA. And if this comes up with mutual friends, tell them he’s using your prescription shampoo that you have to get your doctor to order, and it’s really gross that not only is he using your expensive prescription, he’s pretending this is a conflict over a cheap bar of Ivory when telling them about it.
NTA, It’s your personal, prescribed shampoo, and he’s disrespecting your boundaries. Asking him to stop using your expensive, medical shampoo is totally reasonable. He should just get his own instead of acting passive-aggressive.
NTA. He can call it “just soap”, so let him use dish soap then. Let’s see how that goes for his scalp. People like this only understand boundaries when they’re forced to
NTA but I would still hide your shampoo. And at renewal I’d consider a more conscientious roommate.
Definitely NTA, your roommate is being selfish by using something that he knows is prescribed to you.
NTA. You’re not in a relationship where you share toiletries
NTA. Don’t keep it in the shower. Keep it in your room.
You need a shower caddy; keep it in your room. NTA. Don’t ask dumb questions. Of course you’re NTA to ask someone to stop using your pricey shampoo.
NTA you need to tell your mutuals what he’s stealing is medicated soap. Medication. Medical item. Not. For. Him. And just ask if they’d let their friends grab a pain pill when they run out of Tylenol…
Easy solution, move it so they don’t have access to it.
NTA.
Step 1) keep this bottle. when it’s empty put something fucked up in it. mayonnaise or toothpaste.
step 2) let him use it and watch him freak out
OR, keep it in your room. lol
He won’t stop he’s not gonna give you money remove it from the area.
I went through this with a guy using my soap. It wasn’t prescription, but it WAS one of the very few luxuries I could afford at that time of my life.
NTA, but until you can get a different roommate use a shower caddy to bring your toiletries back and forth.
NTA This is why I encourage college students and people who share apartments to have lockable trunks in their dorm/bed rooms.
NTA but he’s shown he’s not going to stop. Keep it in your bedroom.
NTA
Keep it in a little basket in your room, only take it to the bathroom when you need to use it.
Ask him (and mutual friends) why you need to take steps to stop him stealing medication. Ask why he doesn’t understand that it’s wrong to steal.
Hide the bottle, and when it’s empty pee in it and put it back in the shower.
NTA and this is such a red flag. Your roommate will probably use up other stuff of yours so I would try to keep it all in your room as much as possible until the lease is up. What an entitled AH
NTA. Get you a bathroom caddy and carry it and from the bathroom. It has solved roommate stealing issues for years.
NTA, but there’s a simple solution – don’t leave your shampoo in the bathroom. Keep it in your bedroom and take it with you each time you shower.
NTA but I would likely move it to my room
NTA
Don’t keep it in the bathroom. Replace it with a bottle with nair in it for your room mate.
Nta.
It doesn’t matter how expensive it is or that it’s prescription. You’re roommate is being a bum and it needs to stop.
I know this isn’t a petty revenge sub, but this is grounds for telling him using the prescription could make him lose his hair then replacing the contents with something that will do just that… NTA
You’re absolutely NTA, but he’s definitely not going to stop using it unless you keep it away from him.
Nta if it’s just shampoo he can buy his own. Stop.leaving it in the shower. Problem solved. Not a hard issue to fix.
NTA, but take it out of the shower and put it in your room, not difficult. Also, retaliate by telling the same mutual friends he’s so cheap he has to steal prescription shampoo instead of using his own. Problem solved.
NTA, but you’ll have to hide it
NTA. Hide it. He’s being immature and a poor roommate.
You could always get the next empty bottle of your shampoo.. fill it with hair remover and let him have at it!
NTAH BTW
NTA
Keep your shampoo in your room when you don’t use it.
And if you’re really petty take an nearly empty bottle of it and put something disgusting in it. Chances are he’s one of those guys who put the shampoo directly on his scalp instead of his hand first and then he hay mayonnaise in his hair or something. Just don’t use something that could seriously hurt him.
