AITA for being annoyed that my friends charged everyone full price at their “birthday party” at their own restaurant?

r/

So recently, I (30F) attended a birthday party for a friend. The couple hosting it (let’s call them Megan & Dave) own a popular restaurant in town, and they invited about 40 people to celebrate Megan’s birthday there. They closed the restaurant for the night just for the event, so it was a private party with only their invited guests.

At the beginning of the night, Dave made a birthday toast and said something along the lines of, “Thank you all for being here to celebrate Megan — order whatever you want!” So everyone kind of assumed it was being hosted, or at the very least subsidized. Nobody expected a free night necessarily, but the vibe was definitely “you’re invited to celebrate with us,” not “this is a group dinner and you’re footing your own bill.”

Well… fast forward to the end of the night, servers started bringing around individual cheques. Turns out everyone was charged full price — food, drinks, everything. Most couples ended up paying around $350 for the night, some more, some less.

People were really thrown off. The way it was presented made it seem like we were guests at a party, not customers at a business. Megan & Dave are not hurting financially — they just built a brand new home, drive luxury cars and take vacations.

From what we can tell, they profited around $5,000 from the night — off of their closest friends. Since then, a lot of us have been keeping our distance. It just felt super icky, like we were tricked into attending what was actually a cash-grab dinner disguised as a party.

Now Megan is confused why people are being distant, and I’m starting to wonder — AITA for being annoyed and not really wanting to hang out with them anymore?

Comments

  1. Salty_Thing3144 Avatar

    NTA! If you invite someone to a party, the understanding is that the host pays!  They tricked you and ambushed you.

    I would end the friendship over this.

  2. Mother_Search3350 Avatar

    LOL.. 😂🤣😂

    So they basically scammed you all into paying for their birthday party and even made a profit from the con? 

    Those con artists aren’t anybodys friends

    You all will be complete AH’s and idiots if you keep them in your circle of friends after they literally stole a whole dinner bill plus 5K from you 

  3. mustang19671967 Avatar

    I expect to pay but charging full
    Price when you are invited there is kind of scummy . I mean the standard is on a bill 1/3 is food drink cost 1/3 is expenses 1/3 is profit . So even at cost it’s 225 dollars . Alcohol may be more than 1/3 profit .

  4. Grumpy_Lurker Avatar

    NTA. They invited you to a birthday party and profited off the event. I wouldn’t want to socialize with them, either.

  5. ElowenThornevale Avatar

    Nah you’re not wrong. If you’re making bank and inviting friends to your birthday at your restaurant, at least comp something. Charging full price is wild.

  6. MarthaT001 Avatar

    NTA Wow, you have some really tacky ex-friends.

  7. Alarming_Poem_7343 Avatar

    NTA. Whether you own the restaurant or not, the general assumption is that the person inviting everyone covers the cost unless they specify otherwise in the invite. It’s even tackier that it’s their OWN RESTAURANT and their own party and they can’t foot the bill. This is crazy behavior and insanely rude.

  8. MsBaseball34 Avatar

    NTA and tell her exactly why everyone is ignoring them

  9. ncjr591 Avatar

    It happened to my son, his friend’s parents invited all the friends out for a birthday dinner, ordered appetizers and anything off the menu they wanted. When it was done they were expected to divide up the bill. It was the last time he celebrated with him. It cost me 150 bucks, because my son at the time was only 17. If I knew the parents I would have called them out.

  10. judgingA-holes Avatar

    NTA – I would assume that someone who owns a restaurant, is having their bday at their own restaurant, and who says “order whatever you want” would be paying for it. I mean if not, then why announce to order whatever you want? No shit sherlock I can order whatever I want if I’m paying for it, like WTF was the point in saying that.

  11. tigerz0973 Avatar

    So it wasn’t really an invite to a party it was an invite to be robbed blind.

    Damn they have some brass necks 🤣

  12. DBFool2019 Avatar

    NTA.

    The couple took advantage of all of their friends. I’m assuming people brought gifts for her as well? These are two very self-absorbed people.

  13. Buddy-Lov Avatar

    Oh HELL NO. What a racket. Those aren’t friends, those are grifters.

