I22f have been babysitting with this family for 4 months (2 children ages 2 and 4.) I babysit Monday-Friday, 7am to 2pm (3days out the weeks) then 2pm-10pm the other two. Also date nights. I’ve been babysitting since I was 16, I know how this works, this wasn’t a new thing.
Im 7 weeks pregnant; the morning sickness just started rolling in. I used their bathroom, got sick, did not make a mess and the kids were asleep. This happened two or three times, I wasn’t yet disclosing my pregnancy. Again no one noticed, except the parents seen on the camera me run back and forth to the bathroom which I got a message asking if I was okay, I said yes. The next day this happened again, my boss ended up asking if I was sick and said how they weren’t comfortable with me showing up to work sick. I finally said I’m not sick, I’m pregnant, but it wouldn’t affect how I do my job, they congratulated me. That night I got a message saying how they were upset that I didn’t disclose this to them, and how they didn’t believe I could do a sufficient job watching their children while pregnant and how they had to let me go and how I’d receive my payment the same day I usually do.
I was upset obviously but what am I going to do? The day I usually get paid on roles around and I have yet to receive my payment. The next day I try to message them and my numbers blocked. My fiancé tries, and then they block him as well. I was pretty heated at this point and saw them requesting new sitters on Facebook so I made a Facebook post in the group we use stating my situation, which got a lot of attention. They ended up unblocking my number and calling me an ah saying how I was ruining their reputation and handling this immaturely, I’ve had several of their relatives or friends message me as well demanding I take down the post. I said no because I still haven’t received any payment, they are still messaging me. AITA?
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I22f have been babysitting with this family for 4 months (2 children ages 2 and 4.) I babysit Monday-Friday, 7am to 2pm (3days out the weeks) then 2pm-10pm the other two. Also date nights. I’ve been babysitting since I was 16, I know how this works, this wasn’t a new thing.
Im 7 weeks pregnant; the morning sickness just started rolling in. I used their bathroom, got sick, did not make a mess and the kids were asleep. This happened two or three times, I wasn’t yet disclosing my pregnancy. Again no one noticed, except the parents seen on the camera me run back and forth to the bathroom which I got a message asking if I was okay, I said yes. The next day this happened again, my boss ended up asking if I was sick and said how they weren’t comfortable with me showing up to work sick. I finally said I’m not sick, I’m pregnant, but it wouldn’t affect how I do my job, they congratulated me. That night I got a message saying how they were upset that I didn’t disclose this to them, and how they didn’t believe I could do a sufficient job watching their children while pregnant and how they had to let me go and how I’d receive my payment the same day I usually do.
I was upset obviously but what am I going to do? The day I usually get paid on roles around and I have yet to receive my payment. The next day I try to message them and my numbers blocked. My fiancé tries, and then they block him as well. I was pretty heated at this point and saw them requesting new sitters on Facebook so I made a Facebook post in the group we use stating my situation, which got a lot of attention. They ended up unblocking my number and calling me an ah saying how I was ruining their reputation and handling this immaturely, I’ve had several of their relatives or friends message me as well demanding I take down the post. I said no because I still haven’t received any payment, they are still messaging me. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I made a Facebook post after the people I babysit for refused to pay me and fired me for being pregnant. They messaged me calling me and ah and has their family texting me. I might be the ah for going to Facebook.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
It seems like they weren’t concerned about if you could do the job. They just didn’t want to pay you and used your pregnancy as a reason.
NTA. Stand your ground. Post stays up until payment comes through. They ruined their own reputation.
NTA. You didn’t ruin their reputation: they did.
NTA. Pregnancy discrimination plus wage theft? They earned that public dragging.
NTA, good for you!
Have they offered an explanation as to ehy they still haven’t paid?
NTA
I don’t think you should take down the post at all, as long as everything in it is true.
They can terminate your services for any reason they want at any time they want (assuming there is no contract, which would be highly unusual for a babysitting situation). But they have to pay for services rendered unless there is a compelling reason not to (for example, if you had done some expensive damage on the last day you worked for them).
Not paying you without such a compelling reason makes them thieves. Grimy, nasty, low-life thieves. Shout it from the rooftops!
NTA….If they owe you money, they need to pay you. And at this juncture, I would not only request that they pay you what you are owed, but also two weeks severance as well. Only then will you remove your post.
Why they think you could not take care of their children just because you are pregnant is crazy and why just fire you without any notice? Now they are the ones who are stuck trying to find a sitter on short notice.
NTA. The irony of not being able to look after kids while pregnant. Surely the mother remembers that she was perfectly fine being able to look after the 4 yr old while pregnant with the 2 yr old.