NTA and I agree that he was the Asshole here. However, I want to suggest something that may make both of your lives easier. I would approach him again in the living room and just talk to him civilly about it.
I 100% agree that he shouldn’t be using it regardless of if it costs $1 for a month’s supply or $100 for a one-week supply. But I also recognize that other people may have been raised where it was more normal, and when you confronted him, he may have gotten defensive. And yes, he shouldn’t be continuing to push the issue, and he is definitely in the wrong.
But honestly, with him being so defensive he may not have even listened to you say why it’s such a high priority, try to have an open and reasonable conversation where you can point out why you care, why it’s so expensive, and how much it costs. Maybe he might realize how wrong he is and at least stop using it, maybe even apologize.
If he still wants to be an asshole and call you selfish, then 100% get some petty revenge and also hide anything relatively expensive.
Fill up an empty bottle of your shampoo with dish soap and leave it for him to use. Keep your good stuff in your room.
NTA, I do think keeping it in your room is maybe a good idea but fucking Christ I would hate living like that. I’d rather say, Hey, you can keep using my shampoo if you like it so much, but we are going to have to trade off on who is buying it. When this is empty, it’s your turn. – and then if he doesn’t buy it you keep that shit padlocked behind lasers.
NTA obviously, but yeah you should hide everything you buy. He doesn’t need to be coasting on your efforts. He’s simply too lazy to buy his own and figures he can take advantage of a woman, since it’s your role to supply him with everything he needs /s
NTA, but he’s straight up told you if you don’t want him using it you need to hide it. I’d honestly just do up a little shower caddy you can keep in your room/closet. Sucks, you shouldn’t have too but he’s not gonna stop using it if it’s easily accessible to him.
He sounds lazy and cheap and probably doesn’t wanna buy his own shit.
NTA. Just move it quietly in your room
Keep the damn shampoo in your room if it’s that expensive and costly and appropriate for you.
Transfer your shampoo to another bottle and hide it, and fill the old bottle with hair remover or dye or something and put it back into the shower. Let’s see how he feels now after using it.
NTA.
Buy a lock for your room. And key locks for your cabinets in the kitchen. Lock away all your stuff, per his suggestion, including any appliances, cutlery dishes, etc that is yours. Tell him, when he means, ‘it was your idea, I just wanted everyone to respect other’s property and buy their own toiletries but hey, if this is your scene I’m down.’
Im petty Id piss in an empty bottle….
Short term solution: move the shampoo
Long term solution: move the roommate
Replace it with dish soap when you’re not showering. NTA— that stuff is spendy.
NTA but he is definitely TA for not only using your stuff but for running to your friend group and complaining. He’s an AH just for saying “calm down.” Every time he asks you about something you should tell him to calm down until he understands how annoying and patronizing that is.
Call him out for being too cheap to buy his own.
Well the good part is what ever condition you are fighting he will also have soon if he keeps using your shampoo.
Ask for his half of the money.
Or keep it in your room and keep an eye out for new roommates.
NTA
>“He rolled his eyes and said I was being dramatic, and that if I don’t want him to use it, I should “hide it.””
>“now he’s being passive-aggressive and telling mutual friends I’m “selfish over soap.”
^^ these AI stories are exhausting.
NTA and you are going to need to take your shampoo into your room after use.
NTA. I’d get a shower caddy and keep it in your room. That’s what I had to do to keep my brothers from using my expensive (not medicated) shampoo.
NTA but your roomate is an unbelievable asshole. Everything he said is bullshit. You’re not being dramatic or selfish, he’s fucking stealing your expensive medicated shampoo. He can buy his own or pay you for half if he must use your prescription shampoo but also why the fuck would he want to use prescription shampoo?
NTA but if the only way this unbelievable thieving asshole is going to respect your property is to hide it from him I guess do that. Keep it in your room when you’re not showering.
Also save yourself the next headache and install a keyed deadbolt on your room so he can’t get in there when you’re not home.