  14. Quiet_Village_1425 Avatar

    NTA. What a low ball move from your acquaintances. Lesson learned never attend a party hosted by them at business or home. Scandalous. Yes tell her the truth since they lack emotional intelligence to see it for themselves.

  15. Tight_Jaguar_3881 Avatar

    This happened to me over 40 years ago and I am still mad about it. It is so tacky to do that. It is different from explaining before that one is expected to pay. I felt ambushed. I was the designated driver for our group so did not drink but had to pay for others drinking.

  16. RandomReddit9791 Avatar

    NTA. This was wrong on many levels.

  17. Material_Cellist4133 Avatar

    NTA

    But someone needs to tell them what they did wasn’t okay. They should have been upfront about everything,

  18. changelingcd Avatar

    NTA. They charged you full price in a restaurant they OWN, at a birthday event that started with ‘order whatever you want’? Yep, you were all scammed. All the guests should tell them clearly and loudly they were deceitful scumbags, and not accept any “misunderstanding’ bullshit excuses. They knew exactly what they were doing from the start.

  19. Zestyclose-Height-36 Avatar

    ESH. All their friends presumed generosity and went for pricy meals, and they tricked you all. The $350 couples deserved their bills.

  20. CremeDeLaPants Avatar

    I would have made a full-ass scene. This wasn’t just wrong on principle. You were scammed.

  21. illini02 Avatar

    For me this is hard to say without really knowing how things were worded or phrased.

    It also depends on the people.

    I have some friends who if they say “we are going out to dinner for Jill’s birthday, would you like to come”, I don’t assume that means they are treating me.

    The “order whatever you want” line is questionable. But I’d also be curious as to what you were expecting at that point. You say you didn’t expect it to be free, so what was your thought.

    Also, did they really “profit” or just not take a hit. Restaurant margins are pretty thin as is, so saying they profited $5000 seems like its a bit misleading. They still had to provide the food, pay the staff, cover any lost revenue from being open, etc.

    BUT, I also don’t get why you can’t just tell her why you are being distant. If they were good enough friends for you to expect a free dinner from (or at least subsidized as you say), I’d assume they are good enough friends to have an honest conversation with.

  22. CrazyMeansCreative Avatar

    NTA and you should tell her… be frank. And if she’s bitching about it. Well it isn’t about her it’s about her friends that were deceived.

  23. Glinda-The-Witch Avatar

    ATA Honestly, if it was clear that they were hosting the birthday party you would be well within your rights to call them out. Say something like “I was disappointed to be invited to a party you were hosting only to find I was expected to pay for my meal. Your invitation did not make that clear.” or you can wait until you get the next invitation and simply decline saying “ no thank you, the last time I was invited to a party you were hosting it cost me $300“.

  24. HUNGWHITEBOI25 Avatar

    Wait…they hosted a party at THEIR restaurant…and still expected everyone to pay full price? No NTA. Sorry i don’t know if i just misread but…did they also expect a gift on top of that?

    This was sooo tacky omg…

  25. kriscnik Avatar

    “take whatever you like” would clearly tell me i dont have to pay or he should have worded it differently.

    Even charging reduced prices would have been tacky

  26. RainbowsintheUK Avatar

    This is how they afforded to build a new house and own new cars

  27. LongjumpingTone3544 Avatar

    The only way you the AH is if you don’t post this story as a Yelp review. This is crazy. Sounds like your birthday present was a 5 grand night.

  28. JenCanary Avatar

    So bizarre! I could understand if they wanted to have the event and then specify that it was a cash bar so that they weren’t giving away liquor, but that is unbelievably tacky. I would never have expected to have to pay for a birthday party at a restaurant owned by the person the party was for unless it said specifically that I was expected to – that would be like charging people for a reception after the reception was over. It’s a party at an event space – either charge upfront or specify that you’re going to have to pay like it’s open beforehand. Those people are trash!

  29. buttpickles99 Avatar

    NTA – I would have walked out without paying. They are not friends, friends don’t take advantage of people like that. Good riddance

  30. KathAlMyPal Avatar

    NTA…. An invite means you are hosting and paying unless otherwise specified. What they did was shady and dishonest.
    I don’t blame you for keeping your distance but many a few people need to step up and tell them what the issue is.

  31. No_Glove_1575 Avatar

    NTA. It’s common sense that when you HOST a party for yourself at your own place of business or residence, it’s on you. The “order what ever you want” line was the nail in the coffin for me. You don’t need these people as friends!

