my (32f) husband (32m) has been complaint of a bump on his nose for a few days. He went to the ER today and eventually he was told he has chlamydia. I knew he had been infected before we got together 8 years ago. And thought he’d had it treated. Apparently if you don’t finish the course of antibiotics then it can come back. My fury comes from the fact that in 8 years I’ve never had it. I’ve been pregnant twice. And I know they test for STDs when you’re pregnant. Up until last year we had a very active sex life. I changed jobs and haven’t been home often. And even when I am home I’m tired. My husband has also been working more.
When I picked him up from the hospital and he told me he was infected I was furious. How could he have had it all this time and I’ve never gotten it? The only way I can see him having it and I not, is if he’s cheated. It wouldn’t be the first time. He started crying in the car, saying he hadn’t cheated and he’s sorry that his past has caused these issues now. I couldn’t care less if this I just something flared up again from a past incident. I wasn’t exactly a virgin when we met. I knew he had a sexual past. Shit happens. My anger comes from the possibility that he cheated on me. I told him that. I told him the crying was just making me angrier. He told me to pull over and let him out of the car and now he’s walking home. We weren’t very far. I’m just sitting in the car in front of our place typing this. I don’t even know what I want to do. Or should do. I’m just so sick of this shit. I can’t take care of our kids on my own. I feel so stupid. And stuck.
Edit: I plan on getting tested. I’m hoping the doctor may be able to explain how it’s possible this happened. From what I’ve seen online it can be dormant for years in men. But I’m just confused why I haven’t got it yet.
Edit2: the “bump” is apparently Blepharitis
Comments
NTA. I’d be pissed. He cheated. It’s more comfortable to think of other scenarios where this could be the outcome, but frankly there is none. You’ve been tested before, if he had it before you would have been positive. This is something new he got and fuck him for putting you at risk. Mad is an understatement!
Chlamydia doesn’t just “flare up” like Herpes.
You may be a bit naïve, but you’re not the asshole.
He cheated.
The clap doesn’t work like that… he’s cheating.
I’m so sorry for you. You have every right to be angry. And I think your instincts are correct unfortunately. Go get tested. Chlamydia untreated in women can cause severe fertility problems.
I’m pretty sure he cheated on you…sorry
Uhhhhh chlamydia is wildly contagious. I know multiple people that have gotten it after their partners cheated and they were not sleeping together for very long. Multiple of them only had one sexual encounter with the person who gave it to them. Wildly contagious. I think he’s lying.
The crying and asking you to pull over feels manipulative asf. Instead of explaining clearly, he’s trying to guilt you. That would make me even angrier too. NTA
Is the guy’s name Pinocchio? This is not a good look, in so many ways. Time for you to evaluate the future, and is it with this guy?
You know what’s really going on here. Chlamydia is not like herpes that randomly flares up 8 years later. He’s cheating. You may not show symptoms but please get tested
Rage bait. So easy.
It is possible.
In some cases, the infection can remain dormant in the body for extended periods, even years, before symptoms develop.
NTA – this is a new case of chlamydia. When antibiotics are not finished the infection comes back within weeks it doesn’t lay dormant for years, if it was the same case from years back you would have tested positive for each pregnancy
Nope this is from cheating. The odds of a woman contracting chlamydia is moderate per act and condoms aren’t as effective as we’d like them to be
Chlamydia can lay dormant for over 10 years without the carrier knowing, causing a low-grade infection. This is because chlamydia is a common asymptomatic (showing no symptoms while infected) STD, and most people are unaware if they are infected.
NTA – He’s crying because he knows he’s cheated and been caught out. Divorce him. It’s serious to infect partners like this. He’ll have to help you look after the children so you’ll have his help still and child support.
One of the primary reasons Chlamydia can be transmitted without cheating is that the infection can remain dormant, or asymptomatic, for an extended period – often for weeks, months, or sometimes years. Indeed, most people with a Chlamydia infection will not experience any symptoms at all.
It is possible. Dude is the AH for not following through in the beginning. Wife hopefully can trust that he might be telling the truth
That man cheating
NTA. Your husband is stepping out on you.