NTA and say you’ll take it down once they pay you. Then leave it up for them being the AH 😂
NTA- at the very least, you are due payment for service you provided. Blast them everywhere possible so they can’t do this to another sitter/nanny for some other dumb, unfair, selfish, professionally unethical, reason. Nothing is free because you’re upset someone is pregnant. They showed you who they really are. Poor kids! You deserve better!
NTA
Absolutely do not take it down until the money is in your account plus interest
NTA
Tell them you take the post down when they pay you what they owe you plus a late fee 🤷🏻♀️
Updateme
Of course NTA. They owe you money for a service you provided for them. That’s it, end of story. If you were a plumber who they didn’t pay after you fixed their toilet you’d be equally in the right. You couldn’t contact them directly because they blocked you, so what were you supposed to do? Besides, future potential sitters deserve to be aware that they may not get paid for their work if the family has an issue with them for a ridiculous reason. I mean, you still did your job, it’s not like you abandoned the kids or didn’t feed them or something. So, you deserve your pay.
If you’re in the US, file a complaint with the Department of Labor for wrongful termination. Pregnant people are a protected class.
Then file with small claims court for the unpaid wages.
Edit: not the AH, they are crooked
NTA. Take them to small claims court if you need to. They can’t refuse your last check.
NTA, this is about them owing you money. Just tell anyone contacting you they owe you money.
Absolutely do not remove the post… The post stays off until they pay you. Also I would follow-up with another post saying that you still have not received payment but you are receiving phone calls to take it down and they are recruiting family to do the same on their behalf. Keep making posts until you are paid.
NTA
In most western countries it’s actually against the law to fire someone based on pregnancy
Also if you’ve got a contract with them they HAVE to pay you, I’d tell them they have 24 hours to pay or you’ll take them to small claims court
NTA They fired you for being pregnant and suffering morning sickness. Then they stiffed you on your pay and blocked you. You have every right to blast them and make other potential babysitters aware of how they act. They ruined their own reputation by acting like idiots, you just brought it into the light!
I’d post on it every day saying you still haven’t been paid and do so until they do pay you!
NTA. Screenshot their follow up texts and post them as well.
Maybe with the caption: “All you have to do for the negative attention to go away is pay me what you owe me. You have until [insert date] to pay me in full.”
If they don’t pay you by the deadline, elevate it to small claims court.
And never take the posts down if they miss the aforementioned deadline. Maybe edit the caption, saying they eventually paid, but only after the deadline passed. Be factual. Be honest. But be ruthless in getting your back pay.
just an observation, what did the wife do when she was expecting baby number 2 ? tell hubby to borrow another wife for 9 months ?
youre not the AH, wishing you a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby
You don’t fire someone and then fail to pay them because they’re pregnant. That’s 50 different kinds of wrong. Absolutely keep them on blast because no one else should choose to work for people like that. NTA
NTA
Don’t remove the post and add to it that they (and their relatives or acquaintance) are harassing you via texts.
If I were you, I would not remove it after payment as well; leave it as a warning to others
Roles around? Really?
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/roll%20around
NTA. You didn’t ruin their reputation, you simply revealed their true colours. Something you wouldn’t have been forced to do if they had treated you decent.
NTA. It’s wild that the parents are monitoring the cameras enough to notice your bathroom habits.
Take them to small claims court.
I doubt they will find sitters to so the hours you did. This is a very bizarre situation. It would be easier for them to pay you. Can you think of any reason that you have not disclosed why not?????
And they handled it maturely? NTA.
NTA. They fired you for being pregnant, which wouldn’t have affected your ability to do your job. Pregnant mum’s manage to look after older kids just fine, after all. But, more importantly for you, you still haven’t been paid, and they blocked you, and then your partner, so you couldn’t chase it up, either. Regardless of being fired simply for being pregnant, refusing to pay your eared wages is a huge thing that potential new babysitters need to know about.
You did the right thing. They’re advertising for your replacement, those potential employees need to know what to expect from this job. What to expect is getting fired for stupid reasons, and not getting paid earned wages. If these parents didn’t want their reputation trashed like this, they shouldn’t have done something to cause it. You’d have just let this go if being fired was the only issue. If they’d just paid you your wages then there’d have been zero issues. Now other potential babysitters know that these people aren’t professional and will likely not be good employers for very long, and they can choose if they want to risk a sudden loss of job with no pay or go with someone more professional and decent as an employer.
For you, accept the loss, they’re not going to pay you, and taking them to small claims court may be too expensive and stressful, though you can totally go that route if you want to. Leave the post up. Block your old employers and anyone contacting you on their behalf, they’re nothing to you and have zero reason to contact you. You have even less reason to listen to them or respond, so just block the lot.