  32. JollyJeanGiant83 Avatar

    “I’ve never been to such an expensive birthday party before. It’s gonna be awhile before my budget recovers.” NTA

  33. Mela777 Avatar

    NTA, but if you want to address Megan’s bewilderment, you could explain that when someone invites you to a party and then tells the guests to order whatever they’d like, the vibe is definitely “it’s on us.” The best etiquette practice would have been to make it very clear when the invitations were issued that the guests would have to pay for their own food and drinks, and at the very least it should have been disclosed before anyone ordered. Megan and her husband threw her a party and then sprang the bill on the guests with no warning. That’s poor communication at best, but given that they own the place and seem to be doing well, it feels like they were taking advantage of their friends so as to not lose all the income from closing down for her party.

  34. Nofanta Avatar

    NTA. If they don’t refund all of the attendees money, I’d expect them to no longer have this group of friends.

  35. juzme99 Avatar

    Someone needs to be honest with Megan about this. How Dave told everyone order what you want and then billed everyone full price for every single thing

  36. JackieRogers34810 Avatar

    Oh, that’s gross. Can’t come back from that one.NTA

  37. tech-001 Avatar

    NTA at all! This would drive me crazy. It feels like they scammed everyone…

  38. FormerHoosier90 Avatar

    I’m gonna need an update on this one.

  39. Ornery-Ticket834 Avatar

    NTA. Let them figure it out.

  40. Valuable-Job-7956 Avatar

    NTA/INFO

    1 Did the invitation say anything about
    paying for food at the party at there restaurant

    2 Did anyone say anything about having to pay

  41. Southern_Orange3744 Avatar

    NTA , I thought this post was going to go a much different directions.

    They basically scammed their friend group, they intentionally misled the entire party by telling them to order whatever they wanted , and then charged full price.

    This is utterly ridiculous to the point where you add all this up and my opinion is intentional scam.

    There may be some background to help understand if they are in dire straits, but even then they could have been forthcoming and asked for support and people would have been acting in a way they deemed appropriate

  42. ekkidee Avatar

    Shitty people do shitty things.

    Find new friends.

  43. Prior-Tip-9713 Avatar

    NTA

    I felt the ick from here. Ew. When people show you who they are… believe them. These people chose to profit from their party. You can walk and feel justified.

  44. Fine-Froyo-3817 Avatar

    I’m super stuck on the phrase “order whatever you want,” which, to my ears, implies he’s picking up the tab. If he actually said those words and then charged you…you’re not wrong in being annoyed. My own reaction would be far stronger than mere annoyance.

  45. loop6719 Avatar

    What a dick move by Dave and Megan

  46. Geronimoski Avatar

    >Now Megan is confused why people are being distant

    Bullshit. She’s pissy because she knows why everyone is being distant. She just thought she’d get away with it. Now she’s playing stupid so that if someone does spell it out for her, she can play the victim, “It was my birthday! We never said we were paying! You’re ruining our friendship over money!” NTA.

  47. DidAnyoneFeedTheDog Avatar

    NTA but someone should tell them why everyone is distant and upset. She may not like to hear it, but it sounds like the relationship is already ruined.

  48. WhiteKnightPrimal Avatar

    NTA. It doesn’t sound like anyone expected a free meal, but you were all invited as guests. The implication is either the hosts are paying for everything, or it will be covered by them to an extent with the guests paying a smaller amount.

    Plus, think about how that initial toast was worded. You were encouraged to go all out. $350 is a lot of money, and that seems to have been the average cost. If you’d all known upfront that you were footing your own bill at full price, I bet most of you would have seriously lowered that expense with less food and drinks and cheaper options. None of you had the chance to budget such an expensive meal because it was implied it was either free or subsidised by the hosts.

    The polite thing, the decent thing, is to be upfront on the costs. If they knew they wanted you paying yourselves at full price, they should have told you that before the party, so you could budget for it, keep the price minimal or choose not to come as you couldn’t afford it. What if a good portion of the guests didn’t have that kind of money available? What if paying for this party means they can’t afford food for the rest of the month? Just because they’re doing well financially, doesn’t mean the rest of you are, and most people don’t talk about their financial issues enough for it to be known if there were difficulties.