Umm he went to the hospital for a bump on his nose?! The ER? Odd. But who has an std & doesn’t complete their medication? And your to believe that in all this time it’s magically laid dormant & you are magically immune? (Btw, I was told by a nurse that they don’t always run std tests on married/ltr as standard procedure. When I was pregnant, I was given the option. I’m not all that familiar w stds but I know that one is supposed to be highly contagious.
Chlamydia can also be transferred by skin to skin contact, no sexual contact necessary.
…he cheated…Op he cheated…you know thats not how STD’s get passed along.
You’re NTA but you really need to open your eyes…
NTA. Get yourself tested and file for divorce.
He’s a lying cheater with a nasty side piece.
NTA
NTA he cheated. Even if he hadn’t kick his ass out for previous cheating
Yea, he’s been sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. This isn’t herpes. You’re NTAH
Oof. This is a new one, not at all related to the first one.
Got it from some dirty cooch I’m guessing.
He’s definitely cheating.
NTA.
He is cheating, I am sorry, but put your house in order. Make this your ending, not the beginning.
lol he cheated
You should definitely read this post. The one about the woman whose boyfriend got chlamydia from a koala and it stayed dormant for a long time. But they both thought the other cheated.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/39kGd04Uuc
You’re not the asshole but it’s possible that it was dormant all that time. Instead of asking him, your best that is to ask a doctor. I’m a doctor, but I’m not his doctor, so you need to go to one of his doctors appointments with him and get this straightened out, otherwise you’re going to be resenting him for something he may not have done.
He cried to manipulate you when he’s a cheating dog that caught chlamydia. I’d have major ick from that, NTA
Hi. I cheated and caught chlamydia. He cheated. Sorry.
Chlamydia hours away with antibiotics. If you don’t finish the treatment, it simply doesn’t go away and at that point, you’d definitely have it
NTA obviously. He was burying his nose in it
He’s cheating
He had a bump ON his nose? I just looked it up. Chlamydia doesn’t grow outside the mucus membrane of the back of the throat. It can get to the back of the nose membrane.
It will NOT grow on the outside. I call rage bait.
NTA Updateme
NTA. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. He absolutely cheated and you deserve better. I’d suggest very calmly to him that he needs to find somewhere else to stay.
I wonder if when he got out of the car he went to that person’s house.
Girl, leave his ass. NTA
YTA
For abusing AITA with this question.
He cheated. He got it again.
That is not an STD that flares up like herpes. He actively cheated on you, and he did not use protection. The crying and the Big show is because he knows he’s caught, and he decided to get out of the car so he has more time to come up with a story. I would love to hear what kind of BS he’s going to try to tell you.
Yuck. Dude is definitely cheating. Regardless his reaction is disgusting too. He should’ve expected yelling and anger and for you to be upset. I hope you come back clear and leave him. Also he had it so long he got a bump on his nose? I’m so grossed out by this
felt like my brain just snapped in half like a glowstick after reading this
>my husband went to the ER for a bump on his nose
>doctor: maam your husband has gonorrhea of the face
>apparently if you dont finish antibiotics it comes back 8 years later
yeah and if i dont finish my cereal it magically refills
>ive been pregnant twice, they test for STDs when youre pregnant
congrats, you just proved hes raw-dogged you unprotected for years and you somehow dodged it like neo in the matrix
>he started crying in the car
classic “ugly man tears as defense mechanism” play
>i told him the crying was just making me angrier
based moment actually, keep that energy.
from a clinical perspective, one does not “carry” chlamydia in their nostril like a cursed pokemon. this isnt an RPG side quest infection that lays dormant for 8 years waiting for cutscene drama. untreated chlamydia wrecks one’s reproductive system; it doesnt hide in the sinus cavity like a ninja. what youve got here is either:
a) he cheated and brought home fresh clap.
or
b) the ER doctor told him something else and he misheard through his own guilt and snot.
the reason youve never tested positive in 8 years with two pregnancies is simple: because he hasnt had chlamydia for 8 years. if he did, you would have been positive by year one and probably had pelvic inflammatory disease by year two. theres no magic STD immunity perk.
so lets reconstruct:
>married 8 years
>no positive STD test for you in all that time
>he “suddenly” has chlamydia right when youve been tired and sex life slowed
>iTs JuSt FrOm ThE pAsT
>starts crying in the car like a toddler who dropped his ice cream
this is textbook guilty guy meltdown. he got infected fresh; the odds of it being anything else are microscopic.
what to do:
get tested again. full STD panel.
tell him he needs to bring his discharge summary from the ER so you can see exactly what was written. no more “doctor said this” telephone game.
make him test again under your supervision with a verified clinic.
if it comes back positive and yours is negative, you have your proof. hes cheating; case closed.
hes weaponizing tears because he knows the jig is up. stop letting him drive the narrative. get clinical proof, then decide if you want to keep raising kids with a guy who treats fidelity like a coupon code.