You handled this right, in my opinion. Other people who work as babysitters have a right to know what sort of employers this couple are.
Nta. Add to the post that you will leave the post there until you are paid!
That should at least shut half the people up, and it may get you paid.
Call the labor board if they dont pay you. Or file for unemployment. Being fired for being pregnant is the same as being laid off. You would qualify!
Keep it up until they pay you at least, (or maybe say you’ll take it down once they pay you to expedite payment). People deserve to know who they work for. It’s up to you whether you want to keep it up or not. Is it an option to go to the house and collect payment so you can be done with it?
Ask them to pay you what they owe, and then you’ll take the post down, but until then, it stays up as a warning to potential babysitters as to what kind of people they are.
MTA, they are the one who handled the situation immaturely by blocking you and refusing payment. They ruined their own reputation with their actions, you are just stating the facts.
Updateme
NTA, stand your ground. I bet if the wife got fired any of the times she was pregnant, she’d be outraged, but they have no problem firing you! Disgusting behaviour, made worse by them not even having the decency to pay you your final pay. Until they pay up, the post stays up!
Updateme
NTA agree keep the post up after as well. And… if there are any other sitter groups for your area, post about them there as well. Others should know they are not honest and try to cheat their help.
I realize this is a direct hire role in a home but, firing someone for being pregnant is illegal for businesses and I’m sure they know it. That’s a top of the line dirtbag move.
NTA. For good measure, I’d post a screenshot of the text also
NTA Honestly I’m petty AF, every time they or anyone else would message me about taking down my post. I would either send a meme or post lyrics of Rihanna’s “B Better Have My Money”. Everyday all day until I got paid. Especially if they fired you for being pregnant and not telling them that you are. Well you wanna act stupid, fine then I’ll act petty.
NTA, the immature ones are your previous employers that a re refusing to pay what is owed. Time for small claims court! I’d also update the your post stating that they have yet to pay you and you will be going to small claims court.
They should be embarrassed. They fired a pregnant woman and didn’t pay her! Be sure to screen shot all posts and communications.
Tell them you’ll take it down when they PAY YOU for what you WORKED.
NTA
The only ones who ruined their reputation was THEM. You don’t have to disclose the pregnancy until it is closer to when you will have to leave work, just like any other medical issue. Keep your posts up until they pay you. Also don’t delete your texts. If they don’t pay you take them to small claims court and bring photocopies of all of their text messages and FB contacts/comments as evidence.
Definitely NTA… how are you being immature about this when they are the ones who fired you, refuse to pay you the money they owe you, and then go as far as blocking you and your fiancée just so they don’t pay you?
TBH, it’s good that you posted on that group/message board (not a fb user so idk how it works lol) but you probably saved someone from having to go through the same thing you went through.
They are the only ones ruining their reputation, not you.
TL;DR: You’re dealing with a real injustice, but the public blasting might be your hurt inner child acting out when your more mature self could find better solutions.
NTA for being upset – what they did was likely illegal and definitely cruel. Being fired for pregnancy is discrimination, and withholding pay you earned is theft. Your anger is completely valid.
But here’s the thing – when we’re hurt and vulnerable (hello, hormones plus job loss), we often react from our least developed psychological functions. The Facebook blast feels like your feeling function taking over – you want justice, you want people to know how wrong this was, you want validation. That’s so human and understandable. But it probably came from a wounded place rather than your most empowered self.
The parents sound like they’re operating from an underdeveloped thinking function – all rules and control with zero consideration for you as a human being. They saw “pregnant = liability” and couldn’t access any empathy or problem-solving skills. Their shadow is showing big time.
Your thinking function might serve you better here than your feelings, even though the feelings are totally justified. You have actual legal recourse – pregnancy discrimination and wage theft are serious issues. A lawyer or your state’s labor board could get you real results, not just social media sympathy.
One thing you could do today: screenshot everything (their messages, your records) and contact your state’s Department of Labor about the unpaid wages. Let your mature, strategic self handle this instead of just your hurt feelings. You deserve actual justice, not just the temporary satisfaction of calling them out online.
Keep editing the post. Add a comment every time they harass you. Record exactly what they say. When someone calls, tell them you are just waiting on your payment.
NTA
If payment ever arrive – still don’t take down the post.
If you feel very generous add the note in the end that payment arrived X days after the post.
No. You are not. They could just go ahead and pay you!
Pregnancy is a protected condition so then firing you might also be illegal. I would also talk to the EEOC. Maybe you don’t wanna file a lawsuit or pursue anything but it would put pressure on them.
Updateme
NTA. I hope you are planning to take legal action to get your money. You should amend your post to say you still haven’t been paid. Now, they are harassing you for telling the truth.