    I don’t blame you guys for being distant. You were blindsided into paying a large bill your hosts had deliberately implied was either fully or partially covered.

    If you want to try and mend things, talk to Megan. Explain that no one is happy that you were all led to believe the cost would at least be subsidised by the hosts who invited you only to be blindsided at the end of the night with full price costs none of you had the chance to budget for. Make it clear you don’t mind the fact you had to pay for your food and drinks, just the fact you weren’t informed of that fact before the party and were led to believe the meal would be at least subsidised. See how she reacts. That will tell you if this is a friendship worth working on or not.

  49. saxman522 Avatar

    NTA. Should’ve dined and dashed

  50. ChickenScratchCoffee Avatar

    They aren’t friends…they are scammers.

  51. Aggressive-Union1714 Avatar

    If you put it on a credit card do a chargeback

  52. Hoagy72 Avatar

    Megan is confused! Tell her why.

  53. Money-Possibility606 Avatar

    NTA. That is nuts. I never assume that if I’m invited to a birthday dinner that it’s free… I do assume that I’m going to pay unless I’m told otherwise, and I’m totally fine with that. I couldn’t afford to foot the bill for all my friends either. BUT… if the dinner is at THEIR restaurant, that’s an entirely different story. Even saying “order whatever you want” is SO weird… because if you were going to pay anyway, of COURSE you could order whatever you want? It’s like they went out of their way to confuse you, even encourage you to order more than normal – just so they could charge you for it.

    I also have friends who owned a restaurant and we had lots of parties there. They would tell us up front that drinks are comped, or that they would be sending out free appetizers, but that the rest of the meal would be on us – they might discount the bill, but they were upfront about it, and we were good with that. They had always been really open about how difficult running a restaurant was, how razor thin the margins were, etc., and we totally understood and supported that, and we never expected anything for free – but the difference is they were honest.

  54. Equal-Flatworm-378 Avatar

    NTA
    That’s wild.
    Just tell Meghan the truth: they INVENTED you and then made you pay…after an announcement like that.

    Just tell her, she earned a lot of money that evening, but lost a lot of friends. Hopefully that was worth it.

  55. 63Rambler Avatar

    If she’s a true friend , tell her.

  56. Head_Trick_9932 Avatar

    They’re grimey.

    NTA

  57. Mother-Working-750 Avatar

    Just did this for a Birthday Party not long ago. All food was paid for, it was a set menu. And this was told to the guests prior to coming on the invite. The only thing guests had to pay for was their own alcoholic drinks.
    Wow your friends suck.

  58. Stabbycrabs83 Avatar

    NTA

    I would always assume I had to pay and order accordingly and would have asked upfront. The event seems very confusing

    It’s on the hosts to remove that confusion though

  59. Excellent-Big-1581 Avatar

    Invite them to a BBQ make sure the rest of your friends are in on it and then after eating and drinking announce the cost per person for your event. Then your friends should pay in front of them and also tip! This should get a great response!!!

  60. unclefire Avatar

    NTA — they should have been up front with expectations on cost. Flip side is they probably should have discounted at the very least if they were gonna throw a party and expect guests to pay.

    But honestly — FFS– it’s 40 people. They’re too cheap to host 40 people for a birthday party?

    Wife and I hosted a retirement party for my BIL (I think they catered food and we provided stuff as well) — we didn’t ask people to pay and we were easily 40 people.

  61. zamzuki Avatar

    INFO – why did you refer to them as friends?

  62. twilight9449 Avatar

    NTA they had an obligation to at least let yall know and not act like it was free or cheaper. Thats wild lol

  63. pepedex Avatar

    NTA Megan and Dave are for sure assholes.

  64. Flycandyfly Avatar

    NTA — got invited to a birthday bash, not a surprise invoice seminar. If the vibe is “order whatever,” no one expects a $350 plot twist. Charging your friends to celebrate you at your own restaurant? That’s not a party, that’s a business strategy.

  65. Ancient-Meal-5465 Avatar

    You’re NTA

    But don’t tell Megan why everyone hates her.  She will just turn on you.

    You need to ghost her.  She isn’t a friend.

    Some people are really struggling right now and these people are awful.   They scammed all of you.  

