Hey Reddit I just need an outside opinion on this because I’ve had mixed reviews on this story and want to see if I can keep this unbiased as possible.
For context, I (23M) live in Australia and work in WA with my friend (25M). We both had to get to Sydney, NSW for a course for work and do to unforeseen circumstances the course got shortened from 5 months to 1.5 months.
Before this course started we both agreed to drive from Perth, WA to Sydney NSW. Now for those unaware, Australia is HUGE and this drive is nearly 4,000km (or 2,500 miles). This drive took us 5 days of driving close to all day. Another reason for driving was saving cost, it cost me roughly $750aud (~500USD) of my own money to drive there. Flights are around $1k AUD ($650USD).
Another, point that I’d like to add is that Australia has massive stretches of road that have no reception whatsoever. No “SOS Only” even in some parts. The idea was we would help each other if anything went wrong. On the driver to Sydney I didn’t have reception with my provider for nearly 2 1/2 days at one point. He had reception about 95% of the trip.
Long story short the course was shortened and we needed to replan the whole trip back and quickly.
After a week of planning, on Tuesday i was walking down the corridor and passed my friend who wasn’t wearing his work uniform. He then tells me he has found someone to drive him to the airport for his 5pm Flight home. We were supposed to and were planning on driving home on Wednesday Morning.
This left me stunned as I asked him “Why he wasn’t driving back with me?” his response was to the effect of “My girlfriend is having a rough time at the moment”.
We are very close, I’ve known and worked with him for a long time. We became even closer on the way over. We shared intimate details about our lives. He would’ve told me if things were bad back home. It feels like he was planning on never driving home with me in the first place. I initially wanted to leave on Tuesday Morning but he said to wait till Wednesday too, which is strange to me. I later on found out that work even paid for his flight home. My suspicions is that he just didn’t want to drive back with me because, I’ll be real, the drive sucks so he fed them some BS about his partner and got a flight home before the drive started.
Anyways, I became upset. I will preface i did not tell him i was upset or make a scene to him in the moment but he said “Sorry Bro, i hope you get home safe.” which ticked me off and i walked away without saying goodbye.
Things have been tense since and I’m on my way home now, solo. I’ll be honest I’m really upset with my friend because i feel like I’ve been abandoned to do this trip myself, pay the entire thing (about $1,500AUD or ~$950USD) and just go along with it because “…the missus needs me”. I have a partner too and if the roles were reversed i would’ve never ditched him like this.
Reddit AITA for being upset i got abandoned on the other side of the country?
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Hey Reddit I just need an outside opinion on this because I’ve had mixed reviews on this story and want to see if I can keep this unbiased as possible.
For context, I (23M) live in Australia and work in WA with my friend (25M). We both had to get to Sydney, NSW for a course for work and do to unforeseen circumstances the course got shortened from 5 months to 1.5 months.
Before this course started we both agreed to drive from Perth, WA to Sydney NSW. Now for those unaware, Australia is HUGE and this drive is nearly 4,000km (or 2,500 miles). This drive took us 5 days of driving close to all day. Another reason for driving was saving cost, it cost me roughly $750aud (~500USD) of my own money to drive there. Flights are around $1k AUD ($650USD).
Another, point that I’d like to add is that Australia has massive stretches of road that have no reception whatsoever. No “SOS Only” even in some parts. The idea was we would help each other if anything went wrong. On the driver to Sydney I didn’t have reception with my provider for nearly 2 1/2 days at one point. He had reception about 95% of the trip.
Long story short the course was shortened and we needed to replan the whole trip back and quickly.
After a week of planning, on Tuesday i was walking down the corridor and passed my friend who wasn’t wearing his work uniform. He then tells me he has found someone to drive him to the airport for his 5pm Flight home. We were supposed to and were planning on driving home on Wednesday Morning.
This left me stunned as I asked him “Why he wasn’t driving back with me?” his response was to the effect of “My girlfriend is having a rough time at the moment”.
We are very close, I’ve known and worked with him for a long time. We became even closer on the way over. We shared intimate details about our lives. He would’ve told me if things were bad back home. It feels like he was planning on never driving home with me in the first place. I initially wanted to leave on Tuesday Morning but he said to wait till Wednesday too, which is strange to me. I later on found out that work even paid for his flight home. My suspicions is that he just didn’t want to drive back with me because, I’ll be real, the drive sucks so he fed them some BS about his partner and got a flight home before the drive started.
