my gf and i are on holiday on a resort town, she met a nice woman about the same age as her (late 20’s) and they got talking, we were having dinner with them later after they invited us out. the husband was nice at first but I found him really creepy, he kept commenting on my girlfriend, saying she was really pretty, saying he’d “never dated an asian” (my gf is asian) and asking me what it was like dating an asian girl (like how the fuck am i supposed to answer that?)
he kept complimenting her and asking me how i managed to get a girl like that. meanwhile his wife was also complimenting me, she called me handsome and good looking several times. at one point she was like “i hate going out without my husband cause i always get hit on by strangers, but none of them are as handsome as you”. wtf right? she’d had a few wines at that point and was getting drunk, but still… there were other instances where she called me handsome.
at another point she said “my type is guys with black hair” (i have black hair).
at one point it was too much, i got a hunch they were swingers, i couldn’t take. I faked a phone call and pretended we had to leave for an emergency, we left before the food had even arrived, I left money on the table and we left.
My gf was furious when she found out i made up the emergency, I told these people were swingers, she thought I was crazy, we had a huge argument
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my gf and i are on holiday on a resort town, she met a nice woman about the same age as her (late 20’s) and they got talking, we were having dinner with them later after they invited us out. the husband was nice at first but I found him really creepy, he kept commenting on my girlfriend, saying she was really pretty, saying he’d “never dated an asian” (my gf is asian) and asking me what it was like dating an asian girl (like how the fuck am i supposed to answer that?)
he kept complimenting her and asking me how i managed to get a girl like that. meanwhile his wife was also complimenting me, she called me handsome and good looking several times. at one point she was like “i hate going out without my husband cause i always get hit on by strangers, but none of them are as handsome as you”. wtf right? she’d had a few wines at that point and was getting drunk, but still… there were other instances where she called me handsome.
at another point she said “my type is guys with black hair” (i have black hair).
at one point it was too much, i got a hunch they were swingers, i couldn’t take. I faked a phone call and pretended we had to leave for an emergency, we left before the food had even arrived, I left money on the table and we left.
My gf was furious when she found out i made up the emergency, I told these people were swingers, she thought I was crazy, we had a huge argument
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met a weirdass couple on holiday, i thought they were swingers based on their weird talk, decided we should leave pronto. gf thought i was crazy. had a fight.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
You’re NTA for wanting to get out of a situation that was making you uncomfortable.
Whether these people were swingers or not, I don’t know. Some people just don’t realize how uncomfortable they can make people with their comments – especially with their “filter” dulled by alcohol.
Did your girlfriend really not know that they were swingers?
NTA. Ask your gf, maybe she likes to swing.
NTA, how could yo assume to be an A? Its your life. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable you can leave.
NTA. I think your instinct was correct.
If it wasn’t, they made you uncomfortable enough that it was ok to want to leave.
You shouldn’t assume. They could’ve been serial killers.
NTA. Swingers or not, their comments were awkward & out of line.
NTA whether they were swingers or not (likely yes) but if not still at the least creepy and weird. And yeah totally wanted you two
Swingers or not, they were making you very uncomfortable (I would definitely be too if people made comments like that to me and my partner) and you were in the right to get out of that situation. NTA
NTA they were definitely swingers and you did a good thing by getting your girlfriend out of there
Didn’t I read this same story a few months back?
Yeah no creepy
The what its like dating an asian girl is nearly always some creep who thinks they’re submissive
If they’re not your people, they’re not your people. Mightn’t have been the most eloquent of exits, but it’s done. Ask your GF how she would have handled it if push had come to shove… NTA
NTA. That sounds super uncomfortable. There’s a difference between being friendly and being inappropriate, and it really sounds like both of them were crossing that line. The “never dated an Asian” comment alone is weird and fetishizing, and then piling on the constant compliments and flirty remarks from both sides? Yeah, I’d be out too.
Even if they weren’t swingers, you’re not obligated to stick around in a situation that feels off. You trusted your gut and got you and your girlfriend out of a scenario that made you uncomfortable. That’s not being rude—that’s setting a boundary.
Not an arsehole for not wanting to feel uncomfortable, totally fair.
Sort of the arsehole for not finding a way to let your wife know.
NTA, the gf needs to wake up haha.
NTA. They were definitely swingers. And they were very close to revealing themselves. That doesn’t make them serial killers or anything but that also doesn’t mean you have to stick around if you’re not into it.
Well, fake, as most women don’t live to hear their partner repeatedly called handsome in a single meeting, but really, even if they were the most prim and proper couple in the world, their conversation is considered rude by anyone with a functioning brain
You have to trust your gut.