  66. FinancialCamel7281 Avatar

    I wouldn’t be friends with these people, what a con, on the other hand some people were taking advantage of what the thought was free food and drinks. That’s the thing about assumptions, it always comes back to bite you.

  67. Not-That_Girl Avatar

    I bet if they had paying clients host a dinner party for 42 people they would get a DISCOUNT! Maybe ask someone to call up and enquire? Then throw that at your ex friend Megan. But do tell her, that you’re disappointed, and sad, and you don’t trust her now.

    Who know what they might pull next? I’d never want to go to anything they arranged ever again, and I’m from a background where we pay our own way, get invited to a resutrant? I’m paying for my own dinner. Watch out before they invite ppl you to a house party with an entrance fee….

  68. enlightenedavo Avatar

    I would end the friendship and spend a hot minute thinking of charging back the meal.

  69. kae0603 Avatar

    That’s horrible. They were really shady

  70. LifeCanBeAboxOfSh- Avatar

    They had no right not to advise you upfront that your bill and tip for the waiters and staff was your gift to them. I understand staff has to be paid and food cost more these days; but that was wrong; not to communicate that and worse to say “get what you want”; as if they were covering!

    If you think they are friends; then give them your thoughts & tell them about themselves. If they are self absorbed without the ability to communicate properly & willing to learn from their mistakes; then cut them off.

    If they start taking defensively about how much they’ve done in the past for others; point out this too shows a lack of communicating their feelings and thoughts at the right time; and that it doesn’t change the latest issue. And that if they want to really show that they are friends, they need to work on communication properly.

  71. CyberDonSystems Avatar

    NTA. Man, that is some next level bullshit to pull on friends. I would have absolutely assumed they were footing the bill. They would absolutely be ex-friends for me.

  72. Chance_Culture_441 Avatar

    You all need to tell Megan that people are being distant because they don’t appreciate being scammed under the guise of celebrating a birthday party. It’s hard to believe that she doesn’t understand how messed up that is, but maybe she is that naive?

    Either way- NTA- I would be more than annoyed, I’d be pissed! Especially if my budget didn’t allow for that kind of surprise waste of money. Had people known before hand that they would be charged, they could have planned accordingly. Totally messed up!

  73. No-Nonsense-Please Avatar

    This is insanity. NTA for sure. I’d put those people on blast.

  74. MyChoiceNotYours Avatar

    NTA they definitely did a bait and switch. I’d stop being their friend.

  75. gonzosurg Avatar

    NTA. If they sprung it on everyone as you described, it is shitty to do to friends. They could have asked guests to pay cost, but profit from a party they hosted is definitely scummy behavior. If you are good friends otherwise, you could gently explain why everyone is upset.

  76. Setsuna00XN Avatar

    NTA. Look, if I’m invited to someone else’s party, the expectation is that I don’t have to pay for being there. Just like if I host a party, I’m expected to foot the bill.

    Expecting you to pay to eat at their restaurant that they own, and pay full price, is a dick move. Fuck them. Go no contact with them, and advise your friend circle that you are doing so and why. If the rest of your friends are as pissed off, they’ll do the same. That’s how you find your true friends.👍

  77. Amiedeslivres Avatar

    NTA

    If Megan asks, you can say, ‘When you invited me to your party, I thought I was a guest. You treated me like a customer. There’s a difference, and I wasn’t forewarned. This seems to be a feeling a lot of us share. At the very least, if you were going to do that, you should have communicated up front. People might have made different choices about whether to attend or what to order, based on their budgets and circumstances. And if you feel you must charge to cater your private parties from your restaurant, maybe do a prix-fixe menu, or a buffet, and put the price in the invitation.’

  78. Medeya24 Avatar

    NTA. Owner saying “order whatever you want” implies that it’s on him. I would be livid if I got that check because I would usually order something different.

  79. destiny_kane48 Avatar

    NTA, those people are not your (or the other 39 people) friends. Just put the greedy people in your rear view mirror.

  80. Secure_Engineer7151 Avatar

    Sounds like the same people that charge friends to attend their wedding and still expect a gift. NTA, you should be double pissed!

  81. mr-spencerian Avatar

    NTA. Maybe you should invite them over for dinner and drop a bill on them.