Anyways, I became upset. I will preface i did not tell him i was upset or make a scene to him in the moment but he said “Sorry Bro, i hope you get home safe.” which ticked me off and i walked away without saying goodbye.
Things have been tense since and I’m on my way home now, solo. I’ll be honest I’m really upset with my friend because i feel like I’ve been abandoned to do this trip myself, pay the entire thing (about $1,500AUD or ~$950USD) and just go along with it because “…the missus needs me”. I have a partner too and if the roles were reversed i would’ve never ditched him like this.
Reddit AITA for being upset i got abandoned on the other side of the country?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’ve been radio silent with him and ghosting him now, but is it just coincidence his gf “needs” him? is this an asshole thing to do?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA I would be pissed too. And I agree, his “reasons” are suspect and smell like BS all the way here in the States.
Bro its like $200 one way, where are you finding $1k plus tickets, and if your moving mass, you get the train…. West to East… even with a car…
East to west, yeah, your gonna be driving if you want it cheap, just not sure how you decided all of this without looking at alternatives that would’ve saved you heaps. Hell, sell your car there, get your shit on the train if possible and train it all back
NTA
Its reasonable to be upset that the plan has changed because it does put you out of pocket financially, could be dangerous (I’m Canadian, I know all about long drives) and you had planned with him in mind. All reasonable reasons to be ticked off.
What I will say in your friend’s defense is that you’re not owed every detail about his home life and he may have been asked not to share things about his partner’s situation. Use some context clues, if your employer is willing to cover the cost to get him home when they weren’t covering your travel initially, it is likely something more serious is going on.
NAH.
As someone who literally went from NSW to WA in January, there’s next to no chance in hell that you saved anything decent by driving over five days rather than flying, given the price of fuel, food, and accommodation. The reception is crappy, particularly if you don’t have Telstra reception. It’s a given.
You don’t know if there was something going on with your friend’s partner that he didn’t share, hence the NAH vote. It very well could have been legit, last minute information that he wasn’t about to share the details with you.
As for the cost, that’s a work issue. If they’ve required you to take the course, they should be reimbursing you. Talk to them about it. If they paid for old mate to go home, then you might have room to ask for reimbursement.
NAH but this was a terrible idea in the first place. You should have just flown.
NAH
I get that you feel annoyed that he abandoned you but what you wanted to do is crazy.
You’re wasting so much time, money, and effort to save a few bucks. You’re putting yourself in danger too. I don’t blame him for backing out. I bet he hated the first drive and was trying to get out of it as soon as he can.
Nope, NTA. Because he agreed to go along with this grueling idea. This sucks, I am sorry. As for communication this definitely sounds like a situation that would benefit from satellite communication—if your phone carrier does not use a global satellite network or your phone doesn’t have that feature regardless, I would think e.g. a Garmin InReach device might work here given that they use the Iridium satellite network, which covers the whole globe. Get home safely!
NTA – he abandoned you on a really long drive without any cell coverage, and what would happen if your car broke down or something in that no reception zone? He clearly did not care about your safety, or your costs. he used you to get to the course for the reduced cost. Yes the drive sounds horrific and honestly not worth the savings on the plane tickets. I kinda feel his desire to get out of that really bad decision to drive. But he opted in and knew you could not opt out At this point. When the chips were down, he really was not your friend in any way on this one. You are right to be mad and I myself, I would probably walk from that friendship. If he did not care enough for your safety on such a long drive alone, what else is he going to tap out on in future?
Why on earth would you drive from Perth to Sydney? It’s not safer and certainly can’t be cheaper . The amount of wasted time is insane
I fly regularly from perth to the eastern states and the red eye on Jetstar is usually at the $200 mark one way. If it was a training course, work should have paid for your trip, accommodation, food and even transport. I don’t understand why you chose to drive and then even say it was a cheaper option when every Australia knows it’s not. Petrol in metro is way cheaper than country towns too so driving through bumfuck nowhere to get to Sydney and fill up the tank at those tiny towns would push up the price a lot! Accommodation too adds to the cost as well as wear and tear on your vechile. it’s not cheaper otherwise we’d all be driving and not flying.
OP, for whatever reason your work mate decided that one trip through the nullabor was enough. You can be upset but the fact is maybe you should take this as a learning curve to do your maths better and to learn your rights as an employee. work trip = all facets need to be paid for by your workplace.