I’m endlessly shocked by what people do.
My work department had to fire two men that I had known extremely well for years for sexual harassment. I lived at a charming B&B for 18 months during a relocation during Covid and became close friends with my 80 year old landlord. My job had gone remote, I’d had a recent breakup and the business was largely shut down. When I could finally move, bought a house, she had a meltdown and proposed. I could hardly process it. And then I invited my sweet realtor friend for wine once I got settled, he literally got insanely inappropriate. Twenty years my junior, married with four kids.
I’m incredibly wary anymore. Spare yourself and your wife from finding out exactly what people are trying to manipulate. Your instincts are probably right.
As a woman, it’s just been a lifetime of of always having to take extra precautions and fending off unwanted advances. This is really disappointing that I can’t even age out of it. It has to be just a nightmare to be young and attractive.
NTA because you were uncomfortable.
Unlikely they were swingers, it’s an informed enthusiastic consent lifestyle but they made you uncomfortable with their comments, thats enough to want to get out quickly
You did the right thing
NTA, she needs to learn about subtlety. they are indeed swingers.
NTA (edited to add judgment)
My perception is that they’re either swingers, or they like making each other jealous.
I once had an ex that would get super jealous if I got too much attention, like to the point of putting me down about it, but then later wanted to bang about it (ego?) OR she’d try to make me jealous by giving her toxic bestie more attention/compliments than me. It caused a lot of issues when I gave her the space for personal autonomy. She wanted me to be mad and vengeful, like her. Some people are just into the psychological Rollercoaster.
NTA, if you were made uncomfortable because of how they were acting that’s fine, you are allowed to be uncomfortable.
But.
You could have acted like an adult about it.
Leave your options open. You never know.
Why not stay and eat the dinner and then leave? You think they wanted to fuck on the table?
Assuming they were swingers may have been wrong, getting the fuck out of there wasn’t! They sounded like bad company whatever they were!
Watch your gf though, maybe she was liking the attention. You’re NTA
Very soft asshole (for your GF only) because of the overly dramatic exit. Why couldn’t you just drop a line making it clear you are a solid monogamous couple and see how they reacted? Or even if it came down to having to confront them, do it openly, not behind your partner’s back.
Even if they weren’t swingers they were acting completely inappropriately – how could she not see this.
Nta. They were definitely swingers.
Definitely sounds like they were both hitting on you.
NTA, that sounds awkward AF
Your girlfriend should accept the fact that they made you feel uncomfortable and you wanted to get out of there. If she was the one feeling uncomfortable, would she want you to be supportive of getting her away from the situation?
NTA your girlfriend is naive
Even if they weren’t, you were uncomfortable. It’s never wrong to leave a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. NTA.
NTA. It doesn’t matter what you thought they were.
You were in a situation that made you DEEPLY uncomfortable. Why does your girlfriend think its okay to berate you for deciding to get out of there?
If she had been so deeply uncomfortable, would it be okay for you to treat her like that for deciding she wanted to get out of there?
Partners are supposed to support each other in situations like that.
THEY’RE SEX PEOPLE!
Maybe they were Jehovahs Witnesses and recruiting. More likely they were swingers. I would have left their funky asses too.
I’m in an open relationship. I date and sleep with people with my wife. These people are creepy and inappropriate as fuck. You didn’t right thing. Your GF has blinders on. Swingers or not (and I think you’re right that they were, because, honestly, thinking they aren’t makes the way they’re talking ever weirder) that wasn’t a cool situation to stay in. Always trust your gut with shit like that.
How did you guys miss the obvious signs of the upside down pineapple 🍍… naw you are not cray cray, those are pretty common tactics to see what you are willing to do and the next step is to talk about your experiences or play a game that breaks the ice.
Sometimes it is so normal to them that they don’t even realize how uncomfortable they make others feel
Not for assuming but you had your phone and could have texted your GF you were uncomfortable before making up an excuse.
NTA but how did your GF not pick up on the same vibe?
NTA – whether they were actually “swingers” or not doesn’t matter. They had a creepy vibe that made you uncomfortable.
Did anyone else picture Gary and Chloe from The White Lotus as the couple? Anyhow, you’re NTA. Maybe they were trying to outdo each other because of cheating issues, maybe they were serial killers idk. They were definitely creepy though and you were so right to follow your instincts.
Even if they weren’t swingers, they were making you uncomfortable with unnecessary and unwanted comments on your bodies and your GF’s race. You had every right to race to the door. NTA.
NTA — when the compliments start sounding like a casting call for a throuple, it’s totally fair to exit stage left. You dodged dinner and possibly a weird invitation.