NTA
Bunch a morons in this post lmao
Definitely cheated
You need to ask your doctor about this about his story if there’s any truth to it because it sound like it’s BS
And why I say that it’s because I read a story of a couple in Australia that had children knew when she went in for a check up. She found out that she had chlamydia and went back and started questioning the husband. He got to the point where they slipped in separate rooms because according to her, he was adamant that he never cheated on her and that she guided from cheating.
After a couple of months, he came back and told her that he was sorry that he accused her of infidelity because he read somewhere where koala bears were a carrier of it and that she must’ve gotten it when the koala bear peed on her, and of course, she believed him
I do not know the length of time between his story he told her until the truth finally came out bottom line. The koala bear didn’t give her that the husband did he was the carrier, and he finally admitted to his infidelity or somehow somehow she found out and confronted him, and he admitted it.
Why am I telling you this because your husband sounds like a bullshit story and that’s why you need to talk to your doctor about this it probably is already too late and it would be an invasion of privacy. You might want to go through his phone, but there’s a good chance that if he has been cheating on you that he has any incriminating evidence.
You must be devastated. Yes he cheated. You can both take care of your kids while living separate lives. It’s difficult yes but easier than living with someone who disrespects your intelligence and your health. Good luck
Chlamydia isn’t herpes which lies latent in your nerve tissues. He cheated.
Chlamydia starts with a C for a reason. Unless he found an ancient pair of his boxers that he sniffed to see if they were clean… NTA. I know I’m not everyone else and no one else is me, but if I was your husband in that situation I would (whether it’s correct or wrong is for a different thread I’m just being accountable about my reaction) be asking you if you’ve been faithful.
There’s also the risk that he has contracted multiple STDs and doesn’t want to say what the bump really is. Whether you’re the asshole or not just please make sure to get checked out. It’s 2025 and there’s so much out there now sadly.
He’s lying.
Chlamidia actually CAN be dormant for years and flare up again
Oh he most certainly cheated on you. And, he would have had to get this by oral sex. NTA
Yeah, he’s lying. I’m sorry.
He cheated. Proceed as such
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UpdateMe
NTA. He’s lying. Blepharitis is on the eye not the nose.
NTA. Based on the information you’re presenting here it seems most likely that he is a cheater, a liar, and an emotional manipulator. It would be lovely if there was some other explanation, and outliers DO happen, but most sexually active folks know chlamydia by reputation as fairly contagious?
Um the clap doesn’t just come back. If he didnt finish his antibiotics, it didnt go away hes just always had it.
Or he cheated on you.
I don’t know if they do a full panel during STD tests while pregnant. But if they don’t, ask for a full panel. Please get tested for Herpes. Idk if he’s still cheating on you but he has. STD/STIs don’t just “pop up” you have to be exposed to them. Please please please get a full panel if you haven’t already.
Cheating with no condom is crazy work
I have never heard of that causing a bump on the nose! Really?!
Is that the only place he is having symptoms?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he didn’t take the antibiotics as prescribed, he had it for years, … What? He had it 8 years ago. And now!
So, he got it by doing what he was doing 8 years ago: HE CHEATED!
You’re definitely NTA, you need to dump him, and don’t give him another chance. If you do, he’ll just do it again. Not only has he betrayed your trust, you now have the possibility of having an std, which could end up being life threatening. He needs to learn some self control, and you need to find someone else or stay single
Time to get your finances together and have all the medical records together. You’re going to want to file for alimony when the divorce happens. Go get tested, a new test. I work in healthcare this is no “flare up” that’s not really a thing with chlamydia. Don’t let him manipulate you just play along until you can get your own place but dont touch him. He thinks you are gullible.
Get rid of him. He cheated on you. Gross.