I am still in the hospital recovering from complications after giving birth. My cousin is helping me write this because I am weak and we both feel like we need to set the record straight. My ex has been posting on Reddit about me and the baby and we saved all of his posts.
Here is what happened. I had blood poisoning during labor and ended up in a coma. The hospital could only release the baby to a parent so she went home with him. While this was happening he was posting online about how he was the victim. He wrote that I was selfish, that I was controlling, that I was trying to erase him. He mocked the people who supported me. He said only bitter women and single moms agreed with me. He claimed he was fighting to be a dad while I was unconscious.
The worst part is what he did with our daughter’s name. I had picked out a name years ago. Everyone knew it. He knew it. While I was unconscious he crossed it out and changed it. He gave her his last name and then bragged online about how he included us both. He was smug about it. My cousin saw him in the hospital smiling like he won something. That is why my cousin yelled at him. He was giddy about it while I was in the ICU.
He even made another post asking strangers for cute nicknames for the baby because he said I would not let him have input. I was literally fighting for my life. He cared more about winning a power struggle than about me or his daughter.
Then he made a long update where he tried to paint himself as some exhausted single dad. He said he was the one who got to bring the baby home like it was some prize. He said my family was harassing him. In reality we were terrified and desperate for information. He ignored us and acted like he was the only one who mattered.
So yes I blasted him. I told people exactly what he did. I feel like he stole my daughter’s name while I was powerless. I feel like he used Reddit to try to get sympathy and make me look like the villain. Now he is acting like the victim again because we are angry.
AITA for calling him out and exposing what he did while I was in the hospital?
Comments
Lawyer, not reddit
Get a lawyer. I’ve never heard of such a thing.
Get a lawyer. And you can change the name too. In my state, you have up to a year to do it at no charge.
Just confirming: you tried to solo name the baby without his input? Then he did the same thing back?
I see from your previous post you expected full control over first and last name, and generously “let him pick the middle name”
This is a great example of why kids shouldn’t be having kids
Oh I read his posts. You need to get a lawyer. Updateme
You need a lawyer, ASAP.
Put reddit down. “Setting the record straight” anonymously to a bunch of strangers who have nothing to with you only adds to the drama let him have his own little drama show moment and lawyer up. It sucks but that he wants to air out dirty laundry with lies but doing this ain’t really doing much.
Yeah your child’s name should be a mutual decision
Nta. And he just made any judge not like him. So make sure to get lawyers involved.
So he gave you a “manifesto” on pettiness not the best interest of his child….save that for court.
Updateme
updateme!
This is childish behavior and I feel sorry for your child.
Side note: you weren’t going to let him choose his own child’s name and now you’re mad that he did the same thing to you?
ESH
Saw the partner’s post. Seems like all fake.
This is petty and stupid. Your ex has less than a thousand karma–no one is reading his posts. Get off Reddit and start dealing with your real problems.
This is so fake it’s obvious. Look at the account names, lol. The post this is referring to is made by an account literally called “throwraevildad”
People fall for the most obvious shit here.
Change it back. It’s a simple matter really. Get custody and document everything
“Like he won something” and “like a prize” really read like AI slop.
YTA for not wanting to include or consider your BF in naming what is equally his child.
Also, YTA for not wanting the child to have HIS last name, but at the same time expect to enjoy the financial benefits of his family. Additionally from your other posts you make it clear you have NO problem with the child having his last name but you won’t allow that to happen unless he marries you. It’s like you’re weaponzing his desire to be included in the child’s naming, unless he marries you.
‘He is also refusing to give me the baby stuff. His family bought a crib, bottles, clothes, and he has the car seat which I literally need to even leave the hospital. He takes hours or even days to respond to me now. It feels like he is punishing me for not giving in.’
That child is equally his child and while I can understand you had a dream name from childhood, this should have been worked out and compromised on well before the time of birth. You’re so hyper focused on the child’s name that you’re willing to ostracize the father, his family, and create an unstable family environment.
Wild. Also, all your comments about worrying about being cut off from his family’s financial support and emotional support is self-absorbed and inconsiderate.
So you didn’t give him a say in naming what is also HIS child and HIS decision, your trying to reframe the situation as he’s the bad guy because he did the same thing you did when he had the opportunity.
You picked the first name and last name of the child without considering what he wanted. Now you’re mad because he did the same exact thing you did to him lol.
Make it make sense.
Well at least you guys agree on the middle name lol. You might as well make the middle name the first name, your choice of first name as the middle name, and his last name as the last name.
If you are unmarried. How was he able to take the baby home? Even if he was the bio father. He couldn’t possibly be the legal father at that point. DNA couldn’t have been tested in the timeline involved. I’m shocked he even got to mess with the birth certificate because BOTH parents’ signatures would be required on a AOP.
I asked this question on his thread but it never got answered.
Has to be a fake post. Just got out of a coma, and thinks posting on Reddit is a good idea. Come on.
Judging by both his posts and your posts, neither of you should be having a child.
ESH except the poor child that will likely have to grow up in this ridiculous situation.
I saw this post about your ex, acting like a poor thing. I hope you can resolve this entire process.
Both of you get off Reddit, stay out of relationships until your pickers are fixed after lengthy therapy, and obtain legal counsel.
Both of you need to put the child first and stop with the main character syndrome bullcrap.
This doesnt sound real. Unless youre married the mother fills out the paperwork. They dont t just assume anyone is the father. Its the mother’s responsibility to fill out the paperwork and its not likely they’d just give him the baby, the baby would go to the mother’s next of kin and everything would be sorted out if and when she woke up from a coma…. I think this is a fake post…
UpdateMe!
This is divorce worthy. He used your vulnerability to break your trust. I’d only talk to him about coparenting only going forward. I’m so sorry OP.
NTA. And protect yourself and get an attorney, immediately.
So from what I can tell you just want validation? Interesting you seem to be replying to comments that agree with you
Yeah, I agree with everyone you need to get off Reddit and get lawyers involved. The fact is, I read his post & yeah it reeks of spin. LIke you are at your parents and then “some random apartment” and that back again. Like a stranger on the street let you into their apartment…that’s bizarre. He also says you were eating garbage? What qualifies as garbage? If he was so concerned he could drop home cooked meals off at your parents house…it is his child right? Start arranging to speak to him through a communication app. Whether he is right or wrong, he is going to make your life living hell for the next 18 years. CPS will be called on the regular. Your new boyfriend’s will be background checked. There will be people you don’t know taking pictures of you from the bush. This really is a mess.
NTA he’s a pathetic little man. How did he even claim paternity? The registration office may be liable for accepting altered documents.
NTA. Keep EVERYTHING he has ever posted so that you can create a timeline and compare it to how long you were in a comatose state. Definitely get that name change and then get a divorce because he’s psychotic and that poor baby doesn’t need to be around that at all.