  82. No-Process-8478 Avatar

    Out them, so the rest of us can boycott them too

  83. RubyTx Avatar

    You guys were not friends. You were marks.

    They invited you to their establishment to celebrate them-and then charged you for it.

    They valued their relationship with your wallet more than the relationship with you.

    Act with that knowledge. NTA.

  84. HereWeGo_Steelers Avatar

    NTA, but hopefully, someone tells them why their friends are no longer spending time with them.

  85. Economy_Recipe3969 Avatar

    NTA, and if I had been one of the guests, I would have retrieved my gift to her on my way out.

  86. Ruateddybear2 Avatar

    ESH. I see both sides here. It costs a lot of money to host a dinner at a restaurant, food, staff, etc. even if you do own the place. The wait staff and kitchen definitely needs paid and tipped. They should have told people that would be paying for their own meals up front so everyone could decide to go or not. That was either miscommunication or they just assumed people knew and/or didn’t care to tell people. They are your friends, in your heart do you think they did it on purpose? I’d have a honest conversation first with them and then decide.

  87. Agile_Towel1099 Avatar

    I hate it when this ‘unspoken’ stuff happens and you definitely aren’t the AH.

    Similar thing happened to my wife and I many years ago.

    When we were just married, she told me about one of her family friends (from Germany living in the US) who started hosting a BBQ for a few people, including my wife’s family.

    Over the years, it grew from maybe 20 or so people to close to 100 or even more, so in the previous years, they started charging a fee to everyone before they parked, which I think was completely reasonable, because they had to smoke a few pigs to feed everyone.

    So my wife and I went for the first time, but we were very late because we were coming back from my parents house a couple of states away.

    It was towards the end of the ‘party’, and when we drove in to park in the grass field, the parking helper charged me $40 ($20 ea). Not a big deal and I expected it.

    What I didn’t expect was that by the time we got to the eating area, the only thing left was a couple pans, which literally only had pig fat. The host (wife) behind the counter literally scraped the fat onto our plates. I just put the plate down on the table, walked over and got one beer.

    I was pretty irritated, and after the one beer (from a keg), we left.

    I was, at the time, a lot tighter w/$ than I am now, so I called them and asked for our $40 back. They blew up, and so did everyone else in my wife’s family, calling me cheap.

    When I told them exactly what happened, her family members completely understood, but the people who hosted were still pissed. They mailed me the money back, with a semi-nasty passive aggressive note.

    My contention was that as soon as they ran out of pork, they should’ve stopped charging. I realized the parking dudes couldn’t know the food had run out, but the actual host (the wife) was the one who actually scraped the disgusting, watery pig fat onto our plates should have told us to get our money back since she knew there wasn’t any more pork.

    Needless to say, we weren’t invited to the annual pig roast anymore – no loss.

  88. dunksoverstarbucks Avatar

    NTA ; I wouldn’t have expected a free meal but i would have thought it would have been a discounted one

  89. Any-Tomatillo-5037 Avatar

    Ahh, the classic Trump grift. SMDH. NTA

  90. itsmepuffd Avatar

    LMFAO I would be on their ass for this. Is Megan being confused because nobody is telling her how shitty this whole ordeal was, or? If no one is speaking up, no wonder

  91. Dingo-thatate-urbaby Avatar

    EVERYONE should let them know exactly why they aren’t speaking to them and name and shame them publicly in my opinion.

    WHO DOES THIS??

  92. Ephemeral-laremehp3 Avatar

    They are not your friends.

  93. Sleepygirl57 Avatar

    Tell her exactly why every one is mad and cutting ties with them. Then cut ties with them.

  94. BUZBAD Avatar

    Nta. I think your math is wrong because 40 people at 100 each is 4000. Even if half the people there were couples at 350 that 7000. They made between 10 to 15 thousand of easy money off all of you, with that one little trick.

  95. Drew_2423 Avatar

    NTA but maybe she didn’t know that he was not providing the party costs.

  96. EmergencyCat3589 Avatar

    NTA but you might be perceived as one if you speak on behalf of the friend group before confirming that they feel the same way and that they feel comfortable sharing that with the couple. If you want speak from your perspective alone, use words of ownership. I FELT…..I THINK. Because if the couple were to confirm and confront the group some people might deny that they feel that way but feel secretly relieved that a message has been sent to the couple (who hopefully will try to make amends ) without having initiated potential conflict.

