I’m a server at a small, casual Japanese restaurant. Since the dining area is so small and we don’t have many staff, the servers aren’t assigned sections and there are call buttons on the tables so the customers can call over a server to help them (take their order, answer questions, etc.) All the servers share tips, so everybody helps everybody. Our responsibilities are to take orders, seat customers, bus tables, make drinks (boba), and run food. We all share tips.
We try not to rely on the call button too heavily because some people are hesitant to use it. So we keep each other in the loop on who has checked on what tables and making sure everybody is happy, just normal “good server” stuff. General rule is that if you took a table’s order, that’s “your table”. When customers are ready to pay, they check out with a server on a POS tablet they carry with them, we almost never do paper checks.
Now to the story:
It was a weekday during lunchtime and it was DEAD SLOW. Like 2-3 tables an hour slow. Around 2pm, 2 ladies walk in and we seat them. They are the only table in the restaurant. I take their order, bring out their drinks and food, and leave them to enjoy their meal, checking in a few times to make sure they were good. About 30 minutes pass and they are clearly done eating (bowls empty, they are just chatting), so I go to clear their empty dishes and ask if they are ready for the check. They said no and waved me off.
About 5 minutes later, they hit the call button and ask for the check. They pay and sit and chat for a little longer before getting up to leave.
On their way out, one of them comes up to me and says “I have to say something. It is so rude to approach us with the check when there is nobody else in the restaurant. I understand if it’s busy and you need the table, but there is nobody here. You were rushing us out of here.”
I respond by apologizing for making them feel rushed and explaining that I only asked if they wanted the check because it looked like they were done eating.
She doubles down: “It was just so rude for you to approach us with the check. You should wait for us to call you over. That’s what you have the call buttons for. This was my first and last time eating here.”
I say okay and they leave.
This has been playing over and over in my mind. I honestly don’t know if it’s rude to ask if they want the check since we use the tablets. I know most restaurants just kind of put the paper check on the table when it looks like the customer is done eating, but we don’t do that. Checking them out requires an entire social interaction, so we have to ask if they’re ready.
I can maybe see how they thought we would just leave them alone and only come when they used the call button, but we’re trained to check on our tables so they only have to use the call button if they can’t find one of us right away.
Am I the asshole for asking my table if they were ready for the check?
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I’m a server at a small, casual Japanese restaurant. Since the dining area is so small and we don’t have many staff, the servers aren’t assigned sections and there are call buttons on the tables so the customers can call over a server to help them (take their order, answer questions, etc.) All the servers share tips, so everybody helps everybody. Our responsibilities are to take orders, seat customers, bus tables, make drinks (boba), and run food. We all share tips.
We try not to rely on the call button too heavily because some people are hesitant to use it. So we keep each other in the loop on who has checked on what tables and making sure everybody is happy, just normal “good server” stuff. General rule is that if you took a table’s order, that’s “your table”. When customers are ready to pay, they check out with a server on a POS tablet they carry with them, we almost never do paper checks.
Now to the story:
It was a weekday during lunchtime and it was DEAD SLOW. Like 2-3 tables an hour slow. Around 2pm, 2 ladies walk in and we seat them. They are the only table in the restaurant. I take their order, bring out their drinks and food, and leave them to enjoy their meal, checking in a few times to make sure they were good. About 30 minutes pass and they are clearly done eating (bowls empty, they are just chatting), so I go to clear their empty dishes and ask if they are ready for the check. They said no and waved me off.
About 5 minutes later, they hit the call button and ask for the check. They pay and sit and chat for a little longer before getting up to leave.
On their way out, one of them comes up to me and says “I have to say something. It is so rude to approach us with the check when there is nobody else in the restaurant. I understand if it’s busy and you need the table, but there is nobody here. You were rushing us out of here.”
I respond by apologizing for making them feel rushed and explaining that I only asked if they wanted the check because it looked like they were done eating.
She doubles down: “It was just so rude for you to approach us with the check. You should wait for us to call you over. That’s what you have the call buttons for. This was my first and last time eating here.”
I say okay and they leave.
This has been playing over and over in my mind. I honestly don’t know if it’s rude to ask if they want the check since we use the tablets. I know most restaurants just kind of put the paper check on the table when it looks like the customer is done eating, but we don’t do that. Checking them out requires an entire social interaction, so we have to ask if they’re ready.
I can maybe see how they thought we would just leave them alone and only come when they used the call button, but we’re trained to check on our tables so they only have to use the call button if they can’t find one of us right away.
Am I the asshole for asking my table if they were ready for the check?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I asked a customer at the restaurant where I work if they were ready for the check when they were the only table and we have call buttons for the servers.