  97. IntelligentCitron917 Avatar

    I would be fuming.. don’t get me wrong I would expect to pay for my own meal, but when it’s deliberately mentioned to order what you want, that implies the cost is being covered.

    When we go out to eat we are often on a budget so being told to order what we want we might treat ourselves to something we might not usually have.

    If they had said order what you like, 10%, 25% or even 50% discount would have given warning to everyone exactly where they stood price wise.

    To, at the last minute give FULL price invoices to all invitees who may be financially embarrassed at that point. Having believed that their meals were covered. Not everyone can splash out on expensive meals.

    Closing the restaurant for a private party of friends to then make an extensive profit from them by misleading them all into believing that their bills would be covered is awful.

    I would be upset, too, if this had happened.

    You most definitely are NTA Your friend though is TA

    Updateme!

  98. ToughAd7338 Avatar

    I would call Megan and tell her how extremely sleazy it is to invite you to a party at THEIR restaurant and tell everyone TO ORDER WHATEVER YOU WANT and then expect people to pay anything much less FULL PRICE! She will no longer be your friend anyway so you might as well explain what pieces of shit they are if she is so CONFUSED about it!

  99. _aerofish_ Avatar

    Question: has anyone straight-up told them why they’re being distant?

  100. AccurateThought4932 Avatar

    NTA. I’d tell the now ex friend why you can no longer be friends.

  101. joan868 Avatar

    So they killed their own reputation and every close friendship over $5,000, lol jokes on them NTA

  102. Good_Bet7702 Avatar

    NTA – the way it was presented was that it was free. It was completely icky.

  103. TheCalamityBrain Avatar

    NTA

    Maybe make a public Facebook post warning people in town?

  104. Hagfist Avatar

    Cons. You’re nta

  105. Tine-E-Tim Avatar

    You are all totally in the right for being offended. Free for everyone may have pushed a bit hard for sure. But a good discount or base price would be fine. Proper restaurant prices for all of you literally means they used you for profit to fund whatever next little thing they want. Especially if he opened the night with order what you want, he was gassing you all up to spend 350 instead of 80-100. NTA

  106. Main_Laugh_1679 Avatar

    Not your friends and scum for ripping all of you off. Plus they profited 5K. Go NC. There exposed now

  107. This_Mark5397 Avatar

    I would have totally called them out in front of everyone at the restaurant, they literally scammed their entire friend group how tacky get people get

  108. Diesel07012012 Avatar

    Fuck them. Holy shit.

  109. Goth_Muppet Avatar

    NTA– now I think I know why they are able to so easily afford so many luxury things. They probably pull shit like this in all sorts of manner. They sound like grifter and scam artist, and the fact that they baited you guys into ordering as much as possible and then profit and so heavily off of you all, it’s disgusting. I would not keep them in my Friend circle anymore and I would not frequent any of their crappy businesses anymore.
    If they decide to profit off of 40 of their closest friends with trickery, then they can afford to lose 40 customers for the future because they just see you all as a cash grab and not actually friends. I hope every single one of you that was scammed blocks them out and basically cut them out of your life and leave them hanging and wondering what the hell happened

  110. CrankyBiker Avatar

    NTA.

    “Megan, we appreciate the chance to celebrate you privately at your restaurant, but how it went down isn’t sitting well with people. We were invited, and at the beginning Dave said “order whatever you want!” which is usually a clear sign that some portion is being hosted. And that wasn’t the case, we all paid full price for everything, and some were surprised at the end . That’s an expensive dinner we didn’t sign up for, not a fun party hosted by our friends. It was a sour note at the end, and some people felt tricked into a bigger night than they would have had if they knew they were paying.”

  111. unimpressed-one Avatar

    Wow, that’s pretty bad. I’d be more than annoyed.

  112. livestrongsean Avatar

    If I invite friends to a restaurant for my or my wife’s birthday, I pay – every time. Doing it at my own restaurant and making them pay? Holy crap.

  113. Over-Marionberry-686 Avatar

    NTA. Yeh this was shitty of them. Id back away and possibly even ghost someone who did this. Have you told them your concerns?