I think I could be the asshole by making the customers feel rushed.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t situation.
Some people would be upset if you didn’t ask because they don’t want to flag you down, some people like these ladies will be upset and feel rushed.
You can’t control others but you can control yourself and you were an attentive server and you weren’t impolite. If these ladies seen they were holding a table and assumed there shouldn’t be an issue then why did they feel as if there was ?
Not on you just on how they chose to perceive the situation.
NTA, that’s a pretty standard question and part of you being an attentive server. They’re being the rude ones. Sounds like you were doing a good job.
NTA – How were you to know if THEY were in a hurry or not?
NTA, but in the future, you may want to ask if there is anything else you can get them, rather than jump to asking if they want the check.
NTA – at first I thought you BROUGHT the check to them, if you did that then yeah I’d say yta. But asking if they want the bill? cannot make you the asshole.. you have no way of knowing if they are in a rush.
I guess you could word it like “please let me know when you’d like the bill, feel free to flag me down, no rush we have lots of room, so please stay and enjoy your time”
NTA
SO these ladies are SO important that a waiter asking if they are ready for their check in an EMPTY restaurant is rude? Were they sitting in the VIP room and had paid for the full day? Big deal you asked them once if they wanted their check. If you were hounding them, maybe, but once? Perhaps she is upset you didn’t offer to pull that long stick out her…. You did your job appropriately and that lady was more than an AH, she was a …..
Ugh, NTA. Those women (boomers, perhaps?) were looking for a reason to be offended, whipping up imaginary rudeness where none really existed. Or maybe just the one woman who scolded you. You were being appropriately attentibe, you didn’t hover or be pushy…and you’re right, a lot of people are probably going to feel awkward pushing a button to call you over.
Learning experience, we all (industry) experience it.
While clearing, ask if there is anything else you can get them. Offer a dessert menu (where applicable) If they say no, make sure they don’t want another drink. If they say no again, you can follow up with, “just the check then?”
Those ladies were over the top, don’t lose sleep over it.
NTA
NTA-you were polite when asking.
NTA. Some people would get upset that you didn’t bring the check when they are obviously done eating. And nothing says they have the leave the second they get the check. I’m not sure what her problem was, but you did nothing wrong.
I am leaning towards YTA. There were more diplomatic ways on checking if they are done without rushing them out.
Even if you didn’t mean it, this was how it was perceived. Especially if this is the US where guests are used to be rushed out.
NTA Those women were just being unreasonable and petty. They came into your place to eat, they ate, they were done and you asked about the check. It didn’t mean they had to leave. They could have just gotten the check, even paid and still sat there another half hour or more. Ignore them. As long as you were friendly and polite, they are at fault for insinuating you’re being rude and just looking for something to complain about.
NTA. Server (past) to server, some tables are just assholes.
NTA. Some people just need to find something to be offended about, apparently.
So, I guess YA for not being a mind reader?
NTA, absolutely.
NTA. I get shy and awkward about asking for the check and I’m relieved when the server asks if I want the check instead of waiting for me to ask. Everyone’s different.
NTA
If you had done what the customer was suggesting with me, I would be frustrated that you were waiting on me to take the initiative.
Now there is a slight complication – which I think you understand. If you had paper bills, you could give it to them and say something like “no rush”. You and your colleagues might think about ways to communicate this given the system you have.
Simply state, Can I get you anything else? Well flag me down or push the button when you want the check and I’ll be right over.
INFO: How old were they? I have a guess. NTA obviously
NTA
There’s no way you can win with these kind of people.
If you had left them to it they would have said you were ignoring and neglecting them. Put it out of your mind.
They were mad because you foiled their plan to finagle a free meal. If you didn’t come over, they could claim they tried the button but no one acknowledged them, and would have more than likely left when no one was around.
NTA
This really depends on the country you’re in. Was it a Japanse restaurant in Japan? In my Western European country this would be very rude. You would not rush customers out. Yet I know there are countries in which you get the bill as soon as you finish. Even if it is customary in your country. Did you at least clear their table and asked whether they wanted dessert or coffee?
>…I only asked if they wanted the check because it looked like they were done eating.
When a customer has a complaint, do not explain why you did what you did.
Simply listen to them and apologize graciously.
Just saying.
NTA lmao they just wanted to complain. I bet had you not asked they would have said you were not attentive enough. Some people just suck.
It depends on where you are located, in some countries it would definitely be considered rude.
Waiters aren’t supposed to be always at the table asking questions or chatting or rushing people like in american restaurants, that kind of service completely ruins the experience of going out for meals so I understand why the lady was frustrated.