  114. dizzydazey Avatar

    They’re the assholes. Maybe not necessarily for charging you but definitely for not being upfront about that fact. You can’t tell people to order whatever they’d like as if it’s going to be comped and then charge them. Because that’s what makes it a scam! People are ordering outside of their means then. So shady…

  115. Globewanderer1001 Avatar

    When I tell someone “order what you want”, that means I’m paying.

    They’re con artists and terrible “friends”.

  116. RDOFAN Avatar

    Ahh the old friends in business and made money off me rant. Why do people EXPECT concessions because of friendship. They are running a business after all!

  117. Mindless-Locksmith76 Avatar

    She’s not confused, she’s trying to fein social incompetence. “Let me play confused little victim and hurt so everyone will just gloss over my obviously greedy faux pas.” Someone is probably living well beyond their means (house, cars, etc.) and though this was a slick way to get some quick cash. And heavens forbid their closest friends talk about it. They know what they did was low class, greedy, and manipulative but they need everyone to forget about that now, its not a good look for them.

    NTA

    I’d put some distance on the friendship and maybe send the “hosts” a copy of the big book of manners.

  118. DenseSign5938 Avatar

    YTA because this is fake. 

    No one is luxury car rich from owning a restaurant lol 

  119. Jessabelle517 Avatar

    Wow. Shocker. You should call them out on this issue and let them know why. Just ignoring the issue makes you kind of the AH since it’s not really bold to just duck out and distance yourself but if you call them at their hand you wouldn’t be the AH, they need to be called on their bullshit. They must not be good friends if you can’t be honest with them about the situation.

    Edit; we know they’re are clearly AH but they need to know how they are by doing what they did.

  120. Rivsmama Avatar

    NTA but I would have confronted them that night and been like yo wtf? Why did you tell everyone to order what they want? Why didn’t you say from the beginning that you were going to charge us full price?

    People like that depend on other people to not speak up and adhere to social norms in order to get away with their behavior. They knew what they were doing.

  121. fried-apple-fritters Avatar

    Sounds like they need money and conned their “friends” for some cash

  122. slick6719 Avatar

    Why is she “confused”. Tell her why people are being distant! Won’t fix it but damn they need to know that which they pulled off is unacceptable behavior!

  123. -whiteroom- Avatar

    How about you tell them.

  124. Keddert Avatar

    Unfortunately, it’s the wealthiest people that are the cheapest. In my business, the rich ones are the ones complaining/fighting about prices. Just had a client, who lives in the wealthiest spot in all of Vancouver, try to get a discount for a product needing replacing 1 year before its average replacement date.

  125. Prideandprejudice1 Avatar

    Yeah they will forever be used as an example of “how to lose friends and alienate people.” I hope they think the party was worth it 🥴

  126. RigatoniMeatSauce Avatar

    NTA. I’d also be curious to know what night of the week the chose for their party? Was it a night they are usually closed or slow so the profit they made from their friends was extra nice? Is their restaurant doing badly and they are living beyond their means and set up their friends to subsidize their problems? Whatever the case, they are so uncouth.

  127. Aggravating-Can-1743 Avatar

    NTA If you brought a gift, I hope you took it home with you.

  128. Uncle_chuck13 Avatar

    Wow I’m fuming for you

  129. Mother_Search3350 Avatar

    They’re going to invite you all to their destination location vow renewal and expect you to foot the bill for everything including their fancy attire next 😂🤣😂

  130. Electrical-Tone7301 Avatar

    How come you actually paid the bill lmao.
    I’d fucking go for a smoke after hearing that.

  131. halfpepper Avatar

    They charged you full price when they buy the food they served you wholesale…

  132. phoenix823 Avatar

    Let’s assume this is true. 20 couples at $350 each would mean a $7000 total bill. There’s no way in the world the restaurant profit $5000 from this, margins are much thinner. And you did get a discount; shutting down a restaurant to have a private party is much more expensive than just going to that restaurant and ordering on any normal day. They’re still paying the chef and the waitstaff. Do your friends really think you deserved to mooch thousands of dollars worth of food, drinks, and service off of those people?

  133. Audiooldtimer Avatar

    Amazing that they are surprised that people were upset for being used!
    How do they not inform people prior to the event?
    How can they assume that all of their (former) friends can afford the expense?

    Word will get out and their restaurant will fail